English Grammar for Dummies

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English Grammar Far dummies® www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Parts of Speech i^ Noun: names a person, place, thing, idea (Lulu, jail, cantaloupe, loyalty, and so on) W

Pronoun: takes the place of a noun (he, who, I, what, and so on)

u* Verb: expresses action or being (scrambled, was, should win, and so on) v* Adjective: describes a noun or pronoun (messy, strange, alien, and so on) A> Adverb: describes a verb, adjective, or other adverb (willingly, woefully, very, and so on) u* Preposition: relates a noun or a pronoun to another word in the sentence (by, for, from, and so on) i^ Conjunction: ties two words or groups of words together (and, after, although, and so on) i > Interjection: expresses strong emotion (yikesi wow! ouch! and so on)

Parts of a Sentence f

Verb (also called the predicate): expresses the action or state of being

t> Subject: the person or thing being talked about u* Complement: a word or group of words that completes the meaning of the subject-verb pair i> Types of complements: direct and indirect objects, subject complement, objective complement

Pronouns Tips Pronouns that may be used only as subjects or subject complements: I, he, she, we, they, who, whoever. Pronouns that may be used only as objects or objective complements: me, him, her, us, them, whom, whomever. Common pronouns that may be used as either subjects or objects: you, it, everyone, anyone, no one, someone, mine, ours, yours, theirs, either, neither, each, everybody, anybody, nobody, somebody, everything, anything, nothing, something, any, none, some, which, what, that. Pronouns that show possession: my, mine, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs, whose.

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Subject-Verb Agreement Tips W

Match singular subjects with singular verbs, plural subjects with plural verbs.

i* Amounts of time and money are usually singular (ten dollars is). v* Either/or and neither/nor: Match the verb to the closest subject (neither the boys nor the girl is). v0 Either and neither, without their partners orand nor, always take a singular verb (either of the apples is). v* All subjects preceded by each and everytake a singular verb. k* Both, few, several, many are always plural.

Punctuation Tips u* Endmarks: All sentences need an endmark: a period, question mark, exclamation point, or ellipsis. Never put two endmarks at the end of the same sentence. V

Apostrophes: For singular ownership generally add s;for plural ownership generally add s'.

Commas: In direct address use commas to separate the name from the rest of the sentence. In lists place commas between items in a list, but not before the first item. Before conjunctions, when combining two complete sentences with a conjunction, place a comma before the conjunction. If you have one subject and two verbs, don't put a comma before the conjunction.

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Verb Tense Tips u* Simple present tense: tells what is happening now ^

Simple past tense: tells what happened before now

i* Simple future: talks about what has not happened yet J>

Present perfect tense: expresses an action or state of being in the present that has some connection with the past

v* Past perfect tense: places an event before another event in the past W

Future perfect tense: talks about something that has not happened yet in relation to another event in the future

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Wiley Publishing, Inc.

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English Grammar FOR

by Géraldine Woods

Wiley Publishing, Inc. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com English Grammar For Dummies® Published by Wiley Publishing, Inc. 909 Third Avenue New York, NY 10022 www.wi1ey.com

Copyright © 2001 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana Published simultaneously in Canada No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8700. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Legal Department, Wiley Publishing, Inc., 10475 Crosspoint Blvd., Indianapolis, IN 46256, 317-572-3447, fax 317-572-4447, or e-mail permcoordi nator@wi 1 ey . com Trademarks: Wiley, the Wiley Publishing logo, For Dummies, the Dummies Man logo, A Reference for the Rest of Us!, The Dummies Way, Dummies Daily, The Fun and Easy way, Dummies.com and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of Wiley Publishing, Inc., in the United States and other countries, and may not be used without written permission. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Wiley Publishing, Inc., is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. 1 LIMIT OF LIABILITY/DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY: WHILE THE PUBLISHER AND AUTHOR HAVE USED THEIR BEST I EFFORTS IN PREPARING THIS BOOK, THEY MAKE NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES WITH RESPECT TO THE ACCURACY OR COMPLETENESS OF THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIM ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. NO WARRANTY MAY BE CREATED OR EXTENDED BY SALES REPRESENTATIVES OR WRITTEN SALES MATERIALS. THE ADVICE AND STRATEGIES CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUR SITUATION. YOU SHOULD CONSULT WITH A PROFESSIONAL WHERE APPROPRIATE. NEITHER THE PUBLISHER NOR AUTHOR SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OF PROFIT OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES. For general information on our other products and services or to obtain technical support, please contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-762-2974, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3993, or fax 317-572-4002. Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data: Library of Congress Control Number: 2001089309 ISBN: 0-7645-5322-4 Manufactured in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 1B/RT/QT/QT/IN

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About the Author Géraldine Woods' career as a grammarian began in her elementary school, which in those days was called "grammar school" for very good reason. With the guidance of a series of nuns carrying long rulers (good for pointing at the board and slapping unruly students), she learned how to diagram every conceivable type of sentence. She has been an English teacher for 25 years and has written 40 books, give or take a few. She loves minor-league baseball, Chinese food, and the novels of Jane Austen. The mother of a grown son (Tom, a lawyer), she lives in New York City with Harry (her husband of 30 years) and parakeets Alice and Archie.

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Dedication For my husband and son, the hearts of my life.

Author's Acknowledgments I offer thanks to my students, whose intelligence and curiosity never fail to inspire me. I also thank technical editor Tom LaFarge, whose good sense of humor and knowledge of grammar vastly improved this book. I am grateful to my project editor Linda Brandon, whose thoughtful comments challenged me to clarify my explanations and whose encouragement changed many a bad day into a good one. I appreciate the hard work of copy editors Billie Williams and Ellen Considine, who constantly reminded me to focus on you, the reader. I am also grateful to acquisitions editors Joyce Pepple, Roxane Cerda, and Susan Decker, who encouraged me at every opportunity. I owe a debt of gratitude to my agent, Carolyn Krupp, who calmed my nerves and answered my e-mails with unfailing courtesy and valuable assistance. Lastly, I thank my colleagues in the English Department, whose passion for teaching and love of our subject make my time at work a pleasure.

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Publisher's Acknowledgments We're proud of this book; please send us your comments through our online registration form locatedatwww.dummies.com/register. Some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following: Acquisitions, Editorial, and Media Development Project Editor Linda Brandon Acquisitions Editor: Susan Decker Copy Editors: Ellen Considine, Billie A. Williams Technical Editor: Thomas LaFarge 5

Production P r o j e c t C o o r d i n a t o r : R e g i n a S n y der LàywA

a n d G r a p h i c s : A m y Adriarl) Karl Brandt?

Joyce Haughey, Jill Piscitelli, Betty Schulte, ^rian Torwelle, Julie Trippetti, Jeremey Unger „ ,„ mn^„n^^,^ Proofreaders: Angel Perez, TECHBOOKS Production Services Indexer: TECHBOOKS Production Services Special Help Jennifer Ehrlich

Publishing and Editorial for Consumer Dummies Diane Graves Steele, Vice President and Publisher, Consumer Dummies Joyce Pepple, Acquisitions Director, Consumer Dummies Kristin A. co*cks, Product Development Director, Consumer Dummies Michael Spring, Vice President and Publisher, Travel Brice Gosnell, Publishing Director, Travel Suzanne Jannetta, Editorial Director, Travel Publishing for Technology Dummies Richard Swadley, Vice President and Executive Group Publisher Andy Cummings, Vice President and Publisher Composition Services Gerry Fahey, Vice President of Production Services Debbie Stailey, Director of Composition Services

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Contents at a Glance Introduction

Part 1: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence ..... 7 Chapter 1:1 Already Know How to Talk. Why Should I Study Grammar? Chapter 2: Verbs: The Heart of the Sentence Chapter 3: Relax! Understanding Verb Tense Chapter 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject Chapter 5: Having It All: The Complete Sentence Chapter 6: Handling Complements

Part 11: Avoiding Common Errors

9 17 31 45 59 69

.......................5/

Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences Chapter 8: Do You Feel Bad or Badly? The Lowdown on Adjectives and Adverbs Chapter 9: Prepositions and Interjections and Articles, Oh My! Other Parts of Speech Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors Chapter 11: Just Nod Your Head: About Agreement

Ill 119 131

Part HI: Mo Garage, but Plenty of Mechanics

147

Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

149 163 181 191 203

12: Punctuation Law That Should Be Repealed: Apostrophes 13: Quotations: More Rules Than the Internal Revenue Service 14: The Pause That Refreshes: Commas 15: Adding Information: Semicolons, Dashes, and Colons 16: CAPITAL LETTERS

Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar Chapter 17: Pronouns and Their Cases Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs Chapter 19: Saying What You Want to Say: Descriptive Words and Phrases Chapter 20: Good, Better, Best: Comparisons Chapter 21: Parallels Without the Lines www.watchtvsitcoms.com

83 95

..219 221 233 247 255 269

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Part V: Rules Even \lour Great-Aunt's Grammar Teacher Didn't Knotf

283

Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

285 297 309 325

22: 23: 24: 25:

The Last Word on Verbs The Last Word on Pronouns The Last Word on Sentence Structure The Last Word on Punctuation

Part VI: The Part of Tens

337

Chapter 26: Ten Ways Two to Improve Your Proofreading Chapter 27: Ten Ways to Learn Better Grammar

339 343

Index

36 7

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Cartoons at a Glance By Rich lennant

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Table of Contents Introduction

About This Book How to Use This Book What You Are Not to Read Foolish Assumptions How This Book Is Organized Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence Part II: Avoiding Common Errors Part III: No Garage, but Plenty of Mechanics Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar Part V: Rules Even Your Great-Aunt's Grammar Teacher Didn't Know Part VI: The Part of Tens Icons Used in This Book Where to Go from Here

Part 1: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence Chapter 1:1 Already Know How to Talk. Why Should I Study Grammar? Living Better with Better Grammar Deciding Which Grammar to Learn Distinguishing between the Three Englishes Wanna get something to eat? Friendspeak Do you feel like getting a sandwich? Conversational English Will you accompany me to the dining room? Formal English Using the Right English at the Right Time Relying on Computer Grammar Checkers Is Not Enough

Chapter 2: Verbs: The Heart of the Sentence Linking Verbs: The Giant Equal Sign Being or linking — what's in a name? Savoring sensory verbs Completing Linking Verb Sentences Correctly Placing the Proper Pronoun in the Proper Place Lights! Camera! Action Verb! Getting by with a Littlewww.watchtvsitcoms.com Help from My Verbs Pop the Question: Locating the Verb Forget To Be or Not To Be: Infinitives Are Not Verbs

7 1 2 2 2 3 3 3 4 4 4 5 5 6

7 9 9 10 11 12 12 13 14 15

17 17 19 20 21 23 25 26 27 28

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Chapter 3: Relax! Understanding Verb Tense Simplifying Matters: The Simple Tenses Present tense Past tense Future tense Using the Tenses Correctly Present and present progressive Past and past progressive Future and future progressive Perfecting Grammar: The Perfect Tenses Present perfect and present perfect progressive Past perfect and past perfect progressive Future perfect and future perfect progressive Using Present Perfect Tense Correctly Forming Present and Past Participles of Regular Verbs Just to Make Things More Difficult: Irregular Verbs "To be or not to be" is a complete pain Irregular past and past participles Chapter 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject Who's Driving the Truck or Why the Subject Is Important Teaming up: Subject and verb pairs Compound subjects and verbs: Two for the price of one Pop the Question: Locating the Subject-Verb Pair What's a Nice Subject Like You Doing in a Place Like This?: Unusual Word Order Find That Subject! Detecting You-Understood Don't Get Faked Out: Avoiding Fake Verbs and Subjects Finding fake verbs Watching out for here and there and other fake subjects Choosing the correct verb for here and there sentences Subjects Aren't Just a Singular Sensation: Forming the Plural of Nouns Regular plurals The IES and YS have it No knifes here: Irregular plurals The brother-in-law rule: Hyphenated plurals When the Subject Is a Number Chapter 5: Having It All: The Complete Sentence Completing Sentences: The Essential Subjects and Verbs Complete Thoughts, Complete Sentences Taking an Incomplete: Fragment Sentences Oh, Mama, Could This Really Be the End? Understanding Endmarks www.watchtvsitcoms.com

31 32 32 32 33 34 34 35 36 36 36 37 38 38 40 41 41 42 45 45 46 46 47 48 49 51 51 52 53 54 54 55 56 57 57 59 59 61 63 65

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Chapter 6: Handling Complements Getting to the Action: Action Verb Complements Receiving the action: Direct objects Rare, but sometimes there: Indirect objects No bias here: Objective complements Finishing the Equation: Linking Verb Complements Pop the Question: Locating the Complement Pop the Question: Finding the Indirect Object Pronouns as Objects and Subject Complements

Part 11: Avoiding Common Errors . Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences Matchmaking: Combining Sentences Legally Connecting with coordinate conjunctions Pausing to place commas Attaching thoughts: Semi-colons Boss and Employee: Joining Ideas of Unequal Ranks Choosing subordinate conjunctions Steering clear of fragments Employing Pronouns to Combine Sentences Chapter 8: Do You Feel Bad or Badly? The Lowdown on Adjectives and Adverbs Adding Adjectives Adjectives describing nouns Adjectives describing pronouns Attaching adjectives to linking verbs Pop the question: Identifying adjectives Stalking the Common Adverb Pop the question: Finding the adverb Adverbs describing adjectives and other adverbs Distinguishing Between Adjectives and Adverbs Sorting adjectives from adverbs: The -ly test Sorting out adjective/adverb pairs Avoiding Common Mistakes with Adjectives and Adverbs Placing even Placing almost Placing only

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69 70 70 72 73 74 75 76 78

.81 83 83 84 84 87 88 89 91 92 95 96 96 97 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 108 108 109 110

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Chapter 9: Prepositions and Interjections and Articles, Oh My! Other Parts of Speech Proposing Relationships: Prepositions The objects of my affection: Prepositional phrases and their objects Are you talking to I? Prepositions and pronouns A good part of speech to end a sentence with? Interjections Are Easy! Articles: Not Just for Magazines Anymore Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors Pairing Pronouns with Nouns Deciding between Singular and Plural Pronouns Using Singular and Plural Possessive Pronouns Positioning Pronoun-Antecedent Pairs Avoiding Common Pronoun Errors Using troublesome singular pronouns properly Steering clear of sexist pronouns Chapter 11: Just Nod Your Head: About Agreement Writing Singular and Plural Verbs The unchangeables The changeables Easier Than Marriage Counseling: Making Subjects and Verbs Agree Choosing Verbs for Two Subjects The Question of Questions Present tense questions Past tense questions Future tense questions Negative Statements and Subject-Verb Agreement The Distractions: Prepositional Phrases and Other Irrelevant Words Can't We All Just Get Along? Agreement with Difficult Subjects Five puzzling pronouns as subjects Here and there you find problems The Ones, the Things, and the Bodies Each and every mistake is painful I want to be alone: Either and neither without their partners Politics, statistics, and other irregular subjects www.watchtvsitcoms.com

111 Ill 112 115 116 117 117 119 119 121 123 125 127 127 129 131 131 132 132 135 136 137 137 138 138 139 140 141 141 142 143 143 144 145

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Part 111: No Garage, but Plenty of Mechanics

Table of Contents

Chapter 12: Punctuation Law That Should Be Repealed: Apostrophes The Pen of My Aunt or My Aunt's Pen? Using Apostrophes to Show Possession Ownership for singles Because Bill doesn't own everything: Plural possessives Possession with Proper Nouns Ownership with Hyphenated Words Possessive Nouns That End in S Common Apostrophe Errors with Pronouns Shortened Words for Busy People: Contractions Common contraction mistakes Contractions you ne'er use except in poetry Using Apostrophes with Symbols and Numbers Chapter 13: Quotations: More Rules Than the Internal Revenue Service And I Quote Punctuating Quotations Quotations with speaker tags Quotations without speaker tags Quotations with question marks Quotations with exclamation points Quotations with semicolons Quotations inside quotations Who Said That? Identifying Speaker Changes Using Sanitizing Quotation Marks Quoting Slang Punctuating Titles: When to Use Quotation Marks Chapter 14: The Pause That Refreshes: Commas Distinguishing Items: Commas in Series Separating a List of Descriptions You Talkin' to Me? Direct Address Using Commas in Addresses and Dates Addressing addresses Punctuating dates Flying Solo: Introductory Words Chapter 15: Adding Information: Semicolons, Dashes, and Colons Gluing Complete Thoughts Together: Semicolons www.watchtvsitcoms.com Using semicolons with false joiners Separating items in a list with semicolons

167 149 150 150 151 154 155 156 157 158 159 162 162 163 163 165 165 169 170 172 172 173 175 176 177 178 181 182 183 186 187 187 188 190 191 191 192 194

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Creating a Stopping Point: Colons Addressing a business letter Introducing lists Introducing long quotations Joining explanations Giving Additional Information — Dashes

Chapter 16: CAPITAL LETTERS Capitalizing (or Not) References to People Addressing Chief Dogcatcher and other officials Writing about family relationships Capitalizing the Deity Capitalizing Geography: Directions, Places, and Languages Directions and areas of a country Capitalizing geographic features An exception to the rule on country names Tackling race and ethnicity Marking Seasons and Other Times Schooling: Courses, Years, and Subjects Writing Capitals in Book and Other Titles Concerning Historic Capitals: Events and Eras If U Cn Rd Ths, U Cn Abbreviate Giving the Last Word to the Poet

Part \V: Polishinq Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar Chapter 17: Pronouns and Their Cases Me Like Tarzan: Choosing Subject Pronouns Compounding interest: Pairs of subjects Attracting appositives Picking pronouns for comparisons Connecting pronouns to linking verbs Using Pronouns as Direct and Indirect Objects Choosing objects for prepositions Seeing double causes problems Pronouns of Possession: No Exorcist Needed Dealing with Pronouns and "-Ing" Nouns

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195 196 196 197 198 199

203 203 204 205 207 207 207 208 208 209 210 210 212 213 214 216

219 221 221 222 223 225 226 228 228 229 230 231

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs Giving Voice to Verbs Making the Better Choice: Active Voice Putting It in Order: Sequence of Tenses Case 1: Simultaneous events — main verbs Case 2: Simultaneous events — verbals Case 3: Events at two different times in the past Case 4: More than two past events, all at different times Case 5: Two events in the future Case 6: Different times, different verb forms Reporting Information: The Verb Tells the Story Recognizing Eternal Truths: Statements That Are Always in Present Tense Chapter 19: Saying What You Want to Say: Descriptive Words and Phrases Ruining a Perfectly Good Sentence: Misplaced Descriptions Keeping Your Audience Hanging: Danglers Avoiding Confusing Descriptions Finding the Subject When Words Are Missing from the Sentence

233 233 234 235 236 236 237 239 240 241 243

Chapter 20: Good, Better, Best: Comparisons Ending It with -Er or Giving It More Breaking the Rules: Irregular Comparisons Never More Perfect: Using Words That You Can't Compare Leaving Your Audience in Suspense: Incomplete Comparisons Joe DiMaggio Played Better Than Any Baseball Player: Illogical Comparisons Getting Two for the Price of One: Double Comparisons Chapter 21: Parallels Without the Lines Constructing Balanced Sentences Shifting Grammar into Gear: Avoiding Stalled Sentences Steering clear of a tense situation Keeping your voice steady Knowing the right person Seeing Double: Conjunction Pairs Avoiding Improper Comparisons

255 255 260 261 264

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245 247 247 249 252 253

266 268 269 269 273 273 274 276 277 281

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Part V: Rules £ You want to polish your skills in English as a second language. v0 You simply want to use better grammar.

How This Book Is Organized The first two parts of this book cover the basics, the minimum for reasonably correct English. Part III addresses what English teachers call mechanics — not the people in overalls who aim grease guns at your car, but the nuts and bolts of writing: punctuation and capital letters. Parts IV and V hit the finer (okay, pickier) points of grammar, the ones that separate regular people from Official Grammarians. If you understand the information in this section, you'll have a fine time finding mistakes in the daily paper. Here's a more specific guide to navigating English Grammar For Dummies.

Part 1: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence This part explains how to distinguish between the three Englishes — the breezy slang of friend-to-friend chat, the slightly more proper conversational language, and the I'm-on-my-best-behavior English. I explain the building blocks of a sentence, subjects and verbs, and show you how to put them together properly. In this part, I also provide a guide to the complete sentence, telling you what's grammatically legal and what's not. I also define objects and linking verb complements and show you how to use each effectively.

Part 11: Avoidina Common Errors In this part, I describe the remaining members of Team Grammar — the other parts of speech that can make or break your writing. I show you how to join short, choppy sentences into longer, more fluent ones without incurring a www.watchtvsitcoms.com visit from the grammar police. I also explain the two types of descriptive words and show you how the location of a description may alter the meaning

English Grammar For Dummies www.watchtvsitcoms.com of the sentence. Prepositions — the bane of many speakers of English as a second language — are in this part, too, as well as some tips for correct usage. Finally, in this part I tell you how to avoid mismatches between singular and plural words, by far the most common mistake in ordinary speech and writing. Part II also contains an explanation of pronoun gender. In addition, reading this section may also help you avoid sexist pronoun usage.

Part 111: No Garaqe, But Plenty of Mechanics If you've ever asked yourself whether you need a comma or if you've ever gotten lost in quotation marks and semicolons, Part III is for you. I explain all the rules that govern the use of the worst invention in the history of human communication: the apostrophe. I also show you how to quote speech or written material and where to place the most common (and the most commonly misused) punctuation mark, the comma. Lastly, I outline the ins and outs of capital letters: when you need them, when you don't, and when they're optional.

Part IV: Potishina Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar Part IV inches up on the pickiness scale — not all the way to Grammar Heaven, but at least as far as the gate. In this part, I tell you the difference between subject and object pronouns and pronouns of possession. (You need an exorcist.) I also go into detail on verb tenses, explaining which words to use for all sorts of situations. I show you how to distinguish between active and passive verbs and how to use each type properly. I illustrate some common errors of sentence structure and tackle comparisons — both how to form them and how to insure that your comparisons are logical and complete. Finally, I explain parallelism, an English teacher's term for balance and order in the sentence.

Part V: Rules Even \lour Great-Aunt's Grammar Teacher ùidn't Know Anyone who masters the material in Part V has the right to wear a bun and tsk-tsk a lot. This part covers the moods of verbs (ranging from grouchy to just plain irritable) and explains how to avoid double negative errors. Part V www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Introduction

also gives you the last word on pronouns, those little parts of speech that make everyone's life miserable. The dreaded who/whom section is in this part, as well as the explanation for all sorts of errors of pronoun reference. I explain subordinate clauses and verbals, which aren't exactly a hot stock tip, but a way to bring more variety and interest to your writing. I also give you the lowdown on the most obscure punctuation rules.

Part V\: The Part of Tens Part VI is the Part of Tens, which offers some quick tips for better grammar. Here I show you ten ways to fine-tune your proofreading skills. I also give you a quick summary of the top ten (some would call them the bottom ten) most common errors along with their corrections. Finally, I suggest ways (apart from English Grammar For Dummies) to improve your ear for proper English.

Icons Used in This Book Wherever you see this icon, you'll find helpful strategies for understanding the structure of the sentence or for choosing the correct word form.

Not every grammar trick has a built-in trap, but some do. This icon tells you how to avoid common mistakes as you unravel a sentence. Think you know how to find the subject in a sentence or identify a pronoun? Take the pop quizzes located throughout this book to find out what you know and what you may want to learn. Keep your eye out for these little devils; they point out the difference between easily confused words and show you how to make your sentence say what you want it to say. Here's where I get a little technical. If you master this information, you're guaranteed to impress your oldest neighbor and bore all of your friends.

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English Grammar For Dummies

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Where to Go from Here Now that you know what's what and where it is, it's time to get started. Before you do, however, one last word. Actually, two last words: Trust yourself. You already know a lot. If you're a native speaker, you've communicated in English all of your life, including the years before you set foot in school and saw your first textbook. If English is an acquired language for you, you've probably already learned a fair amount of vocabulary and grammar, even if you don't know the technical terms. For example, you already understand the difference between The dog bit Agnes. and Agnes bit the dog. You don't need me to tell you which sentence puts the dog in the doghouse and which sentence puts Agnes in a padded room. So take heart. Browse the table of contents, take a few pop quizzes, and dip a toe into the Sea of Grammar. The water is fine.

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Parti

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The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence The 5 t h Wave

By Rich Tennant

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In this part... o it's like, communication, y'know?

Can you make a statement like that without bringing the grammar police to your door? Maybe. Read Chapter 1 for a discussion of formal and informal language and a guide to when each is appropriate. The rest of this part of the book explains the building blocks of the sentence. Chapter 2 shows you how to find the verb, and Chapter 3 tells you what to do with it once you've got it. Chapter 4 provides a road map to the subject of the sentence and explains the basics of matching subjects and verbs properly. Chapter 5 is all about completeness — why the sentence needs it and how to make sure that the sentence gets it. In Chapter 6,1 explore the last building block of a sentence — the complement.

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Chapter 1

I Already Know How to Talk. Why Should I Study Grammar? In This Chapter Distinguishing between formal and informal English Understanding when following the rules is necessary Deciding when slang is appropriate Using computer grammar checkers properly

\M OU may be reading this book for any of a number of reasons. Perhaps ^ you're in the cafeteria, hoping to impress a nearby English teacher — the one who recently told you that handing in the fifteen essays you're missing will raise your grade all the way to F-. Or maybe you're reading this book on a bus, hoping that such a scholarly pursuit will convince the love of your life, who is sitting across from you, that you're a serious person and completely dateworthy. (Hey, it can happen.) Or you may be reading this book in the office lounge, assuming that your boss will glance over and decide that you want to improve yourself and therefore deserve a promotion. The most likely reason that you're reading this book, however, is that you want to learn better grammar. In this chapter I show you how the definition of better grammar changes according to your situation, purpose, and audience. I also tell you what your computer can and can't do to help you write proper English.

Litfinq Better With Better Grammar The curtain goes up, and you step on stage. One deep breath, and you're ready. Ladies and gentlemen, it's an honor to be speaking. . . to speak . . . to have spoken . . . to you this evening. You clear your throat and go on. / offer my best efforts to whomever. . . whoever the committee decides . . . will decide should receive the nomination. You begin to sweat, but you go on. Now if everyone will rise to his . .www.watchtvsitcoms.com . to their. . . to your feet, we'll sing the national anthem. Out of breath from sheer panic, you run off the stage and search frantically for a grammar book.

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Does this sound like you? Do your words turn into pretzels, twisting around themselves until you don't know why you ever thought to open your mouth (or your computer word processing program)? If so, you have lots of company. Nearly everyone in your class or office (or squadron or terrorist cell or whatever) has the same worries. Stuck in English class, you probably thought that grammar was invented just to give teachers something to test. But in fact grammar — or to be more precise, formal grammar lessons — exists to help you express yourself clearly. Without a thorough knowledge of grammar, a little thread of doubt will weave its way across your speech and writing. Part of your mind will string words together, and another part will ask, Is that correct? Inevitably, the doubts will show. You should also learn grammar because, rightly or wrongly, your audience or readers will judge you by the words you use and the way you put them together. Ten minutes at the movies will show you the truth of this statement. Listen to the speech of the people on the screen. An uneducated character sounds different from someone with five diplomas on the wall. The dialogue reflects reality: Educated people follow certain rules when they speak and write. If you want to present yourself as an educated person, you have to follow those rules also.

Deciding Which Grammar to Learn I can hear the groan already. Which grammar? You mean there's more than one? Yes, there are actually several different types of grammar, including historical (how language has changed through the centuries) and comparative (comparing languages). Don't despair; in English Grammar For Dummies, I deal with only two — the two you have to know in order to improve your speech and writing. Descriptive grammar gives names to things — the parts of speech and parts of a sentence. When you learn descriptive grammar, you understand what every word is (its part of speech) and what every word does (its function in the sentence). If you're not careful, descriptive grammar can go overboard fast, and you end up saying things like "balloon" is the object of the gerund, in a gerund phrase that is acting as the predicate nominative of the linking verb "appear. " Never fear: I wouldn't dream of inflicting that level of terminology on you. However, there is one important reason to learn some grammar terms — to understand why a particular word or phrase is correct or incorrect. Functional grammar makes up the bulk of English Grammar For Dummies. Functional grammar tells you how words behave when they are doing their jobs properly. Functional grammar guides you to the right expression — the www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 1:1 Already Know How to Talk. Why Should I Study Grammar? www.watchtvsitcoms.com one that fits what you're trying to say — by insuring that the sentence is put together correctly. When you're agonizing over whether to say / or me, you're actually solving a problem of functional grammar. So here's the formula for success: A little descriptive grammar plus a lot of functional grammar equals better grammar overall.

Distinguishing between the Three Englishes Better grammar sounds like a great idea, but better is tough to pin down. Why? Because the language of choice depends on your situation. Here's what I mean. Imagine that you're hungry. What do you say? Wanna get something to eat? Do you feel like getting a sandwich? Will you accompany me to the dining room? These three statements illustrate the three Englishes of everyday life. I call them friendspeak, conversational English, and formal English. Before you choose, you need to know where you are and what's going on. Most important, you need to know your audience.

What is grammar anyway? In the Middle Ages, grammar meant the study rules, grammar also means a set of standards of Latin, because Latin was the language of that you have to follow in order to speak and choice for educated people. In fact, grammar write correctly. This set of standards is also was so closely associated with Latin that the called usage, as in standardand non-standard word was also used to refer to any kind of learn- usage. Standard usage is the one that earns an ing. (You may have heard people from earlier A grade. It is the commonly accepted, correct generations — your grandparents, perhaps — patterns of speech and writing that mark an talk about their grammar school, not their ele- educated person in our society, You'll find stanmentary school. The term grammar school is a dard usage in government documents, in newsleftover from the old days. The very old days.) papers and magazines, and in textbooks. u 4.u J • *u * A x. Non-standard usage draws red ink from a However, these day grammar « the study o t e a c h e r . s J cuts language, specifically, how put lanmiano cnofiTiAolh/ hn\«i words mmrrio are urn nut ** butter. It includes slang, dialect, and just plain together to create meaning. Because of all of bad grammar. those obsessive English teachers andwww.watchtvsitcoms.com their r

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Wanna yet something to eat) Friendspeak Friendspeak is informal and filled with slang. Its sentence structure breaks all the rules that English teachers love. It's the language of / know you and you know me and we can relax together. In friendspeak the speakers are on the same level. They have nothing to prove to each other, and they're comfortable with each other's mistakes. In fact, they make some mistakes on purpose, just to distinguish their personal conversation from what they say on other occasions. Here's a conversation in friendspeak: Me and him are going to the gym. Wanna come? He's like, I did 60 pushups, and I go like, no way. I mean, what's he think? We're stupid or something? Sixty? More like one. Yeah, I know. In his dreams he did 60. I doubt that the preceding conversation makes perfect sense to many people, but the participants understand it quite well. Because they both know the whole situation (the guy they're talking about gets muscle cramps after .4 seconds of exercise), they can talk in shorthand. I don't deal with friendspeak in this book. You already know it. In fact, you've probably created a version of it with your best buds.

Do you feet tike qettinq a sandwich) Conversational Enqtish A step up from friendspeak is conversational English. Although not quite friendspeak, conversational English includes some friendliness. Conversational English doesn't stray too far from your English class rules, but it does break some. For example, it says that you can relax, but not completely, and it's the tone of most everyday speech, especially between equals. Conversational English is — no shock here — usually for conversations, not for writing. Specifically, conversational English is appropriate in these situations:

u* Chats with family members, neighbors, acquaintances i^ Informal conversations with teachers and co-workers W Friendly conversations (if there are any) with supervisors u* Notes and e-mails to friends v* Comments in Internet chat rooms, bulletin boards, and so on v* Friendly letters to relatives

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Chapter 1:1 Already Know How to Talk. Why Should I Study Grammar? www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Phat grammar Psst! Want to be in the in-crowd? Easy. Just writing and speaking is communication. Also, create an out-crowd and you're all set. How do because slang changes so quickly, even a short you create an out-crowd? Manufacture a spe- time after you've written something, the meancial language (slang) with your friends that no ing may be obscure. Instead of cutting-edge, one else understands, at least until the media you sound dated. picks it up. You and your pals are on the inside, .... . „ .. . , , ., ; „• u * u 1 *u * n When you talk or write in slang, you also risk talking about a baa song that everyone likes ,. , . ,, , . 3 v . . ,.. ,» ri • *u * sounding uneducated. In fact, sometimes break{baa means good). Everyone else is on the out.. 3 , . . .. .. , . . . .. . . . .' ... , - , , - , ing the usual rules is the point of slang. In general, a a side, wondering how to get the 411 informa. .. . ;. . , , .. ; «. u I •*• o you should make sure that your readers know tion). Shoud you use sang in your writing? ' A . . ... • u* *_* Conversational has a-,breezy Letters are in you contrac. y. r aEnglish .. thatsound. you understand the dropped rules before start D / .. tions (don't, would've, andorso forth). Probab y not, un ess you reI'll, sending an e-mail . ,. You ^. also ... drop . words ... (Got . a'.match? .. See you later. Be there soon, and so on). In written form, conversational , * * j t A TU i i breaking them (the rules, not the readers) safely, T the punctuation a persona English note to relaxes a good friend. The goa ofrules too.M Sentences run together, dashes ' connect all sorts of things, and half sentences pop up regularly. I'm using conversational English to write this book because I'm pretending that I'm chatting with you, the reader, not teaching grammar in a classroom situation.

Witt you accompany me to the dininq voomï format English You're now at the pickiest end of the language spectrum: formal, grammatically correct speech and writing. Formal English displays the fact that you have an advanced vocabulary and a knowledge of etiquette. You may use formal English when you have less power, importance, and/or status than the other person in the conversation. Formal English shows that you've trotted out your best behavior in his or her honor. You may also speak or write in formal English when you have more power, importance, and/or status than the other person. The goal of using formal English is to impress, to create a tone of dignity, or to provide a suitable role model for someone who is still learning. Situations that call for formal English include: i^ Business letters (from or between businesses as well as from individuals to businesses) v0 Letters to government officials

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v* Office memos

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

v0 Reports v* Homework J> Notes or letters to teachers v0 Speeches, presentations, oral reports *> Important conversations (for example, job interviews, college interviews, parole hearings, congressional inquiries, inquisitions, sessions with the principal in which you explain that unfortunate incident with the stapler, and so on) Think of formal English as a business suit. If you're in a situation where you want to look your best, you're also in a situation where your words matter. In business, homework, or any situation in which you're being judged, use formal English.

Using the Right English at the Riqht lime

«O.UIZ

Which type of English do you speak? Friendspeak, conversational English, or formal English? Probably all of them. (See preceding section for more information.) If you're like most people, you switch from one to another without thinking, dozens of times each day. Chances are, the third type of English — formal English — is the one that gives you the most trouble. In fact, it's probably why you bought this book. (Okay, there is one more possibility that I haven't mentioned yet. Maybe your nerdy uncle, the one with ink stains on his nose, gave English Grammar For Dummies to you for Arbor Day and you're stuck with it. But you're not playing a heavy-metal CD at high volume and surfing the Internet, so you must be reading the book. Therefore, you've at least acknowledged that you have something to think about, and I'm betting that it's formal English.) All the grammar lessons in this book deal with formal English, because that's where the problems are fiercest and the rewards for knowledge are greatest. Which is correct? A. Hi, Ms. Sharkface! What's up? Here's the 411.1 didn't do no homework last night — too much going on. See ya! Love, Legghorn B. Dear Ms. Sharkface, Just a note to let you know that I've got no homework today. Had a lot to do last night! I'll explain later! www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 1:1 Already Know How to Talk. Why Should I Study Grammar? www.watchtvsitcoms.com Your friend, Legghorn C. Dear Ms. Sharkface: I was not able to do my homework last night because of other pressing duties. I will speak with you about this matter later. Sincerely, Legghorn Answer: The correct answer depends upon a few factors. How willing are you to be stuck in the corner of the classroom for the rest of the year? If your answer is very willing, send note A, which is written in friendspeak. (By the way, the 411 is slang for "information.") Does your teacher come to school in jeans and sneakers? Does he or she have the self-image of a 1960s hippie? If so, note B is acceptable. Note B is written in conversational English. Is your teacher prim and proper, expecting you to follow the Rules? If so, note C, which is written in formal English, is your best bet.

ReiuAnq on Computet Grammar Checkers Is Not Enough Your best friend — the one who's greasing the steps to the cafeteria while you're reading English Grammar For Dummies — may tell you that learning proper grammar in the third millennium is irrelevant because computer grammar checkers make human knowledge obsolete. Your friend is wrong about the grammar programs, and the grease is a very bad idea also. It is comforting to think that a little green or red line will tell you when you've made an error and that a quick mouse-click will show you the path to perfection. Comforting, but unreal. English has a half million words, and you can arrange those words a couple of gazillion ways. No program can catch all of your mistakes, and most programs identify errors that aren't actually wrong. Spelling is also a problem. Every time I type verbal, the computer squawks. But verbal — a grammar term meaning a word that comes from a verb but does not function as a verb — is in the dictionary. Nor can the computer tell the difference between hom*onyms — words that sound alike but have different meanings and spelling. For example, if I type www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Aren't you glad you don't have to do this? Imagine that you're infifthgrade in a dusty classroom, counting the number of nano-seconds until recess. Ms. Sharkface assigns yet another page of unbelievably boring work. Before you pass out (of the room or of reality, depending upon the length of your lesson), you take out a ruler. Yes, a ruler, and no, it's not math class. Ms. Sharkface is one of a long line of English teachers who teach sentence structure with diagramming.

function of each word and how the word relates to others in the sentence. The theory is correct; diagramming actually does help you see the sentence. Unfortunately, it also forces you to spend a great deal of time drawing little lines and deciding non-language-related issues, such as whether a particular section should be straight or tilted. Just to show you how lucky you are that you don't have to diagram, here's a sentence and its diagram.

Diagramming is still in use, but its heyday has Sentence: When Lochness is pooped and long since passed. The theory of diagramming yearns for vacation, he goes to spycamp.com, if is that a picture helps students understand the he can pay for it.

goes

| i

Lochness

/ / /

spycamp.com

is pooped /*

1 - ' -\ C . eCD

yearns \

— vacation

r -

can pay

X ' it

Eye through the bawl at hymn, but it went threw the window pain instead. the computer underlines nothing. However, I was actually trying to say I threw the ball at him, but it went through the window pane instead. In short, the computer knows some grammar and spelling, but you have to www.watchtvsitcoms.com know the rest.

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Chapter 2

Verbs: The Heart of the Sentence In This Chapter Knowing the difference between linking verbs and action verbs Finding the verb Using helping verbs correctly and understanding how infinitives differ from verbs

hink about a sentence this way: A sentence is a flatbed truck. You pile all of your ideas on the truck, and the truck takes the meaning to your audience (your reader or your listener). The verb of the sentence is a set of tires for the truck. Without the verb, you may get your point across, but you're going to have a bumpy ride. In other words, every sentence needs a verb. The verb is what the sentence rests on and what gives the sentence movement. Verbs are the heart of the sentence because you start with the verb when you want to do anything to your sentence — including correct it. And as the old song goes, "you gotta have heart." Verbs come in all shapes and sizes: linking and action; helping verb and main verb, regular and irregular; singular and plural; and present, past, and future. In this chapter, I unravel the first two categories — linking and action, helping verb and main verb — and show you how to choose the right verb for each sentence.

Linking Verbs: The Giant Equal Siqn Linking verbs are also called being verbs because they express states of being — what is, will be, or was. Here's where algebra intersects with English. You can think of linking verbs as giant equal signs plopped into the middle of your sentence. For example, you can think of the sentence

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Legghorn's uncle is a cannibal with a taste for finger food, as Legghorn's uncle = a cannibal with a taste for finger food. Or, in shortened form, Legghorn's uncle = a cannibal Just as in an algebra equation, the word is links two ideas and says that they are the same. Thus, is is a linking verb. Here are more linking verbs: Lulu will be angry when she hears about the missing bronze tooth. Lulu = angry (will be is a linking verb) Lochness was the last surfer to leave the water when the tidal wave approached. Lochness = last surfer (was is a linking verb) Even in the dark, Lucrezia's red hair and orange eyes were completely visible. hair and eyes = visible (were is a linking verb) Ludwig has been depressed ever since the fall of the House of Usher. Ludwig = depressed (has been is a linking verb) Earwigs are a constant problem for that pink elephant. Earwigs = problem (are is a linking verb) çjf.BEir È/^^^t f^ S ^ ] \ j y

You may wonder (okay, only if you're having a no-news day) whether become linking verb. Grammarians argue this point often (maybe because they tend to have no-news lives). The problem is that become is part being, part action. For example:

is a

Zud's single eyebrow becomes obvious only when he steps into the light. On the one hand, you may say that eyebrow = obvious but you may also say that the sentence shows action. Zud's single eyebrow is hidden and then exposed. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 2: Verbs: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

The Heart of the Sentence

So what is become — an action or being? A little of each. In the real world, the answer doesn't matter unless you're completing the sentence with a pronoun. (See "Placing the Proper Pronoun in the Proper Place," later in this chapter.) Frankly, I can't think of any sentence with become as a verb that ends with a pronoun. Well, except one: "Moonlight becomes you," declared Legghorn as he strummed a guitar under Lola's window. However, in this sentence the verb means to look attractive on, to suit. Therefore, becomes in this sample sentence is definitely an action verb.

Being or (inking — What's in a name) In the preceding section, you may have noticed that all the linking verbs in the sample sentences are forms of the verb to be, which is (surprise, surprise) how they got the name being verbs. When I was a kid (sometime before they invented the steam engine), these verbs were called copulative, from a root word meaning "join." However, copulative is out of style with English teachers these days (perhaps because you can also use the root for words referring to sex). I prefer the term linking because some equal-sign verbs are not forms of the verb to be. Check out these examples: With his foot-long fingernails and sly smile, Lochinvar seemed threatening. Lochinvar = threatening (seemed is a linking verb) A jail sentence for the unauthorized use of a comma appears harsh, jail sentence = harsh (appears is a linking verb in this sentence) The penalty for making a grammar error remains severe, penalty = severe (remains is a linking verb in this sentence) Lochness stays silent whenever monsters are mentioned. Lochness = silent (stays is a linking verb in this sentence) Seemed, appears, remains, and stays are similar to forms of the verb to be in that they express states of being. They simply add shades of meaning to the basic concept. You may, for example, say that With his foot-long fingernails and sly smile, Lochinvar was threatening. But now the statement is more definite. Seemed leaves room for doubt. Similarly, remains (in the third sample sentence) adds a time dimension to www.watchtvsitcoms.com the basic expression of being. The sentence implies that the penalty was and still is severe.

P a r t , : T h e Parts

°* Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

No matter how you name it, any verb that places an equal sign in the sentence is a being, linking, or copulative verb.

Satforinq sensory Verbs Sensory verbs — verbs that express information you receive through the senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and so forth — may also be linking verbs: Two minutes after shaving, all of Legghorn's three chins feel scratchy, all of Legghorn's three chins = scratchy (feel is a linking verb) Lola's piano solo sounds horrible, like barking inside a paint can. piano = horrible (sounds is a linking verb) The ten-year-old lasagna in your refrigerator smells disgusting. lasagna = disgusting (smells is a linking verb) The ten-year-old lasagna in your refrigerator also looks disgusting, lasagna = disgusting (looks is a linking verb) Needless to say, the ten-year-old lasagna in your refrigerator tastes great! lasagna = great (tastes is a linking verb) ojaNG.'

Some verbs, especially those that refer to the five senses, may be linking verbs, but only if they act as an equal sign in the sentence. If they aren't equating two ideas, they aren't linking verbs. In the preceding example sentence about Legghorn's chins, feel is a linking verb. Here's a different sentence with the same verb: With their delicate fingers, Lulu and Lochness feel Legghorn's chins. In this sentence, feel is not a linking verb because you're not saying that Lulu and Lochness = chins.

>&uiz

Instead, you're saying that Lulu and Lochness don't believe that Legghorn shaved, so they went stubble hunting. Which sentence has a linking verb? A. That annoying new clock sounds the hour with a recorded cannon shot. B. That annoyingwww.watchtvsitcoms.com new clock sounds extremely loud at four o'clock in the morning.

Chapter 2: Verbs: The Heart of the Sentence

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Answer: Sentence B has the linking verb. In sentence B, clock = extremely loud. In sentence A, the clock is doing something — sounding the hour — not being. (It's also waking up the whole neighborhood, but that idea isn't in the sentence.) Try another. Which sentence has a linking verb? A. Ludwig stays single only for very short periods of time. B. Stay in the yard, Fido, or I'll cut your dog-biscuit ration in half! Answer: Sentence A has the linking verb. In sentence A, Ludwig = single (at least for the moment — he's asking Ludmilla to marry him as you read this sentence). In sentence B, Fido is being told to do something — to stay in the backyard — clearly an action. Linking verbs connect the subject and the subject complement. For more on complements, see Chapter 6. For the truly terminology-obsessed only: two other names for subject complements are predicate nominative and predicate adjective. Here is a list of the most common linking verbs: u* Forms of to be: am, are, is, was, were, will be, shall be, has been, have been, had been, could be, should be, would be, might have been, could have been, should have been, shall have been, will have been, must have been, must be. ** Sensory verbs: look, sound, taste, smell, feel. W Words that express shades of meaning in reference to a state of being: appear, seem, grow, remain, stay.

Completing Lïnkïnq Verb Sentences Correctly A linking verb begins a thought, but it needs another word to complete the thought. Unless all your friends have ESP (extrasensory perception), you can't walk around saying things like President Murgatroyd is or The best day for the party will be www.watchtvsitcoms.com and expect people to know what you mean.

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

&**

Due to a grammar error The picnic has been cancelled due to?because of? the arrival of killer sparrows from their Southern nesting grounds. Okay, which one is correct— due toor because of? The answer is because of. According to a rule that people ignore more and more every day: V Due to describes nouns or pronouns. It may follow a linking verb if it gives information about the subject. (See "Linking Verbs: The Giant Equal Sign," earlier in the chapter, for more information.)

Lola's mania for fashion is due to her deprived upbringing in an all-polyester household. Due to her deprived upbringing in an all-polyester household describes mania. Because of and on account of describe an action, usually answering the question why. An example: The bubble-gum gun that Ratrug likes to carry is no longer being manufactured because of protests from the dental association.

w Because of is a description of an action. (See "Lights! Camera! Action Verb!" later in Why is the gun no longer being manufactured? this chapter for information on action verbs.) Because of protests from the dental association. The semi-logical reasoning that underlies this In real life (that is to say, in everyday conversarule draws you deep into grammatical trivia, so tional English), due to and because of are interkeep reading only if you're daring (or bored). changeable. When you need your most formal, Due to, by definition, means "owing to." Owing most correct language, be careful with this pair! is an adjective, and an adjective is a description One easy solution (easier than remembering of nouns and pronouns. In a linking verb senwhich phrase is which) is to avoid them entirely tence, the subject (always a noun or pronoun) and simply add because with a subject-verb pair. may be linked to a description following the verb. An example:

You have three possible completions for a linking verb. One is a description: After running 15 miles in high heels, Ludmilla's thigh muscles are tired. thigh muscles = tired (tired is a description, an adjective in grammatical terms) Ludmilla's high heels are stunning, especially when they land on your foot, high heels = stunning (stunning is a description, also called an adjective) Oscar's foot, wounded by Ludmilla's heels, seems particularly painful. foot = painful (painful is a description, an adjective) www.watchtvsitcoms.com Lola's solution, to staple Oscar's toes together, is not very helpful.

Chapter 2: Verbs: The Heart of the Sentence

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solution = helpful (helpful is a description, an adjective. The other descriptive words, not and very, describe helpful, not solution.) You may also complete a linking verb equation with a person, place, or thing — a noun, in grammatical terms. Here are some examples: The most important part of a balanced diet is popcorn. part of a balanced diet = popcorn (popcorn is a thing, and therefore a noun) Lulu will be president of the Popcorn Club someday. Lulu = president (president is a noun) Legghorn's nutritional consultant has always been a complete fraud. Legghorn's nutritional consultant = fraud (fraud is a noun) Similarly, sometimes you complete a linking verb sentence with a pronoun, a word that substitutes for the name of a person, place, or thing. For example: The winner of the all-state spitball contest is you! winner = you (you is a substitute for the name of the winner, and therefore a pronoun) Whoever put glue in the teapot is someone with a very bad sense of humor. Whoever put glue in the teapot = someone (someone is a substitute for the name of the unknown prankster and therefore a pronoun) You can't do much wrong when you complete linking verb sentences with descriptions or with nouns. However, you can do a lot wrong when you complete a linking verb sentence with a pronoun. In the next section, I show you how to avoid common linking verb-pronoun errors.

Placing the Proper Pronoun in the Proper Place How do you choose the correct pronoun for a sentence with a linking verb? Think of a linking verb sentence as reversible. That is, the pronoun you put after a linking verb should be the same kind of pronoun that you put before a linking verb. First, however, I give you an example with a noun, where you can't make a mistake. Read these sentence pairs: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Ruggles is a resident of Red Gap. A resident of Red Gap is Ruggles. Lulu was a resident of Beige Gap. A resident of Beige Gap was Lulu. Both sentences in each pair mean the same thing, and both are correct. Now look at pronouns: The winner of the election is him! Him is the winner of the election! Uh oh. Something's wrong. You don't say him is, unless you're in an old Tarzan movie. You say he is. Because you have a linking verb (is), you must put the same word after the linking verb that you would put before the linking verb. Try it again: The winner of the election is he! He is the winner of the election! Now you've got the correct ending for your sentence. If you pay attention to linking verbs, you'll choose the right pronouns for your sentence. Subject pronouns are /, you, he, she, it, we, they, who, and whoever. Pronouns that are not allowed to be subjects include me, him, her, us, them, whom, and whomever. ^VNG/

Remember that in the previous examples, I discuss formal English, not conversational English. In conversational English, this exchange is okay: Who's there? It is me. or Who's there? It's me. In formal English, the exchange goes like this: Who is there? It is I. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 2: Verbs: The Heart of the Sentence

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Because of the linking verb is, you want the same kind of pronoun before and after the linking verb. You can't start a sentence with me (unless, as I said earlier, you're in a Tarzan movie). But you can start a sentence with /. Now you've probably, with your sharp eyes, found a flaw here. You can't reverse the last reply and say I is it. / takes a different verb — am. Both is and am are forms of the verb to be — one of the most peculiar creations in the entire language. So yes, you sometimes have to adjust the verb when you reverse a sentence with a form of to be in it. But the idea is the same; /can be a subject. Me can't. Pronouns are divided into groups called cases. One group, the nominative or subject case, includes all the pronouns that may be subjects. The pronoun that follows the linking verb should also be in nominative, or subject, case. Another group of pronouns, those in objective case, acts as objects. Avoid object pronouns after linking verbs. These are a few examples of terminology designed by grammarians with nothing better to do. (For more information on pronoun case, see Chapter 17.)

Lights! Camera! Action Verb! Linking verbs are important, but unless you're in some sort of hippie commune left over from the Sixties, you just can't sit around being all the time. You have to do something. It is here that action verbs come into the picture. Everything that is not being is action, at least in the verb world. Unlike the giant equal sign associated with linking verbs (see "Linking Verbs: The Giant Equal Sign," earlier in the chapter), something happens with an action verb: Drusilla slapped the offending pig right on the snout. {Slapped is an action verb.) Wynfred will steal third base as soon as his sneezing fit ends. (Will steal and ends are action verbs.) According to the teacher, Ruggles has shot at least 16 spitballs in the last ten minutes. (Has shot is an action verb.)

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You can define action verbs as all the verbs that don't express being. Don't let the name action fool you. Some action verbs aren't particularly energetic: think, sit, stay, have, sleep, dream, and so forth. Besides describing my ideal vacation, these words are also action verbs! Think of the definition this way: if the verb is not a giant equal sign (a linking verb), it's an action verb. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Getting by With a Little Help from My Verbs You've probably noticed that some of the verbs I've identified throughout this chapter are single words and others are made up of several words. The extra words are called helping verbs. They don't carry out the trash or dust the living room, but they do help the main verb express meaning, usually changing the time, or tense, of the action. (For more on tense, see Chapter 3.) Here are some sentences with helping verbs: Allergia will have sung five arias from that opera by the time her recorder runs out of tape and her listeners run out of patience. (In will have sung, sung is the main verb; will and have are helping verbs; runs and run are both main verbs without helping verbs.) Legghorn should have refused to play the part of the villain, but his ego simply would not be denied. (In should have refused, refused is the main verb; should and have are helping verbs; in would be denied, denied is the main verb; would and be are helping verbs.) Distinguishing between helping verbs and main verbs isn't particularly important, as long as you get the whole thing when you're identifying the verb in a sentence. If you find only part of the verb, you may confuse action verbs with linking verbs. You want to keep these two types of verbs straight when you choose an ending for your sentence, as I explain in "Placing the Proper Pronoun in the Proper Place," earlier in the chapter. To decide whether you have an action verb or a linking verb, look at the main verb, not at the helping verbs. If the main verb expresses action, the whole verb is action, even if one of the helpers is a form of to be. For example: is going will be sung has been painted should be strangled are all action verbs, not linking verbs, because going, sung, painted, and strangled express action.

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Chapter 2: Verbs: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

The Heart of the Sentence

Pop the Question: Locating the Verb A scientific study by a blue-ribbon panel of experts found that 90 percent of all the errors in a sentence occurred because the verb was misidentified. Okay, there was no study. I made it up! But it is true that when you try to crack a sentence, you should always start by identifying the verb. To find the verb, read the sentence and ask two questions: v0 What's happening? ^ What is? (or, What word is a "giant equal sign"?)

^i^, Verb

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If you get an answer to the first question, you have an action verb. If you get an answer to the second question, you have a linking verb. For example, in the sentence Archie flew around the room and then swooped into his cage for a birdseed snack. you ask "What's happening?" and your answer is flew and swooped. Flew and swooped are action verbs. If you ask, "What is?" you get no answer, because there's no linking verb in the sentence. Try another: Ludmilla's new tattoo will be larger than her previous fifteen tattoos. What's happening? Nothing. You have no action verb. What is? Will be. Will be is a linking verb. www.watchtvsitcoms.com Pop the question and find the verbs in the following sentences. For extra credit, identify the verbs as action or linking.

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

A. Ludmilla scratched the cat almost as hard as the cat had scratched her. B. After months of up and down motion, Lester is taking the elevator sideways, just for a change of pace. C. The twisted frown on Legghorn's face seems strange because of the joyful background music. Answers: A. scratched is an action verb, had scratched is an action verb. B. is taking is an action verb. C. seems is a linking verb. Strictly speaking, the term verb is the name of the part of speech. In the sentence, the action or being is expressed by the predicate. (The subject is who or what you're talking about and the predicate is what you're saying about the subject.) The complete predicate is everything that you say about the subject. The simple predicate is the plain old verb. I've never been able to figure out why anyone would want to identify the complete predicate. The simple predicate, yes, but the simple predicate is the same as the verb, so you may as well call it the verb and be done with it.

Forqet Jo Be or Not To Be: Infinitives Are Not Verbs Here and there in this chapter I say "all forms of the verb to be." But to be is not actually a verb. In fact, it's an infinitive. An infinitive is to + a verb (yet another mixing of math and English). Here are some examples: to laugh to sing to burp to write to be Infinitives are the great-grandparents of verb families. Everything in the verb family descends from the infinitive, but like the retired, elderly relative who sits on the porch all day, infinitives don't perform any verb jobs in a sentence. In fact, if they do show up in the sentence, they take on a different job. (Sort of like a retired postmaster who refuses to carry a letter anywhere but plays racquetball all afternoon.) Infinitives may act as subjects or objects. They may also describe other words in the sentence. I discuss infinitives in more detail in Chapter 24. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 2: Verbs: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

The Heart of the Sentence

The way it's suppose to be? Do these sentences look familiar? Lola was suppose to take out the garbage, but she refused to do so, saying that garbage removal was not part of her creative development. Legghorn use to take out the trash, but after that unfortunate encounter with a raccoon and an empty potato chip bag, he is reluctant to venture near the cans. Lochness is suppose to do all kinds of things, but of course he never does anything he is suppose to do. If these sentences look familiar, look again. Each one is wrong. Check out the italicized verbs: was suppose, use, and is suppose. All represent what people hear but not what the

speaker is actually trying to say. The correct words to use in these instances are supposed and used—past tense forms. Here are the correct sentences: Lola was supposed to take out the garbage, but she refused to do so, saying that garbage removal was not part of her creative development Legghorn used to take out the trash, but after that unfortunate encounter with a raccoon and an empty potato chip bag, he is reluctant to venture near the cans. Lochness is supposed to do all kinds of things, but of course he never does anything he is supposedto do.

The most important thing to know about infinitives is this: When you pop the question to find the verb, don't choose an infinitive as your answer. If you do, you'll miss the real verb or verbs in the sentence. Other than that, forget about infinitives! Okay, you can't forget about infinitives completely. Here's something else you should know about infinitives in formal English: Don't split them in half. For example, you commonly see sentences like the following: Mudbud vowed to really study if he ever got the chance to take the flight instructor exam again. This example is common, but incorrect. Grammatically, to study is a unit — one infinitive. You're not supposed to separate its two halves. Now that you know this rule, read the paper. Everybody splits infinitives, even the grayest, dullest papers with no comics whatsoever. So you have two choices. You can split infinitives all you want, or you can follow the rule and feel totally superior to the professional journalists. The choice is yours. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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As with the simple present tense, the present perfect tense takes two forms. One is called present perfect, and the other present perfect progressive. Shades of difference in meaning exist between the two — the progressive is a little more immediate — but nothing you need to worry about. Which one is correct? A. Bertha moved into Bubba's building in 1973 and lived there ever since. B. Bertha has moved into Bubba's building in 1973 and lived there ever since. C. Bertha moved into Bubba's building in 1973 and has lived there ever since.

Some tense pairs Helping verbs, as well as main verbs, have tenses. Some of the most common pairs are can/couldand may/might The first verb in each pair is in present tense; the second is in past tense. If you can imagine, you are speaking about the present. If you coy/rfimagine,you are speaking about the past. More and more people interchange these helping verbs at random, but technically, the verbs do express time. So remember:

Now you may talk about how much you hate writing school reports. Yesterday you mighthave gone to the store if the sky hadn't dumped a foot of snow on your head. After six years of lessons, you can finally dance a mean tango. No one ever danced as well as Fred Astaire could m those old movie musicals.

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Answer: Sentence C is correct. You cannot use the simple past, as in sentence A, because a connection to the present exists (the fact that Bertha still lives in Bubba's building). Sentence B is wrong because the moving isn't connected to the present; it's over and done with. So you can't use present perfect for the move. Sentence C has the right combination — the move, now over, should be expressed in simple past. The event that began in the past and is still going on (Bertha's living in the building) needs present perfect tense.

Forming Present and Past Participles of Regular Verbs I used to tell my classes that my gray hair came from my struggles with participles, but I was just trying to scare them into doing their grammar homework. Participles are not very mysterious; as you may guess from the spelling, a participle is simply a part of the verb. Each verb has two participles — a present participle and a past participle. You may have noticed the present participle in the present progressive tenses. The present participle is the ing form of the verb. The past participle helps form the present perfect tense since this tense spans both the past and present. Regular past participles are formed by adding ed to the verb. Table 3-1 shows a selection of regular participles.

Table 3-1

Examples of Regular Participles

Verb

Present Participle

Past Participle

ask

asking

asked

beg

begging

begged

call

calling

called

dally

dallying

dallied

empty

emptying

emptied

fill

filling

filled

grease

greasing

greased

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Chapter 3: Relax! www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Understanding Verb Tense

Just to Make Things More difficult: Irregular Verbs When you're out bargain hunting, irregulars look good. Just a tiny difference between an irregular shirt and a regular one, and the irregular one costs less. Unfortunately, an irregular is not a bargain in the grammar market. It's just a pain. In this section, I break down the irregulars into two parts. The first part is the mother of all irregular verbs, to be. Second is a list of irregular past tense forms and past participles.

"To be or not to be" is a complete pain Possibly the weirdest verb in the English language, the verb to be, changes more frequently than any other. Here it is, tense by tense. Present Tense

Singular

Plural

I am

we are

you are

he, she, it is

they are

Note that the singular forms are in the first column and plural forms are in the second column. Singulars are for one person or thing and plurals for more than one. "You" is listed twice because it may refer to one person or to a group. (Just one more bit of illogic in the language.) Past Tense

Singular

Plural

I was

we were

you were

he, she, it was

they were

Future Tense

Singular

Plural

I will be

we will be

you will be

he, she, it will be

they will be

Present Perfect

Singular

Plural

I have been

we have been

you have been

he, she, it has been

you have been they have been

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Past Perfect I had been

Singular we had been

Plural you had been

you had been

he, she, it had been

they had been

Future Perfect

Singular

Plural

I will have been

we will have been

you will have been

he, she, it will have been

they will have been

breautar past and past participles Are you having fun yet? Now the true joy begins. Dozens and dozens of English verbs have irregular past tense forms, as well as irregular past participles. (The present participles, except for the occasional change from the letter y to the letter /, are fairly straightforward. Just add ing.~) I won't list all the irregular verbs here, just a few you may find useful in everyday writing. If you have questions about a particular verb, check your dictionary. In Table 3-2, the first column is the infinitive form of the verb. (The infinitive is the "to + verb" form — to laugh, to cry, to learn grammar, and so on.) The second column is the simple past tense. The third column is the past participle, which is combined with has (singular) or have (plural) to form the present perfect tense. The past participle is also used with had to form the past perfect tense.

Table 3-2

Examples of Irregular Participles

Verb

Past

Past Participle

begin

began

begun

bite

bit

bitten

break

broke

broken

bring

brought

catch

caught

choose

chose

chosen

come

came

come

did

done

drive

drove

driven

eat

ate

eaten

fall

fell www.watchtvsitcoms.com

fallen

Chapter 3: Relax! Understanding www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Verb

Past

Past Participle

fly

flew

flown

get

got

got or gotten

went

gone

know

knew

known

lead

led

lend

lent

lie

lay

lain

lose

lost

ride

rode

ridden

ring

rang

rung

rise

rose

risen

run

ran

run

say

said

see

saw

seen

shake

shook

shaken

sing

sang

sung

sink

sank or sunk

sunk

sit

sat

speak

spoke

spoken

steal

stole

stolen

take

took

taken

write

wrote

written

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Verb Tense

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Who made these rules anyway? Old guys in England? The next time you try to decide whether you had run or had ran home, thank the Angles and the Saxons. Those old guys were members of Germanic tribes who invaded England about 1500 years ago. Their languages blended into Anglo-Saxon, which came to be called Englisc. Nowadays it's called "Old English." Old English lasted about 400 years; this English would look and sound like a foreign language to English-speakers today. Although it's gone, Old English isn't forgotten. Remnants remain in modern speech. You can thank (or blame) the Anglo-Saxons for most of the irregular verbs, including the fact that you say ran instead of runned. In the Middle English period (1100 to about 1450) England was speckled with local dialects, each with its own vocabulary and sentence structure. Nobody studied grammar in school, and nobody worried about what was correct or incorrect. (There were a few more important items on the agenda, including starvation and the bubonic plague.) In the fifteenth century the printing press was invented and the era of Modern English began. At this time, folks were more interested in

learning to read and also more interested in writing for publication. But writers faced a new problem. Sending one's words to a different part of the country might mean sending them off to someone whose vocabulary or sentence structure was different. Not to mention the fact that spelling was all over the place! Suddenly, rules seemed like a good idea. London was the center of government and economic life — and also the center of printing. So what the London printers decided was right soon became right. However, not until the eighteenth century did the rules realty become set Printers, in charge of turning handwriting into type, were guided by "printers' bibles," also known as the rules. Schoolmasters tried to whip the English language into shape by writing the rules down. But they grafted Latin concepts onto English, and it wasn't always a good fit. In fact, some of the loonier rules of English grammar come from this mismatch. In Latin, for example, you can't split an infinitive because an infinitive is a single word. In English, infinitives are formed with two words (to plus a verb, as in to dance, to dream}. Nevertheless, the rule was handed down: no split infinitives.

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Chapter 4

Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject In This Chapter Understanding the role of the subject and subject-verb pairs Spotting the subject and subject-verb pairs in simple sentences ••* Identifying the subject and subject-verb pairs in more challenging sentences # # • # # • # •

n Chapter 2 I describe the sentence as a flatbed truck carrying your mean/ ing to the reader or listener. Verbs are the wheels of the truck, and subjects are the drivers. Why do you need a subject? Can you imagine a truck speeding down the road without a driver? Not possible, or, if possible, not a pleasant thought!

Who's brivinq the Truck or Why the Subject Is Important All sentences contain verbs — words that express action or state of being. (For more information on verbs, see Chapter 2.) But you can't have an action in a vacuum. You can't have a naked, solitary state of being either. Someone or something must also be present in the sentence — the who or what you're talking about in relation to the action or state of being expressed by the verb. The "someone" or "something" doing the action or being talked about is the subject. A "someone" must be a person and a "something" must be a thing, place, or idea. So guess what? The subject is usually a noun, because a noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. I say usually because sometimes the subject is a pronoun — a word that substitutes for a noun — he, they it, and so forth. (For more on pronouns, see Chapter 10.) www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

learning up: Subject and Verb pairs Another way to think about the subject is to say that the subject is the "who" or "what" part of the subject-verb pair. The subject-verb pair is the main idea of the sentence, stripped to essentials. A few sentences: Jasper gasped at the mummy's sudden movement. In this sentence, Jasper gasped is the main idea; it's also the subject-verb pair. (This subject-verb pair is also really hard to say four times fast.) Justicia will judge the beauty contest only if the warthog competes. You should spot two subject-verb pairs in this sentence: Justicia will judge and warthog competes. Now try a sentence without action. This one describes a state of being, so it uses a linking verb: Jackhammer has always been an extremely noisy worker. The subject-verb pair is Jackhammer has been. Did you notice that Jackhammer has been sounds incomplete? Has been is a linking verb, and linking verbs always need something after the verb to complete the idea. I give you more links in the verb chain in Chapter 2; now back to the subject at hand. (Uh, sorry about that one.) The subject-verb pair in action-verb sentences may usually stand alone, but the subject-verb pair in linking verb sentences may not.

Compound subjects and Verbs: Tu/o for the price of one Subjects and verbs pair off, but sometimes you get two (or more) for the price of one. For example: Warthog burped and cried after the contest. You've got two actions (burped, cried) and one person doing both (Warthog). Warthog is the subject of both burped and cried. Some additional samples of double verbs, which in grammatical terms are called compound verbs: Lochness snatched the atomic secret and quickly stashed it in his navel. www.watchtvsitcoms.com {snatched, stashed = verbs)

Chapterwww.watchtvsitcoms.com 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject Ludmilla ranted for hours about Ludwig's refusal to hold an engagement party and then crept home, (ranted, crept = verbs) Eggworthy came out of his shell last winter but didn't stay there, (came, did stay = verbs) You can also have two subjects (or more) and one verb. The multiple subjects are called compound subjects. Here's an example: Warthog and Justicia went home in defeat. Here you notice one action (went) and two people (Warthog, Justicia) doing the action, if you count Warthog as a person. So the verb went has two subjects. Now take a look at some additional examples: Lola and Lulu ganged up on Legghorn yesterday to his dismay and defeat. (Lola, Lulu = subjects) The omelet and fries revolted Eggworthy (omelet, fries = subjects) Snort and Squirm were the only two dwarves expelled from Snow White's band. (Snort, Squirm = subjects)

Pop the Question: Locating the Subject-Verb Pair Allow me to let you in on a little trick for pinpointing the subject-verb pair of a sentence: Pop the question! (No, I'm not asking you to propose.) Pop the question tells you what to ask in order to find out what you want to know. The correct question is all important in the search for information, as all parents know: WRONG QUESTION FROM PARENT: What did you do last night? TEENAGER'S ANSWER: Nothing. RIGHT QUESTION FROM PARENT: When you came in at 2 a.m., were you hoping that I'd ignore the fact that you went to the China Club? TEENAGER'S ANSWER: I didn't go to the China Club! I went to Moomba. PARENT: Aha! You went to a club on a school night. You're grounded. In Chapter 2,1 explain thatwww.watchtvsitcoms.com the first question to ask is not "Is this going to be on the test?" but "What's the verb?" (To find the verb, ask what's happening?

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

or what is?) After you uncover the verb, put "who" or "what" in front of it to form a question. The answer is the subject!

^ a ^ Subject

\ )

Who? -1 What?

Verb

Uftattel

Try one: Jackknife sharpens his dives during hours of practice. 1. Pop the question: What's happening? Answer: sharpens. Sharpens is the verb.

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2. Pop the question: Who or what sharpens? Answer: Jackknife sharpens. Jackknife is the subject. A pop quiz on popping the question. What are the subject and verb in the following sentence? Jolly Roger will soon be smiling because of all the treasure in his ship. Answer: The verb is will be smiling and the subject is Jolly Roger. Try one more. Identify the subject and verb. No matter what the weather, Ratrug never even considers wearing a hat. Answer: The verb is considers and the subject is Ratrug.

What's a Nice Subject Like \lou ùoinq in a Place Like This): Unusuat Word Order In this chapter, all the sample sentences up to this point are in the normal subject-verb order,www.watchtvsitcoms.com which is (gasp) subject-verb. In other words, the subject usually comes before the verb. Not every sentence follows that order, though most do. Sometimes a subject hides out at the end of the sentence or in some

Chapterwww.watchtvsitcoms.com 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject other weird place. (Hey, even a subject needs a break sometime. Don't you like a change of scenery once in a while?) If you pop the question and answer it according to the meaning of the sentence — not according to the word order — you'll be fine. The key is to put the subject questions (who? what?) in front of the verb. Then think about what the sentence is actually saying and answer the questions. And voilà! Your subject will appear. Try this one: Up the avenue and around the park trudged Godzilla on his way to tea with the Loch Ness Monster. 1. Pop the question: What's happening? What is? Answer: trudged. Trudged is the verb. 2. Pop the question: Who trudged? What trudged? Answer: Godzilla. Godzilla is the subject. (I'll let you decide if Godzilla is a who or a what.)

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If you were answering by word order, you'd say park. But the park did not trudge, Godzilla trudged. Pay attention to meaning, not to placement in the sentence, and you can't go wrong. What are the subjects and verbs in the following sentences? A. Alas, what a woefully inadequate grammarian am I. B. Across the river and through the woods to the grammarian's house go Ludmilla and Ludwig. Answers: In sentence A, am is the verb and / is the subject. In sentence B, the verb is go and the subjects are Ludmilla and Ludwig. Always find the verb first. Then look for the subject.

Find That Subject! Detecting j/ouMnderstood "Cross on the green, not in between." "Eat your vegetables." "Don't leave your chewing gum on the bedpost overnight." www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Me, myself, and I You can use /as a subject, but not me or myself. Wrong: Bill and me are going to rob that bank. Bill and myself will soon be in jail. Right Bill and I are going to rob that bank. Bill and I will soon be in jail. Wrong: Lola and myself plan to stage the musical version of Legghorn's next play. Legghom and me are writing the music. Right: Lola and I plan to stage the musical version of Legghorn's next play. Legghorn and I are writing the music. Me doesn't perform actions; it receives actions. To put this rule another way: me is an object of some action or form of attention:

Lulu's offer was far more profitable for me than Lochness's. Myself is appropriate only for actions that double back on the person performing the action: I told myselfnotto be such a nerd! Because no one else did, I paid myself a compliment. Myself may also be used for emphasis, along with the word /. / myself will disclose the secret to the tabloid offering the most bucks. Murgatroyd and I myselfmote that screenplay, so don't you dare criticize it.

He gave it to me.

What do these sentences have in common? Yes, they're all nagging comments you've heard all your life. More importantly, they're all commands. The verbs give orders: cross, eat, don't leave. So where's the subject in these sentences? If you pop the question, here's what happens: 1. Pop the question: What's happening? What is? Answer: cross, eat, don't leave. 2. Pop the question: Who cross, eat, don't leave? Answer: Uh.... The second question appears to have no answer, but appearances can be deceiving. The answer is you. You cross at the green, not in between. You eat your vegetables. You don't leave your chewing gum on the bedpost overnight. What's that you say? You is not in the sentence? True. You is not written, but it's implied. And when your mom says, "Eat your vegetables," you understand that she means you. So grammarians say that the subject is you-understood. The subject is you, even though you isn't in the sentence and even though you don't intend to eat those horrible lima beans. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapterwww.watchtvsitcoms.com 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject auiz

Pop the questions and find the subject-verb pairs in these three sentences. A. Ludmilla, dancing the cha-cha, forgot to watch her feet. B. Stop, Ludmilla! C. Over the bandleader and across five violin stands fell Ludmilla, heavily. Answers: In sentence A, forgot is the verb and Ludmilla is the subject. Dancing is a fake verb. (I discuss finding fake verbs and subjects later in this chapter.) In sentence B, stop is the verb and you-understood is the subject. The remark is addressed to Ludmilla, but you-understood is still the subject. In sentence C, fell is the verb and Ludmilla is the subject.

Don't Get Faked Out: AVoidlna Fake Verbs and Subjects As I walk through New York City, I often see "genuine" Rolex watches (retail $10,000 or so) for sale from street peddlers for "$15 — special today only!" You need to guard against fakes when you're on the city streets (no surprise there). Also (and this may be a surprise), you need to guard against fakes when you're finding subject-verb pairs.

Finding fake Verbs Verbs in English grammar can be a little sneaky sometimes. You may ask who? or what? in front of a verb and get no answer or at least no answer that makes sense. When this happens, you may gather that you haven't really found a verb. You've probably stumbled upon a lookalike, or, as I like to call it, a "fake verb." Here's an example: Wiping his tears dramatically, Grumpus pleaded with the teacher to forgive his lack of homework. Suppose you pop the verb question (What's happening? What is?) and get wiping for an answer. A reasonable guess. But now pop the subject question: Who wiping? What wiping? The questions don't sound right, and that's your first hint that you haven't found a real verb. But the question is not important. The answer, however, is! And there is no real answer in the sentence. You may try Grumpus, but when you put him with the "verb," it doesn't match: Grumpus wiping. (Grumpus is wiping would be okay, but that's not what the sentence says.) So now you know for sure that your first "verb" isn't www.watchtvsitcoms.com really a verb. Put it aside and keep looking. What's the real verb? Pleaded.

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Who made these rules anyway? Old guys in America? When English settlers crossed the ocean and landed in America, they found themselves submerged in a stew of languages. Colonists from France, Spain, the Netherlands, and other European countries were around, and so were Native Americans speaking hundreds of different tongues. The English language immediately began to pick up words from all these sources. And of course, the language itself, cut off from the mother country by a months-long journey, began to follow its own path. Almost as soon as America became a country, schools began to teach English grammar. (This practice was a major break from the British, who were still teaching Latin grammar in their schools and hoping that something good would rub off onto their students' English skills.) But once again the old guys weighed in with a strong tsk-tsk, this time worrying that the

teachers themselves didn't know the rules. W B. Fowle, nineteenth-century author of a popular grammar textbook, complained that grammarians (and grammar teachers) "have generally been unable to write or speak pure English." All of those complaining grammarians spent a lot of time writing books that a) attacked all the previous grammar texts and b) claimed that their own books were more fun. Samuel Kirkham in his 1825 English Grammar in Familiar Lectures, for example, said that his text made "interesting and delightful" a subject that was, until then, "tedious, dry, and irksome." Joseph Neef, my favorite nineteenth-century grammarian, paused for a moment in his list of rules to admit that "the education of children and the rearing of vegetables are the only occupations for which I feel any aptitude."

To sum up: Lots of words in the sentence express action or being, but only some of these words are verbs. (Most are what grammarians call verbals; check out Chapter 24 for more on verbals.) At any rate, if you get no answer to your pop-the-subject question, just ignore the "verb" you think you found and look for the real verb.

Watching out for here and there and other fake subjects Someone comes up to you and says, "Here is one million dollars." What's the first question that comes into your mind? I know, good grammarian that you are, that your question is What's the subject ofthat sentence?'Well, try to answer your question in the usual way, by popping the question. Here is one million dollars. www.watchtvsitcoms.com 1. Pop the question: What's happening? What is? Answer: is.

2. Pop the question: Who is? What is? Answer: ?

Chapterwww.watchtvsitcoms.com 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject

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What did you say? Here is? Wrong. Here can't be a subject. Neither can there. Both of these words are fake subjects. (Here and there are adverbs, not nouns.) What's the real answer to the question What is? One million dollars. Here and there are fill-ins, place markers; they aren't what you're talking about. One million dollars — that's what you're talking about! Although they sometimes try to disguise themselves as nouns, here and there are actually adverbs. Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, other adverbs. They are busy little words. (For more on adverbs, see Chapter 8.) The moral of my story: Avoid here and there when searching for the subject of a sentence.

Choosing the correct Verb for here and there sentences «\NG/

If you write here and there sentences, be sure to choose the correct verb. Because here and there are never subjects, you must always look after the verb for the real subject. When you match a subject to a verb (something I discuss in detail in Chapter 11), be sure to use the real subject, not here or there. Example: Here are ten anteaters. NOT Here is ten anteaters. anteaters = subject Another example: There are a pen and a pencil in Mr. Nerd's plastic pocket protector. NOT There is a pen and a pencil in Mr. Nerd's plastic pocket protector. pen, pencil = subject (compound) One last example: There were far too many pimples on Murgatroyd's face. NOT www.watchtvsitcoms.com There was far too many pimples on Murgatroyd's face.

pimples = subject

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

If you want to check your choice of verb, try reversing the sentence. In the sample sentences above, say ten anteaters is/are, a pen and pencil is/are, far too many pimples was/were. Chances are your "ear" will tell you that you want ten anteaters are, a pen and pencil are, far too many pimples were. Which sentence is correct? A. There are 50 reasons for my complete lack of homework. B. There's 50 reasons for my complete lack of homework. Answer: Sentence A is correct. In sentence B, there's is short for there is, but reasons, the plural subject, takes a plural verb.

Subjects Aren't Just a Singular Sensation: Forming the Pturat of Nouns Distinguishing between singular and plural subjects is a really big deal, and I go into it in detail in Chapter 11. But before I go any further, I want to explain how to form the plural of nouns (words that name persons, places, or things) because most subjects are nouns. If you learn how to form plurals, you'll also be able to recognize them.

Regular plurals Plain old garden-variety nouns form plurals by adding the letter s. Check out Table 4-1 for some examples.

Table 4-1

Examples of Regular Plurals

Singular

Plural

xylophone

xylophones

quintuplet

quintuplets

worrywart

worrywarts

nerd

nerds

lollipop

lollipops

eyebrow

eyebrows www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapterwww.watchtvsitcoms.com 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject Singular nouns that end in s already, as well as singular nouns ending in sh, ch, and x form plurals by adding es. Some examples are shown in Table 4-2.

Table 4-2

Examples of Regular Plurals Ending in S and CH

Singular

Plural

grinch

grinches

box

boxes

kiss

kisses

George Bush

both George Bushes

mess

messes

catch

catches

The 1ES and \IS have it If a noun ends in the letter y and the letter before they is a vowel (a, e, i, o, u), just add s. For examples, see Table 4-3.

Table 4-3

Examples of Regular Plurals Ending in a Vowel Plus Y

Singular

Plural

monkey

monkeys

turkey

turkeys

day

days

boy

boys

honey

honeys

bay

bays

If the noun ends in y but the letter before they is not a vowel, form the plural by changing the y to / and adding es. For examples, see Table 4-4.

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Table 4-4 Examples of Regul ar Plurals Ending in aConsonant Plus Y Singular

Plural

sob story

sob stories

unsolvable mystery

unsolvable mysteries

a cute little ditty (it means song)

cute little ditties

pinky

pinkies

bat-filled belfry

bat-filled belfries

tabby

tabbies

No knifes here: Irregular plurals This topic wouldn't be any fun without irregulars, now would it? Okay, you're right. Irregulars are always a pain. However, they're also always around. Table 4-5 gives you examples of irregular plurals.

Table 4-5

Examples of Irregular Plurals

Singular

Plural

knife

knives

sheep

man

men

woman

women

child

children

hanky-panky

Listing all the irregular plurals is an impossible task. Check the dictionary for any noun plural that puzzles you.

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Chapterwww.watchtvsitcoms.com 4: Who's Doing What? How to Find the Subject

The brother-in-law rule: Hyphenated plurals If you intend to insult your relatives, you may as well do so with the correct plural form. Remember: Form the plural of hyphenated nouns by adding 5 or es to the important word, not to the add-ons. These words are all plurals: v0 mothers-in-law u0 brothers-in-law u0 vice-presidents J> secretaries-general u0 dogcatchers-in-chief

When the Subject Is a Number Numbers are sometimes the subject of a sentence. Check out this example: You're a star pitcher and your agent tells you that your favorite team has made an offer. You add up the numbers and send off an e-mail. What do you say? $10,000,000 is not enough. No, that's not what you say. Why? Leaving aside the fact that $10,000,000 is more than enough for any human being's work, even work as crucial to the future of civilization as hurling a ball past a batter, your answer has a more important problem. It's not grammatically correct. Here's the rule: Always begin a sentence with a capital letter. Don't begin a sentence with a number, because you can't capitalize numbers, and to repeat, you must begin every sentence with a capital letter. If need be, reword the sentence or write out the number. So what do you, the star pitcher, write? A mere $10,000,000 a year is not enough, or you can write out the amount that you're negotiating: Ten million dollars a year is not enough. Here are yet more examples: WRONG: 1966 was a very good year. RIGHT BUT CLUMSY: Nineteen sixty-six was a very good year. ALSO RIGHT: The year 1966 was a good one. ALSO RIGHT: I had awww.watchtvsitcoms.com good time in 1966, as least what I remember of it.

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Are you affected? Or effected? Has the study of grammar affected or effected your brain? Should you sef or sit on the porch to think about this sentence? These two pairs of words are a complete annoyance, but once you learn them, you're all set. (And I do mean set) Here are the definitions:

Special note: Affect may also be a noun meaning "the way one relates to and shows emotions." Effect may act as a verb meaning "to cause a complete change." However, you rarely need these secondary meanings.

Affect versus effect Affect is a verb. It means to influence. Effect is a noun meaning result. Hence

Sit versus set: S/f is a verb meaning "to plop yourself down on a chair, to take a load off your feet." Sef means "to put something else down, to place something in a particular spot." Thus

Sunlight affects Ludwig's appetite; he never eats during the day.

Ratrug seldom sits for more than two minutes.

Ludmilla thinks that her vegetarian pizza will affect Ludwig's dietary regimen, but I think the effect will be disastrous.

I'd like to sit down while I speak, but only if you promise not to sef that plate of pickled fish eyeballs in front of me.

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Chapter 5

Having It All: The Complete Sentence In This Chapter Distinguishing between complete sentences and sentence fragments Understanding when complete sentences are necessary Deciding when sentence fragments are acceptable Learning how to punctuate sentences correctly

veryone knows the most important rule of English grammar: All sentences must be complete.

mmeveryone s But breaks the rule. I just did! But everyone breaks the rule is not a complete sentence. And you understood me, didn't you? (Another half sentence.) Because what I was trying to say was quite clear. (One more.) In this chapter, I explain how to decide whether your sentence is complete. I show you how to identify partial sentences, or fragments. I tell you when fragments are acceptable and when they send you to the grammar penitentiary. I also provide everything you need to know about endmarks, the punctuation that separates one sentence from another.

Completing Sentences: The Essential Subjects and Verbs What is a complete sentence, anyway? First of all, a complete sentence has at least one subject-verb pair; they're a pair because they match. That is, the subject and verb go together. You may think about a subject-verb pair this way: The sentence must include one element expressing action or being, and one element that you're talking about in relation to the acting or being. (For more information on verbs, see Chapters 2 and 3; for more information on subjects, see Chapter 4.) Awww.watchtvsitcoms.com few subject-verb pairs that match are

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Eggworthy scrambled Ms. Drydock repairs The little engine will be repaired Murgatroyd had repelled Ratrug will have screeched Just for comparison, here is one mismatch: Eggworthy scrambling You may find some mismatches in your sentences when you go subject-verb hunting. Mismatches are not necessarily wrong; they're simply not subject-verb pairs. Take a look at the preceding mismatch, this time inside its sentence: Eggworthy, scrambling for a seat on the plane, knocked over the omelet plate. When you're checking a sentence for completeness, ignore the mismatches. Keep looking until you find a subject-verb pair that matches. If you can't find one, you don't have a complete sentence. (For more information, see Chapter 4.) Complete sentences may also include more than one subject-verb pair: Dillbly fiddled while Elmira burned. (Dillbly = subject of the verb fiddled, Elmira = subject of the verb burned) Because Lester jumped on the trampoline, the earth shook. {Lester = subject of the verb jumped, earth = subject of the verb shook) Not only did Lochness swim, but he also drank. (Lochness = subject of the verb did swim, he = subject of the verb drank) Complete sentences may also match one subject with more than one verb, and vice versa: The animated pumpkin appeared in three commercials but sang in only two. (pumpkin = subject of verbs appeared, sang) Alice and Archie will fight endlessly over a single birdseed. (Alice, Archie = subjects of the verb will fight) Ratrug and I put crayons on the radiator. (Ratrug, I = subjects of the verb put) Complete sentences that give commands may match an understood subject (you) with the verb: Give a coupon to whoever needs a new tire, (you-understood = subject of the verb give, whoever = subject of the verb needs) www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 5: Having It All: The Complete Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com Visit Grandma, you little creep! (you-understood = subject of the verb visit) Murder Murgatroyd, please, (you-understood = subject of the verb murder) To find the subject-verb pair, start with the verb. Pop the verb question: What's happening? or What is? The answer is the verb. Then pop the subject question: Ask who? or what? in front of the verb. The answer is the subject. (For a more complete explanation, see Chapter 4.) >&"'? The sentence below contains one true subject-verb pair and one mismatch. Can you find the subject-verb pair? The angry ant caught in a blob of glue vowed never to build a model airplane again. Answer: The subject-verb pair is ant vowed. The mismatch is ant caught. The sentence isn't saying that the ant caught something, so ant caught is not a match. jfrXNG/

In the preceding pop quiz, to build is not the verb. To build is an infinitive, the basic form from which verbs are made. Infinitives are never used as verbs in a sentence. (See Chapter 2 for more information on infinitives.)

Complète Thoughts, Complete Sentences What's an incomplete sentence? It's the moment in the television show just before the last commercial. You know what I mean. The hero slowly edges the door open a few inches, peeks in, gasps, and... FADE TO DANCING DETERGENT BOTTLE. You were planning to change the channel, but instead you wait to see if the villain's cobra really didn't die and is now going to bite the hero's nose. You haven't gotten to the end. You don't know what's happening. You stick it out. A complete sentence is the opposite of that moment in a television show. You have gotten to the end, you do know what's happening, and you have stuck it out. In other words, a complete sentence must express a complete thought. (You've probably noticed that grammar terminology is not terribly original; in fact, it's terribly obvious.) Check out these complete sentences. Notice how they express complete thoughts: Despite Eggworthy's fragile appearance, he proved to be a tough opponent. Ms. Drydock will sail solo around the world, as soon as her boat is sound again. I can't imagine why anyone would want to ride on top of a Zamboni. Ludwig bought a genuine Zamboni just for that purpose. www.watchtvsitcoms.com Ludmilla melted the ice on purpose.

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Here are a few incomplete thoughts, just for comparison: The reason I wanted a divorce was. Because I said so. I can guess what you're thinking. Both of those incomplete thoughts may be part of a longer conversation. Yes, in context those incomplete thoughts may indeed express a complete thought: Sydney: So the topic of conversation was the Rangers' season opener? Alice: No! "The reason I wanted a divorce" was! and Sydney: Why do I have to do this dumb homework? Alice: Because I said so. Fair enough. You can pull a complete thought out of the examples. However, the context of a conversation is not enough to satisfy the complete thought/complete sentence rule. To be legal, your sentence must express a complete thought. Check out these examples: What we talked about was the reason I wanted a divorce, even though his real interest was the Rangers' season opener. You have to do this dumb homework because I said so. Final answer: Every complete sentence has at least one subject-verb pair and must express a complete thought. ojttNG/ ^/^~JK I (^k ) VJ^P/

In deciding whether you have a complete sentence or not, you may be led astray by words that resemble questions. Consider these three words: who knits well. A complete thought? Maybe yes, maybe no. Suppose those three words form a question: Who knits well? This question is understandable and its thought is complete. Verdict: legal. Suppose these three words form a statement: Who knits well. Now they don't make sense. This incomplete sentence needs more words to make a complete thought: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

The honor of making the Chihuahua's sweater will go to the person who knits well.

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 5: Having It All: The Complete Sentence

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The moral of the story? Don't change the meaning of what you're saying when deciding whether a thought is complete. If you're questioning, consider your sentence as a question. If you're stating, consider your sentence as a statement. Which sentence is complete? A. Martin sings. B. Martin, who hopes to sing professionally some day but can't get beyond the do-re-mi level. Answer: Even though it is short, sentence A is correct. Martin sings is a complete idea and includes the necessary subject-verb pair. In sentence B, one subject is paired with two verbs (who + hopes, can get), but no complete thought is stated.

lakinq an Incomplete: fragment Sentences I use incomplete sentences, or fragments, here and there throughout this book, and (I hope) these incomplete sentences aren't confusing. Especially now in the MTV-Internet Age, quick cuts and quick comments are the rule. Everyone today, particularly young people, is much more comfortable with half-sentences than our elderly relatives were. (I have to point out that the entire older generation, no matter how fanatically correct in grammar, loves one incomplete sentence: Because Isaidso.^) The most common type of fragment uses the words and, or, but, and nor. These words are called conjunctions, and they work like rubber bands; they bind things together. (For more information on conjunctions, see Chapter 6.) Frequently these words are used to combine two complete sentences (with two complete thoughts) into one longer sentence: Eggworthy went to his doctor for a cholesterol check, and then he scrambled home. Ratrug will rule the roost, or he will die trying. President Drinkwater was extremely thirsty, but he was not fond of chamomile tea. Ludwig did not want to clean the Zamboni, nor did Ludmilla want to drive it away. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Whether or if it rains Whether and if both connect one idea to tf, on the other hand, describes a possibility. another in the sentence, but each is used in a Check out these examples: different situation. Are you choosing between Lulu will reach the top of Mount Everest if two alternatives? Select whether, as in whether the sunny weather continues. (The senor not Look at the following examples: tence talks about the possibility of sunny weather.) Lochness is not sure whether he should activate the wind machine. (He has two If I have my way, the Grammarians' Ball will choices — to activate or not to activate.) be held in the Participle Club. (The sentence talks about the possibility of my having what Whether\ go or stay is completely irrelevant I want.) to me. {Two choices — going and staying.)

In the first sample sentence, and is a rubber band joining Eggworthy went to his doctor for a cholesterol check to then he scrambled home. In the second sentence, the rubber band is or, which joins Ratrug will rule the roost to he will die trying. The next pair of complete sentences (1. President Drinkwater was extremely thirsty. 2. He was not fond of chamomile tea.) is joined by but. In the last sample sentence, nor joins the two complete sentences (1. Ludwig did not want to clean the Zamboni. 2. Ludmilla did want to drive it away.}.

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Note that the word nor changes the meaning of the second sentence from positive (Ludmilla did want) to negative (Ludmilla did not want). Nowadays, more and more writers begin sentences with and, or, but, and nor, even in formal writing. For example, the previous sentences may be turned into Eggworthy went to his doctor for a cholesterol check. And then he www.watchtvsitcoms.com scrambled home. Ratrug will rule the roost. Or he will die trying.

Chapter 5: Having It All: The Complete Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com President Drinkwater was extremely thirsty. But he was not fond of chamomile tea. Ludwig did not want to clean the Zamboni. Nor did Ludmilla want to drive it away. The rubber bands — and, or, but, and nor in these sentences — are still there. However, they aren't connecting two or more complete thoughts in single sentences. Logically, of course, the conjunctions are connecting the thoughts in both sentences. Beginning sentences with and, but, or, and nor is still not quite acceptable in formal English grammar. (I wouldn't suggest using these incomplete sentences in school essays or professional reports, for example.) In most instances, however, you probably won't go to the grammar penitentiary if you begin a sentence with one of these words. Consider your audience and then make your choice.

Oh, Mama, Coutd This Realty Be the End) Understanding Endmarks When you speak, your body language, silences, and tone act as punctuation marks. You wriggle your eyebrows, stop at significant moments, and raise your tone when you ask a question. When you write, you can't raise an eyebrow or stop for a dramatic moment. No one hears your tone of voice. That's why grammar uses endmarks. The endmarks take the place of live communication and tell your reader how to "hear" the words correctly. Plus, you need endmarks to close your sentences legally. Your choices include the period (.), question mark (?), exclamation point (!), or ellipsis (...). The following examples show how to use endmarks correctly. The period is for ordinary statements, declarations, and commands: I can't do my homework. I refuse to do my homework. I will never do homework again. The question mark is for questions: Why are you torturing me with this homework? www.watchtvsitcoms.com Is there no justice in the world of homework?

Does no one know the trouble I've seen in my assignment pad?

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Why clarity is important One of my favorite moments in teaching came on a snowy January day. A student named Danny ran into the lunchroom, clearly bursting with news. "Guess what?" he shouted triumphantly to his friends. "A kid on my bus's mother had a baby last night!" This situation wasn't critical. After all, the baby had already been born. But imagine if Danny had been greeting an ambulance with "Quick! Over here! A kid on my bus's mother is having a baby!" I think everyone agrees that the best reaction from an emergency medical technician isn't "Huh?"

incomplete sentences should win. In other words, here's the news Danny should have spread that cold January day: This kid on my bus? His mother had a baby last night. Of course, he could also have told his story correctly by saying: The mother of a kid on my bus had a baby last night.

Either way, everyone would've yawned, eaten another bite of mystery meat, and filed out to math class. Hearing either of these statements, Being clear is probably the first rule of English the students would've understood what Danny grammar, and that rule wins a fight with any was trying to say. other rule. Faced with a choice between confuSo remember. First comes meaning. Second sion and incomplete sentences, for example, comes everything else.

The exclamation point adds a little drama to sentences that would otherwise end in periods: I can't do my homework! I absolutely positively refuse to do it! Oh, the agony of homework I've seen! An ellipsis (three dots) signals that something has been left out of a sentence. When missing words occur at the end of a sentence, use four dots (three for the missing words and one for the end of the sentence): Murgatroyd choked, "I can't do my...." Ratrug complained, "If you don't shut up, I \*

Don't put more than one endmark at the end of a sentence, unless you're trying to create a comic effect: He said my cooking tasted like what?!?!?! www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 5: Having It All: The Complete Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com Don't put any endmarks in the middle of a sentence. You may find a period inside a sentence as part of an abbreviation; in this case, the period is not considered an endmark. If the sentence ends with an abbreviation, let the period after the abbreviation do double duty. Don't add another period: WRONG: When Griselda woke me, it was six a.m.. RIGHT: When Griselda woke me, it was six a.m. WRONG: Lulu prefers to buy artifacts made before 700 B.C.. ,&uiz

RIGHT: Lulu prefers to buy artifacts made before 700 B.C. Can you punctuate this example correctly? Who's there Archie I think there is someone at the door Archie it's a murderer Archie he's going to Answer: Who's there? Archie, I think there is someone at the door. Archie, it's a murderer! (A period is acceptable here also.) Archie, he's going t o . . . .

Who made these rules anyway? You do Listen to yourself talk. What you hear is grammar. You may not be hearing correct grammar, but if enough people talk the way you do, you are hearing grammar in the making— at least according to some grammarians.

Some time ago, people began to use hopefully in a different way, to mean, it is hoped that. Hopefully Griselda won't decide to redecorate Grimface's castle in post-modern style.

English teachers sometimes frowned on the use of hopefully m the second sentence, but most people ignored those frowns quite successfully. The result? Hopefully now means it is hoped that m normal speech (though not on English tests and not in all dictionaries). Who made the new rule? You did. The you above is a collective you, not an individual you. Don't assume that you can say anything you want and be correct! First a critical mass of speakers (think millions, Take the word hopefully, for example. This word not you and a bunch of your friends) must originally meant with hope and was used to accept a new usage before grammarians take describe the feelings accompanying a specific notice. And even then, some will still frown. Know your audience, and be careful in your action: speech and writing when you are dealing with a Griselda wrote hopefully, her mind filled known frowner or an unknown audience. with thoughts of a rosy future with Grimface and their dot com start-up. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

There are two schools of thought on grammar: In one, teachers and other so-called experts give you a list of rules and tell you to follow them. In another, grammarians listen and describe what they hear. Once enough people speak a certain way, the expression becomes part of standard English. Or, as a grammarian named Lathan said in 1848, "In Language, whatever is, is right."

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Chapter 6

Handling Complements In This Chapter Recognizing complements Understanding how a complement adds to the meaning of a sentence Distinguishing between linking-verb and action-verb complements Placing complements after linking verbs and action verbs Using the correct pronouns as complements

peeding down the grammar highway, the sentence is a flatbed truck carrying meaning to the reader. The verbs are the wheels and the subject is the driver. Complements are the common, not-always-essential parts of the truck — perhaps the odometer or the turn signals. These words are a little more important than those fuzzy dice some people hang from their rearview mirrors or bumper stickers declaring / stop at railroad tracks. (What do they think the rest of us do? Leap over the train?) You can sometimes create a sentence without complements, but their presence is generally part of the driving — sorry, I mean communicating — experience. You can find four kinds of complements in sentences: direct objects, indirect objects, objective complements, and subject complements. The first three types of complements are related to the object of a sentence (notice that the word object is part of the name), and the fourth type of complement is related to the subject of a sentence (notice the word subject is part of its name). Knowing the difference between these two groups is helpful. In this chapter, I discuss the complements in two sections. The first section explains objects, which follow action verbs. The next section tackles the subject complement, which follows linking verbs. Before I go any further, it's time to straighten out the compliment/complement divide. The one with an "i" is not a grammatical term; compliment is just a word meaning "praise." Complement with an "e" is a grammatical term. A complement adds meaning to the idea that the subject and verb express. That is, a complement completes the idea that the subject and verb begin. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Getting to the Action: Action Verb Complements Action verbs express — surprise! — action. No action verb needs a complement to be grammatically legal. But an action-verb sentence without a complement may sound bare, stripped down to the bone. The complements that follow action verbs — the direct object, indirect object, and objective complement — enhance the meaning of the subject-verb pair.

ReceMna the action: birect objects Imagine that you're fourteen. You're holding the baseball, ready to throw it to a buddy in your yard. But in your imagination, you're facing Mark McGuire, the home-run champ. You go into your windup and pitch a 99-mile-an-hour fastball. (Okay, a 40-mile-an-hour curve.) The ball arcs gracefully against the clear blue sky — and crashes right through the picture window in your living room. You broke the picture window! Before you can retrieve your ball, the phone rings. It's your mom, who has radar for situations like this. What's going on? she asks. You mutter something containing the word broke. (There's the verb.) Broke? Who broke something? she demands. You concede thatyow did. (There's the subject.) What did you break? You hesitate. You consider a couple of possible answers: a bad habit, the world's record for the hundred-meter dash. Finally you confess: the picture window. (There's the complement.) Here's another way to think about the situation (and the sentence). Broke is an action verb because it tells you what happened. The action came from the subject (you) and went to an object (the window). As some grammarians phrase it, the window receives the action expressed by the verb broke. Conclusion? Window is a direct object because it receives the action directly from the verb. Try another. With the force of 1,000 hurricanes, you pitch the baseball. Pitch is an action verb because it expresses what is happening in the sentence. The action goes from the subject (you, the pitcher) to the object (the baseball). In other words, baseball receives the action of pitching. Thus, baseball is the direct object of the verb pitch. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 6: Handling Complements www.watchtvsitcoms.com Here are a few examples of sentences with action verbs. The direct objects are italicized. The defective X-ray machine took strange pictures of the giant frog. (took = verb, X-ray machine = subject) Legghorn hissed the secret word in the middle of the graduation ceremony, (hissed = verb, Legghorn = subject) Green marking pens draw naturally beautiful lines, (draw = verb, pens = subject) Griselda kissed the giant frog, (kissed = verb, Griselda = subject) Leroy's laser printer spurted ink all over his favorite shirt, (spurted = verb, printer = subject) You may be able to recognize direct objects more easily if you think of them as part of a pattern in the sentence structure: subject (S) - action verb (AV) direct object (DO). This S-AV-DO pattern is one of the most common in the English language; it may even be the most common (I don't know if anyone has actually counted all the sentences and figured it out!). At any rate, think of the parts of the sentence in threes, in the S-AV-DO pattern: machine took pictures Legghorn hissed word pens draw lines Griselda kissed frog printer spurted ink Of course, just to make your life a little bit harder, a sentence can have more than one DO. Check out these examples: Algernon autographed posters and books for his many admirers. Ratrug will buy a dozen doughnuts and a few slabs of cheesecake for breakfast. The new president of the Heart Society immediately phoned Eggworthy and his brother. Lochness sent spitballs and old socks flying across the room. Ludmilla bought orange juice, tuna, aspirin, and a coffee table. Some sentences have no DO. Take a look at this example: Throughout the endless afternoon and into the lonely night, Allegheny sighed sadly. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part I: The Parts of Speech and Parts of the Sentence www.watchtvsitcoms.com

No one or nothing receives the sighs, so the sentence has no direct object. Perhaps that's why Allegheny is lonely. The grammar point: This sentence doesn't have a direct object, though it is powered by a verb and expresses a complete thought.

Rare, but sometimes there: Indirect objec Another type of object is the indirect object. This one is called indirect because the action doesn't flow directly to it. The indirect object, affectionately known as the 10, is an intermediate stop along the way between the action verb and the direct object. Read this sentence, in which the indirect object is italicized: Knowing that I'm on a diet, my former friend sent me six dozen chocolates. The action is sent. My former friend performed the action, so friend is the subject. What received the action? Six dozen chocolates. Chocolates is the direct object. That's what was sent, what received the action of the verb directly. But me also received the action, indirectly. Me received the sending of the boxes of chocolate. Me is called the indirect object. The sentence pattern for indirect objects is subject (S) - action verb (AV) indirect object (10) - direct object (DO). Notice that the indirect object always precedes the direct object: S-AV-IO-DO. Here are a few sentences with the indirect objects italicized: Grunhilda will tell me the whole story tomorrow, (will tell = verb, Grunhilda = subject, story = direct object) Murgatroyd promises Lulu everything, (promises = verb, Murgatroyd = subject, everything = direct object) As a grammarian, I should have given you better sample sentences. (should have given = verb, / = subject, sentences = direct object) Ludmilla radioed Ludwig a tart message, (radioed = verb, Ludmilla = subject, message = direct object) The crooked politician offered Agnes a bribe for dropping out of the senate race, (offered = verb, politician = subject, bribe = direct object) Like clerks in a shoe store, indirect objects don't appear very often. When indirect objects do arrive, they're always in partnership with a direct object. You probably don't need to worry about knowing the difference between direct and indirect objects (unless you're an English teacher). As long as you understand that these words are objects, completing the meaning of an action verb, you recognize the basic composition of a sentence. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 6: www.watchtvsitcoms.com Understanding how longer sentences make your writing flow more smoothly Uniting two or more sentences properly Using the correct words to join equal elements Punctuating joined sentences Joining unequal elements properly

J ^ a v i n g come of age in the Sixties, I learned a special meaning of the word • I together. To us flower children (yes, I got married with daisies in my hair), together meant more than just two or more things mixed into one batch. Together had a cosmic sense to it, a feeling of harmony. If you were together, your life flowed along in a peaceful, wise, balanced way. People wanted to get their heads together, but the task was difficult. Your sentences have a much easier time of it. A together sentence, to borrow the Sixties term, flows well; it simply sounds good. How do you go about getting your sentences together? Read on.

Matchmaking: Combining Sentences Legally Listen to the nearest toddler and you may hear something like "I played with the clay and I went to the zoo and Mommy said I had to take a nap and " and so forth. Monotonous, yes. But — surprise, surprise — grammatically correct. Take a look at how the information would sound if that one sentence turned into three: I played with the clay. I went to the zoo. Mommy said I had to take a nap. The information sounds choppy. When the sentences are combined, the www.watchtvsitcoms.com information flows more smoothly. Granted, joining everything with and is not a great idea. Read on for better ways of gluing one sentence to another.

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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Although combining sentences may improve your writing, it can be dangerous. You may easily end up with a run-on sentence, which is two or more complete sentences faultily run together. A run-on (a grammatical felony, by the way) is like a dinner speaker who's supposed to entertain the guests during the appetizer but instead talks right through the entrée, the dessert, and the kitchen cleanup. You don't want run-ons in your writing! The best way to avoid these sentences is to figure out how to connect sentences legally.

Connecting With coordinate conjunctions The words used to join clauses are called conjunctions. You're familiar with these common words: for, but, yet, so, nor, and, and or. (And is the most popular, for those of you keeping track.) These little powerhouses, which are called coordinate conjunctions, eat their spinach and lift weights every day. They're strong enough to join complete sentences. They may use their strength to join all sorts of equal grammatical elements. Here they are in action joining equal clauses: The rain pelted Abernathy's gray hair, and his green velvet shoes were completely ruined. The CEO told Agwam to call all the numbers on the Rolodex, but Agwam had no idea what a Rolodex was. You can take a hike, or you can jump off a cliff. Blathersby did not know how to shoe a horse, nor did he understand equine psychology. The town lined the streets, for they had heard a rumor about Lady Godiva. The coordinate conjunctions give equal emphasis to the elements they join. In the preceding sentences, the ideas on one side of the conjunction have no more importance than the ideas on the other side of the conjunction.

Pausing to place commas In the sample sentences in the previous section, all the conjunctions have commas in front of them. A few special rules govern the use of commas in joined sentences: i> When you join two complete sentences, always put a comma in front of the conjunction. *> These same conjunctions — and, but, or, nor, for, yet, so — may also unite other things. For example, these words may join two nouns (Mac and Agnes) or www.watchtvsitcoms.com two verbs (sing or dance) and so forth. Use the comma only when joining two complete sentences. Here are a few examples:

Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences www.watchtvsitcoms.com WRONG: Little Jack Horner sat in the corner, and then pulled a plum out of his pie. WHY IT IS WRONG: And joins two verbs, sat and pulled. RIGHT: Little Jack Horner sat in the corner and then pulled a plum out of his pie. Take a look at another set: WRONG: The head of the Committee on Punishment for Grammatical Crimes, and Abernathy propose exile for misuse of comma, first degree. WHY IT IS WRONG: And joins two nouns, head and Abernathy RIGHT: The head of the Committee on Punishment for Grammatical Crimes and Abernathy propose exile for misuse of comma, first degree. And just to make sure you're with me on this point: WRONG: Blind mice seem to spend a lot of time running up clocks, and singing nursery rhymes. WHY IT IS WRONG: And joins two descriptions, running and singing. RIGHT: Blind mice seem to spend a lot of time running up clocks and singing nursery rhymes. v0 Don't send a comma out all by itself when you want to join two complete sentences. Commas are too weak to glue one sentence to another. Despite the fact that these puny little punctuation marks can't hold anything together, every single day people try to use commas for just that purpose. So many people, in fact, that this sort of error actually has a name: a comma splice. (You know a grammar error has made it to the major leagues when the error has its very own name.) Here are some comma splices and their corrections: WRONG: Glue sticks fascinate Lola, glitter attracts Lulu. WHY IT IS WRONG: The comma joins two complete thoughts. RIGHT: Although glue sticks fascinate Lola, glitter attracts Lulu. ALSO RIGHT: Glue sticks fascinate Lola, but glitter attracts Lulu. RIGHT AGAIN: Glue sticks fascinate Lola; glitter attracts Lulu. Another example for you to consider: WRONG: As usual, Ludwig dove off the board without looking, Ratrug hopes to convince him of the value of caution. WHY IT IS WRONG: The comma joins two complete thoughts. www.watchtvsitcoms.com RIGHT: Although Ludwig as usual dove off the board without looking, Ratrug hopes to convince him of the value of caution.

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ALSO RIGHT: As usual, Ludwig dove off the board without looking, and Ratrug hopes to convince him of the value of caution. RIGHT AGAIN: As usual, Ludwig dove off the board without looking. Ratrug hopes to convince him of the value of caution. Now you're getting the hang of these: WRONG: The monkeys see, the monkeys do. WHY IT IS WRONG: Though short, each statement about the monkeys is a complete thought. RIGHT: The monkeys see, and the monkeys do. ALSO RIGHT: The monkeys see and the monkeys do. WHY IT IS ALSO RIGHT: When the sentences you are joining are very short, you may omit the comma before the conjunction. QUIZ

RIGHT AGAIN: Primates imitate. Which sentence is correct? A. The professor sits sedately on his sofa sniffing sweet scents, but no one else takes a moment to smell the flowers. B. The professor sits sedately on his sofa sniffing sweet scents but no one else takes a moment to smell the flowers. C. The professor sits sedately on his sofa sniffing sweet scents, no one else takes a moment to smell the flowers. D. The professor sits sedately on his sofa sniffing sweet scents. But no one else takes a moment to smell the flowers. Answer: Sentence A is correct because two complete thoughts are joined by the word but, which is preceded by a comma. Sentence B is incorrect, because the comma is missing. Sentence C is a comma splice; you can't join two complete thoughts only by a comma. Sentence D is incorrect in formal English because the second part begins with but, technically an error. See the following paragraph for a more complete explanation of sentence D.

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Beginning a sentence with a word that joins equals (particularly and and but) is increasingly popular. This practice is perfectly acceptable in conversational English and in informal writing (which is the sort you're reading in this book). In formal English, beginning a sentence with a conjunction may still be considered incorrect. Be careful! (For more on sentence fragments, see Chapter 5.)

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Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Attaching thoughts: Semi-cotons The semi-colon is a funny little punctuation mark; it gets its name from another punctuation mark, the colon. (These days, the colon is frequently used to create smiley faces in e-mail messages.) The semi-colon is no less important or no less powerful than its relative. This punctuation mark is strong enough to attach one complete sentence to another, and it has some other useful abilities in lists. (See Chapter 15 for more information on lists.) The thing about semi-colons is that some people express strong feelings about them. I've seen writing manuals that proclaim, "Never use semicolons!" with the same intensity of feeling as, say, "Don't blow up the world with that nuclear missile." Other people can't get enough of them, sprinkling them like confetti on New Year's. As far as I'm concerned, use them if you like them. Ignore them if you don't. If you do put a semi-colon in your sentence, follow two general guidelines. First, attach equals — that is, two complete sentences — with a semi-colon. Don't use the semi-colon to join nouns, (except in lists — see Chapter 15.) Second, use the semi-colon only to attach related ideas. When your reader encounters a semi-colon, he or she pauses a bit, but not for long. The semicolon says, "More information coming." So the reader has a right to expect a logical train of thought — not something completely new. Here's an example: RIGHT: Grover was born in Delaware; he moved to Virginia when he was four. WRONG: I put nonfat yogurt into that soup; I like Stephen King's books. In the first example, both parts of the sentence are about Grover's living arrangements. In the second, those two ideas are, to put it mildly, not in the same universe. (At least not until Stephen King writes a book about a killer container of yogurt. It could happen.) Some logical semi-colon sentences, just to give you some role models: Lulu visits that tattoo parlor regularly; when she retires she plans to start a second career as a tattoo designer. Griselda mowed the lawn yesterday; she cut the electric cord in half at least twice. Cedric thinks that iced tea is best when it tastes like battery acid; no one drinks anything at Cedric's house anymore. Lucilla detests purple pens; she's just torn up her vocabulary quiz because the teacher graded it in a lovely shade of lilac. The pearl box is harderwww.watchtvsitcoms.com to open than an oyster; here's a pair of pliers for the job.

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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Punctuate the following, adding or subtracting words as needed: Abner will clip the thorns from that rose stem he is afraid of scratching himself. Answer: Many combinations are possible: Abner will clip the thorns from that rose stem. He is afraid of scratching himself. Abner will clip the thorns from that rose stem; he is afraid of scratching himself. Abner will clip the thorns from that rose stem even though he is afraid of scratching himself. Abner will clip the thorns from that rose stem, but he is afraid of scratching himself.

Boss and Employee: Joining Ideas of Unequal Ranks In the average company, the boss runs the show. The boss has subordinates who play two important roles. They must do at least some work. They must also make the boss feel like the center of the universe. Leave the boss alone in the office, and everything's fine. Leave the employees alone in the office, and pretty soon someone is swinging from the chandelier. Some sentences resemble companies. The "boss" part of a sentence is all right by itself; it expresses a complete thought (independent clause). The "employee" can't stand alone; it's an incomplete thought (also known as a fragment or subordinate clause). For more information on independent and subordinate clauses see chapter 24. Together, the "boss" and the "employee" create a more powerful sentence. Check out some examples: BOSS: Mugwump ate the bagel. EMPLOYEE: After he had picked out all the raisins. JOINING 1: Mugwump ate the bagel after he had picked out all the raisins. JOINING 2: After he had picked out all the raisins, Mugwump ate the bagel. Try these on for size: BOSS: Lochness developed the secret microfilm. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

EMPLOYEE: Because he felt traitorous.

Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences www.watchtvsitcoms.com JOINING 1: Lochness developed the secret microfilm because he felt traitorous. JOINING 2: Because he felt traitorous, Lochness developed the secret microfilm. Here's another: BOSS: Lulu will be screaming at exactly six o'clock. EMPLOYEE: Although she often argues for a quiet environment. JOINING 1: Lulu will be screaming at exactly six o'clock, although she often argues for a quiet environment. JOINING 2: Although she often argues for a quiet environment, Lulu will be screaming at exactly six o'clock. And another example: BOSS: The book bag is in the dragon's cave. EMPLOYEE: that Ludwig lost JOINING: The book bag that Ludwig lost is in the dragon's cave. The joined example sentences are all grammatically legal because they all contain at least one complete thought (the boss, also known as an independent clause). In several of the sample sentences, the less important idea is connected to the rest of the sentence by a subordinate conjunction, indicating that the ideas are not of equal importance. See the next section for more information on subordinate conjunctions.

Choosing subordinate conjunctions The conjunctions in the boss-employee type of sentence do double duty. These conjunctions emphasize that one idea ("boss" or independent clause) is more important than the other ("employee" or subordinate clause), and they also give some information about the relationship between the two ideas. These conjunctions are called subordinate conjunctions. Here are some common subordinate conjunctions: while, because, although, though, since, when, where, if, whether, before, until, than, as, as if, in order that, so that, whenever, and wherever. (Whew!) Check out how subordinate conjunctions are used in these examples: Sentence 1: Michael was shaving, (not a very important activity) Sentence 2: The earthquake destroyed the city, (a rather important www.watchtvsitcoms.com event)

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Avoiding false joiners Some words appear to be strong enough to join sentences, but in reality they're just a bunch of 98-pound weaklings. Think of these words as guys who stuff socks in their sleeves, creating biceps without all the hassle of going to the gym. These fellows may look good, but the minute you need them to pick up a truck or

something, they're history. False joiners include however, consequently, therefore, moreover, also, and furthermore. Use these words to add meaning to your sentences but not to glue the sentences together. For more information on the proper placement and punctuation associated with these false joiners, see Chapter 15.

If these two sentences are joined as equals, the writer emphasizes both events: Michael was shaving, and the earthquake destroyed the city. Grammatically, the sentence is legal. Morally, this statement poses a problem. Do you really think that Michael's avoidance of five-o'clock shadow is equal in importance to an earthquake that measures seven on the Richter scale? Better to join these clauses as unequals, making the main idea about the earthquake the boss: While Michael was shaving, the earthquake destroyed the city. or The earthquake destroyed the city while Michael was shaving. The while gives you time information, attaches the employee sentence to the boss sentence, and shows the greater importance of the earthquake. Not bad for five letters. Here's another: Sentence 1: Esther must do her homework now. Sentence 2: Mom is on the warpath. In combining these two ideas, you have a few decisions to make. First of all, if you put them together as equals, the reader will wonder why you're mentioning both statements at the same time: Esther must do her homework now, but Mom is on the warpath. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences www.watchtvsitcoms.com This joining may mean that Mom is running around the house screaming at the top of her lungs. Although Esther has often managed to concentrate on her history homework while blasting Smashing Pumpkins tapes at mirrorshattering levels, she finds that concentrating is impossible during Mom's tantrums. Esther won't get anything done until Mom settles down with a cup of tea. That's one possible meaning of this joined sentence. But why leave your reader guessing? Try another joining: Esther must do her homework now because Mom is on the warpath. This sentence is much clearer: Esther's mother got one of those little pink notes from the teacher (Number of missing homeworks: 323). Esther knows that if she wants to survive through high-school graduation, she'd better get to work now. One more joining to check: Mom is on the warpath because Esther must do her homework now. Okay, in this version Esther's mother has asked her daughter to clean the garage. She's been asking Esther every day for the last two years. Now the health inspector is due and Mom's really worried. But Esther told her that she couldn't clean up now because she had to do her homework. World War III erupted immediately. Do you see the power of these joining words? These subordinate conjunctions strongly influence the meanings of the sentences.

Steering clear of fragments &

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Remember: Don't write a sentence without a "boss" or independent clause, the section that can stand alone as a complete sentence. If you leave an "employee" all by itself, you've got trouble. An "employee" all by itself is called a sentence fragment. A sentence fragment is any set of words that doesn't fit the definition of a complete sentence. Like run-on sentences, sentence fragments are felonies in formal English. Don't let the number of words in sentence fragments fool you. Not all sentence fragments are short, though some are. Decide by meaning, not by length. Here are some fragments, so you know what to avoid: When it rained pennies from heaven As if he were king of the world After the ball was over but before it was time to begin the first day of the rest of your life and all those other cliches that you hear every day in the subway on your way to work www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Whether Algernon likes it or not

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Because I said so Whether you like it or not, and despite the fact that you don't like it, although I am really sorry that you are upset If hell freezes over and so on. Which is a sentence fragment? Which is a complete sentence? Which is a comma splice (a run-on)? A. Cedric sneezed. B. Because Cedric sneezed in the middle of the opera, just when the main character removed that helmet with the little horns from on top of her head. C. Cedric sneezed, I pulled out a handkerchief. Answers: Sentence A is complete. Sentence B is not really a sentence; it's a fragment with no complete idea. Sentence C is a comma splice because it contains two complete thoughts joined only by a comma.

Employing Pronouns to Combine Sentences A useful trick for combining short sentences legally is "the pronoun connection." (A pronoun substitutes for a noun, which is a word for a person, place, thing, or idea. See Chapter 10 for more information.) Check out these combinations: Sentence 1: Amy read the book. Sentence 2: The book had a thousand pictures in it. Joining: Amy read the book that had a thousand pictures in it. Sentence 1: The paper map stuck to Wilbur's shoe. Sentence 2: We plan to use the map to take over the world. Joining: The paper map, which we plan to use to take over the world, stuck to Wilbur's shoe. Sentence 1: Margaret wants to hire a carpenter. Sentence 2: The carpenter will build a new ant farm for her pets. www.watchtvsitcoms.com Joining: Margaret wants to hire a carpenter who will build a new ant farm for her pets.

Chapter 7: Getting Hitched: Marrying Sentences www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Being that I like grammar Many people say being that to introduce a connection. They prefer to use since for time reason. Unfortunately, being thatls a grammat- statements: ical felony in the first degree (if there are I haven't seen the turkey since the ax came degrees of grammatical felonies — I'm a gramout of the box. marian, not a lawyer). Here's the issue: People use being that as a subordinate conjunction, but Since you've been gone, I've begun an being thatls not acceptable, at least in formal affair with Bill Bailey. English usage. Try because. For example: Another grammatical no-no is irregardless. I WRONG: Being that it was Thanksgiving, think irregardless Is popular because it's a long word that feels good when you say it. Those r's Mugwump bought a turkey. just roll right off the tongue. Sadly, irregardless RIGHT: Because it was Thanksgiving, is not a conjunction. It's not even a word, Mugwump bought a turkey. according to the rules of formal English. Use WRONG: The turkey shed a tear or two, regardless (not nearly so much fun to pronounce) or despite the fact that. being thatlt was Thanksgiving. RIGHT: The turkey shed a tear or two, because it was Thanksgiving. You may like the sound of since in the sample sentences. Increasingly, since is a synonym for because, and so far civilization as we know it hasn't crumbled. The grammarians who like to predict the end of the world because of such issues have a problem with the since/because

WRONG: Irregardless, we are going to eat you, you turkey! RIGHT: Regardless, we are going to eat you, you turkey! ALSO RIGHT: Despite the fact that you are a tough old bird, we are going to eat you, you turkey!

Sentence 1: Ludwig wants to marry Ludmilla. Sentence 2: He's been singing under her window. Joining: Ludwig, who has been singing under her window, wants to marry Ludmilla. Sentence 1: The tax bill was passed yesterday. Sentence 2: The tax bill will lower taxes for the top .00009% income bracket. Joining: The tax bill that was passed yesterday will lower taxes for the top .00009% income bracket. Alternate joining: The tax bill that was passed yesterday will lower taxes www.watchtvsitcoms.com for Bill Gates. (Okay, I interpreted a little.)

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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That, which, and who are pronouns. In the combined sentences, each takes the place of a noun. (That replaces book, which replaces map, who replaces carpenter, who replaces Ludwig, that replaces tax bill.) These pronouns serve as thumbtacks, attaching a subordinate or less important idea to the main body of the sentence. That, which, and who (as well as whom and whose) are pronouns that may relate one idea to another. When they do that job, they are called relative pronouns. Relative pronouns often serve as subjects or objects of the subordinate or dependent clause. For more information on clauses see Chapter 24. >ouiz

Combine these sentences with a pronoun. Sentence 1: Cedric slowly tiptoed toward the poisonous snakes. Sentence 2: The snakes soon bit Cedric right on the tip of his long red nose.

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Answer: Cedric slowly tiptoed toward the poisonous snakes, which soon bit Cedric right on the tip of his long red nose. The pronoun which replaces snakes in sentence 2. Combine these s;entences so that they flow smoothly. Sentence 1: Lochness slipped the microfilm into the heel of his shoe. Sentence 2: The shoe had been shined just yesterday by the superspy. Sentence 3: The superspy pretends to work at a shoeshine stand. Sentence 4: The superspy's name is unknown. Sentence 5: The superspy's code number is -4. Sentence 6: Lochness is terrified of the superspy. Answer: Dozens of joinings are possible. Here are two: Lochness slipped the microfilm into the heel of his shoe, which had been shined just yesterday by the superpy. The superspy, whose name is unknown but whose code number is -4, pretends to work at a shoeshine stand and terrifies Lochness. or After the shoe had been shined by the superspy, who pretends to work at a shoeshine stand, Lochness slipped the microfilm into the heel. Lochness is terrified by the superspy, whose name is unknown and whose code number is -4.

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Chapter 8

Do You Feel Bad or Badly? The Lowdown on Adjectives and Adverbs In This Chapter Identifying adjectives and adverbs Deciding whether an adjective or an adverb is appropriate Understanding why double negatives are wrong Placing descriptive words so that the sentence means what you intend

IMytih the right nouns (names of persons, places, things, or ideas) and ww verbs (action or being words) you can build a pretty solid foundation in a sentence. The key to expressing your precise thoughts is to choose the correct descriptive words to enhance your sentence's meaning. In this chapter I explain the two basic types of descriptive words of the English language — adjectives and adverbs. I also show you how to use each correctly to add meaning to your sentence. In case you doubt the significance of descriptive words, take a look at this sentence: Grunhilda sauntered past Lord and Taylor's when the sight of a Ferragamo Paradiso Pump paralyzed her. Will the reader fully comprehend the meaning of this sentence? What must the reader know in order to understand this sentence? Here's a list: I v0 The reader should know that Lord and Taylor's is a department store. f u* The reader should be able to identify Ferragamo as an upscale shoe label. %

| *> The reader should bewww.watchtvsitcoms.com familiar with a Paradiso Pump (a shoe style I | made up).

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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v* A good vocabulary — one that includes saunter and paralyze — is helpful. v0 A nice plus is some knowledge of Grunhilda and her obsession with the latest fashion in shoes. If all of those pieces are in place, or if the reader has a good imagination and the ability to use context clues in reading comprehension, your message will be understood. But sometimes you can't trust the reader to understand the specifics of what you're trying to say. In that case, descriptions are quite useful. Here's Grunhilda, version 2: Grunhilda walked slowly past the stately Lord and Taylor's department store when the sight of a fashionable, green, low-heeled dress shoe with the ultraouiz X, ^

Which sentence is correct? A. According to Elberg and she, the aardvark's nose is simply too long. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

B. According to Elberg and her, the aardvark's nose is simply too long.

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Answer: Sentence B is correct. According to is the preposition. The object of the preposition is Elberg and her. Her is an object pronoun. (She is a subject pronoun.) Most of the tough pronoun choices come when the sentence has more than one object of the preposition (Elberg and her, for example, in the pop quiz). Your "ear" for grammar will probably tell you the correct pronoun when the sentence has a single pronoun object. You probably wouldn't say according to she because it sounds funny (to use a technical term). If the sentence has more than one object of the preposition, try this rule of thumb — and I really mean thumb, at least when you're writing. Take your thumb and cover one of the objects. Say the sentence. Does it sound right? According to Elberg Okay so far. Now take your thumb and cover the other object. Say the sentence. Does it sound right? According to she Now do you hear the problem? Make the change: According to her Now put the two back together: According to Elberg and her This method is not foolproof, but chances are good that you'll get a clue to the correct pronoun choices if you check the objects one by one.

A good part of speech to end a sentence uiïthï As I write this paragraph, global warming is increasing, the stock market is sending out mixed signals, and the Yankees' pitching staff is in deep trouble. In the midst of all these earth-shattering events, some people still walk around worrying about where to put a preposition. Specifically, they (okay, I must admit that sometimes I, too) worry about whether or not ending a sentence with a preposition is acceptable. Let me illustrate the problem: Tell me whom he spoke about. Tell me about whom he spoke. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 9: Prepositions and Interjections and Articles, Oh My! Other Parts of Speech www.watchtvsitcoms.com Here's the verdict: Both sentences are correct, at least for most people and even for most grammarians. But not, I must warn you, for all. You know the kind of person who insisted on ignoring the celebrations at midnight on January 1, 2000, because technically the millennium didn't really start until January 1, 2001? The kind of person who is right, but completely out of step with the rest of the culture? Well, those people still tsk-tsk when they hear a sentence that ends with a preposition. The rest of us have gotten over it. Unless you're writing something for that kind of person, put the preposition wherever you like, including at the end of a sentence.

Interjections Are Easy! Yes! An English topic that is foolproof. Interjections are exclamations that often express intense emotion. These words or phrases aren't connected grammatically to the rest of the sentence. Check out these examples: Ouch! I caught my finger in the hatch of that submersible océanographie vessel. Curses, foiled again. Yes! We've finally gotten to a topic that is foolproof. Interjections may be followed by commas, but sometimes they're followed by exclamation points or periods. The separation by punctuation shows the reader that the interjection is a comment on the sentence, not a part of it. (Of course, in the case of the exclamation point or period, the punctuation mark also indicates that the interjection is not a part of the sentence at all.) You can't do anything wrong with interjections, except perhaps overuse them. Interjections are like salt. A little salt sprinkled on dinner perks up the taste buds; too much sends you to the telephone to order take-out.

Articles: Not Just (or Magazines Anymore Another topic, this time almost foolproof. Articles are those little words — a, an, the — that sit in front of nouns. In meaning, the is usually more specific than an or a. Sentence 1: Melanie wants the answer, and you'd better be quick about it. This statement means that Melanie is stuck on problem 12, and her mother won't let her go out until her homework is finished. A really good movie is www.watchtvsitcoms.com playing at the cineplex, and now she's on the phone, demanding the answer to number 12.

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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Sentence 2: Melanie wants an answer, and you'd better be quick about it. This statement means that Melanie simply has to have a date for the prom. She asked you a week ago, but if you're not going to be her escort, she'll ask someone else. She's lost patience, and she doesn't even care anymore whether you go or not. She just wants an answer.

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To sum up: Use the when you're speaking specifically and an or a when you're speaking more generally. The is called a definite article. A and an are called indefinite articles. A apple? An book? A precedes words that begin with consonant sounds (all the letters except a, e, i, o, and u). An precedes words beginning with the vowel sounds a, e, i, and o. The letter u is a special case. If the word sounds like you, choose a. If the word sounds like someone kicked you in the stomach — uh — choose an. Another special case is the letter h. If the word starts with a hard h sound, as in horse, choose a. If the word starts with a silent letter h, as in herb, choose an. Here are some examples: an aardvark (a = vowel) a belly (b = consonant) an egg (e = vowel) a UFO (£/sounds like you) an unidentified flying object (u sounds like uh) a helmet (hard h) an hour (silent h) Special note: Sticklers-for-rules say an historic event. The rest of us say a historic event.

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Chapter 10

Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors In This Chapter Pairing pronouns with nouns Distinguishing between singular and plural pronouns Understanding possessive pronouns Selecting non-sexist pronouns

Ji/ronouns are words that substitute for nouns. Even though they're useful, ¥ pronouns can also be pesky. You see, English has many different types of pronouns, each governed by its own set of rules. (See Chapters 4 and 6 for information on subject and object pronouns.) The whole topic of pronouns is enough to give you a headache, so get out your aspirin. In this chapter, I concentrate on how to avoid the most common errors associated with this part of speech.

Pairing Pronouns With Nouns To get started on everything you need to know about pronouns, take a close look at how pronouns are paired with nouns. A pronoun's meaning can vary from sentence to sentence. Think of pronouns as the ultimate substitute teachers. One day they're solving quadratic equations, and the next they're doing push-ups in the gym. Such versatility comes from the fact that pronouns don't have identities of their own; instead, they stand in for nouns. In a few very weird situations, pronouns stand in for other pronouns. I discuss pronoun-pronoun pairs later in this chapter.

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To choose the appropriate pronoun, you must consider the word that the pronoun is replacing. The word that the pronoun replaces is called the pronoun's antecedent. Identifying the pronoun-antecedent pair is really a matter of reading comprehension. If the sentence (or in some cases, the paragraph) doesn't make the pronoun-antecedent connection clear, the writing is faulty. Time to edit! But in most cases the meaning of the pronoun leaps off the page. Take a look at some examples: Hasenfeff stated his goals clearly: He wanted to take over the world. (The pronouns his and he refer to the noun Hasenfeff?) The lion with a thorn in her paw decided to wear sneakers the next time she went for a walk in the jungle. (The pronouns her and she in this sentence refer to the noun lion.} Our cause is just! Down with sugarless gum! We demand that all bubble gum be loaded with sugar! (The pronouns our and we refer to the speakers, who aren't named.) Tattered books will not be accepted because they are impossible to resell. (The pronoun they refers to the noun books?) Ludwig, who types five or six words a minute, is writing a new encyclopedia. (The pronoun who refers to Ludwig.} Ameba and / demand that the microscope be cleaned before we begin the exam. (The pronoun / refers to the speaker. The pronoun we refers to Ameba and /.) When analyzing a sentence, you seldom find a noun that's been replaced by the pronouns / and we. The pronoun / always refers to the speaker and we refers to the speaker and someone else. Similarly, the pronoun it sometimes has no antecedent: It is raining. It is obvious that Smyrna has not won the card-flipping contest. In the above sentences, it is just a place-filler, setting up the sentence for the true expression of meaning (First sample sentence: Take your umbrella and cancel the picnic. Second sample sentence: Smyrna's flipping hand is broken and she has lost all her baseball cards.) Sometimes the meaning of the pronoun is explained in a previous sentence: Thistle's ice cream cone is cracked. I don't want it. (The pronoun it refers to the noun cone?) www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors www.watchtvsitcoms.com Don't confuse its and it's. One is a possessive pronoun (its), and the other is a contraction (it's) meaning "it is." For more information on its and it's, see the discussion later in this chapter. Identify the pronouns and their antecedents in this paragraph: Cedric arrived at his mother's charity ball, although it was snowing and no taxis had stopped to pick him up. Once inside the ballroom, he glimpsed Lulu and her boyfriend dancing the tango. Their steps were strange indeed, for the orchestra was actually playing a waltz. As she sailed across the floor — her boyfriend had lost his grip — Lulu cried, "Help me!" Answer: Cedric arrived at his (Cedric's) mother's charity ball, although it (no antecedent) was snowing and no taxis had stopped to pick him (Cedric) up. Once inside the ballroom, he (Cedric) glimpsed Lulu and her (Lulu's) boyfriend dancing the tango. Their (Lulu and boyfriend's) steps were strange indeed, for the orchestra was actually playing a waltz. As she (Lulu) sailed across the floor — her (Lulu's) boyfriend had lost his (boyfriend's) grip — Lulu cried, "Help mer (Lulu).

Deciding between Singular and Plural Pronouns All pronouns are either singular or plural. Singular pronouns replace singular nouns, which are those that name one person, place, thing, or idea. Plural pronouns replace plural nouns — those that name more than one person, place, thing, or idea. (Grammar terminology has flair, doesn't it?) A few pronouns replace other pronouns; in those situations, singular pronouns replace other singular pronouns, and plurals replace plurals. You need to understand pronoun number — singulars and plurals — before you place them in sentences. Take a look at Table 10-1 for a list of some common singular and plural pronouns.

Table 10-1

Common Singular and Plural Pronouns

Singular

Plural

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(continued)

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Table 10-1 (continued) Singular

Plural

You

Yourself

Yourselves

He/She/It

They/Them

Himself/Herself/Itself

Themselves

Who

Which

That

Notice that some of the pronouns in Table 10-1 do double duty; they take the place of both singular and plural nouns or pronouns. (You think this double duty is a good idea? Hah! Wait until you get to the next chapter when you have to match singular and plural subjects with their verbs.) Most of the time choosing between singular and plural pronouns is easy. You're not likely to say Ludmilla tried to pick up the ski poles, but it was too heavy, because ski poles (plural) and it (singular) don't match. Automatically you say Ludmilla tried to pick up the ski poles, but they were too heavy.

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Matching ski poles with they should please your ear.

Goldilocks and the three there's They're putting all their bets on the horse over there. In other words, there is a place. Their shows ownership. They're is short for they are. Some examples: RIGHT: "They're too short," muttered Eggworthy as he eyed the strips of bacon. WHY IT IS RIGHT: They're means they are. RIGHT: "Why don't you take some longer strips from their plates," suggested Lola.

WHY IT IS RIGHT: The plates belong to them— expressed by the possessive pronoun their. RIGHT: "My arm is not long enough to reach over there," sighed Eggworthy. WHY IT IS RIGHT: There is a place (a place Eggworthy can't reach).

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www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors

If you're learning English as a second language, your ear for the language is still in training. Put it on an exercise regimen of at least an hour a day of careful listening. A radio station or a television show in which reasonably educated people are speaking will help you to train your ear. You'll soon become comfortable hearing and choosing the proper pronouns.

Usina Singular and Pturai Possessive Pronouns Possessive pronouns — those all-important words that indicate who owns what — also have singular and plural forms. You need to keep them straight. Table 10-2 helps you identify each type. Table 10-2

Singular and Plural Possessive Pronouns

Singular

Plural

our

mine

ours

your

yours

his

their/theirs

her

their

hers

theirs

its

their

whose

Do you have an its problem? I'm not talking about a poison ivy rash that you need to scratch all the time. I'm talking about a possessive pronoun and a contraction (a shortened word in which an apostrophe substitutes one or more letters). In other words, do you know the difference between its and it's? Its shows possession: The computer has exploded, and its screen is now decorating the ceiling. It's means it is:

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It's raining cats and dogs, but I don't see any alligators.

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An act of parliament For centuries the words they and their were allowed to refer to both singular and plural words. Such usage meant that the writer or speaker didn't have to make a gender choice because refer soecificallv Because their their didn't am t refer specifically to to either either men or women. But the f act that #7e/r could be both singular and plural bothered grammarian John Kirby, who declared in 1746thatthe male gender was more universal than the female gender. Kirby made up a new rule saying that male terms should always be understood to include the female. (In

other words, when you want to talk about someone in a mixed-gender group,/?e and/ws are the words you need.) +.. .. ,, ,. . . , c . n .. Enter P a r , , a m e n t t n e c m e f ' law-making body of . Parliament h Brf h £ j / ^ .. .J\ ,. ' passed a law stating that masculine terms were always to be read as including females. Parliament actually enacted an official grammar rule! (If they had time for grammar, I wonder what they were neglecting.) Now if I could just get the misuse of whom declared a felony....

So it's nice to know that grammar has its own rules. By the way, one of those rules is that no possessive pronoun ever has an apostrophe. Ever. Never. Never ever. Remember: If it owns something, dump the apostrophe. Here are some additional examples: WRONG: Its a rainy day, and Lochness's dog is getting tired of plopping it's paws into puddles. WHY IT IS WRONG: The first its should be It's because it is a rainy day. The second its shouldn't have an apostrophe because no possessive pronoun ever has an apostrophe. RIGHT: It's a rainy day, and Lochness's dog is getting tired of plopping its paws into puddles. ALSO RIGHT: It's a rainy day, and Lochness's dog is getting tired of plopping AIIS paws into puddles. WHY THE "ALSO RIGHT" SENTENCE IS ALSO RIGHT: It and its may refer to animals, but many people prefer to use he, she, his, and her for pets. Of course, Lochness's pet scares just about everyone, and because of all the animal hair, no one knows whether it is a he or a she. Personally, I'm going with it and its. WRONG: Its paws wrapped in towels, Lochness's dog seems to be thinking that its time for a new bone. WHY IT IS WRONG: The first its is okay because the paws belong to the dog. The second its needs an apostrophe because it is time. RIGHT: Its paws wrapped in towels, Lochness's dog seems to be thinking that it's time for a new bone. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors

Positioning Pronoun-Antecedent Pairs .SttNG/

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Keep the pronoun and its antecedent near each other. Often, but not always, they appear in the same sentence. Sometimes they're in different sentences. Either way, the idea is the same: If the antecedent of the pronoun is too far away, the reader or listener may become confused. Check out this example: Bogsroyal picked up the discarded paper. Enemy ships were all around, and the periscope's lenses were blurry. The sonar pings sounded like a Mozart sonata, and the captain's hangnails were acting up again. Yet even in the midst of such troubles, Bogsroyal was neat. It made the deck look messy. It? What's the meaning of it? You almost have to be an FBI decoder to find the partner of it (paper). Try the paragraph again. Enemy ships were all around, and the periscope's lenses were blurry. The sonar pings sounded like a Mozart sonata, and the captain's hangnails were acting up again. Yet even in the midst of such troubles, Bogsroyal was neat. He picked up the discarded paper. It made the deck look messy.

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Now the antecedent and pronoun are next to each other. Much better! Rewrite these sentences, moving the pronoun and antecedent closer together. Bogsroyal pulled out his handkerchief, given to him by Loella, the love of his life. He sniffed. His sinuses were acting up again. The air in the submarine was stale. He blew his nose. She was a treasure. Answer: Several possibilities exist. The most important correction involves Loella and she, now too far apart. Here is one answer: Bogsroyal pulled out his handkerchief, given to him by Loella, the love of his life. She was a treasure. He sniffed. His sinuses were acting up again. The air in the submarine was stale. He blew his nose.

Some believe that position alone is enough to explain a pronoun-antecedent pairing. It's true that a pronoun is more likely to be understood if it's placed near the word it represents. In fact, you should form your sentences so that the pairs are neighbors. However, position isn't always enough to clarify the meaning of a pronoun. The best way to clarify the meaning of a pronoun is to make sure that only one easily identifiable antecedent may be represented by each pronoun. If your sentence is about two females, don't use she. Provide an extra noun to clarify your meaning. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Look at this sentence: Hortensia told her mother that she was out of cash. Who is out of cash? The sentence has one pronoun — she — and two females {Hortensia, Hortensia's mother). She could refer to either of the two nouns. The rule here is simple: Be sure that your sentence has a clear, understandable pronoun-antecedent pair. If you can interpret the sentence in more than one way, rewrite it, using one or more sentences until your meaning is clear: Hortensia said, "Mom, can I have your ATM card? I looked in the cookie jar and you're out of cash." or Hortensia saw that her mother was out of cash and told her so. What does this sentence mean? Alexander and his brother went to Arthur's birthday party, but he didn't have a good time. A. Alexander didn't have a good time. B. Alexander's brother didn't have a good time. C. Arthur didn't have a good time. Answer: Who knows? Rewrite the sentence, unless you're talking to someone who was actually at the party and knows that Arthur got dumped by his girlfriend just before his chickenpox rash erupted and the cops arrived. If your listener knows all that, the sentence is fine. If not, here are a few possible rewrites: Alexander and his brother went to Arthur's party. Arthur didn't have a good time. or Arthur didn't have a good time at his own birthday party, even though Alexander and his brother attended. or Alexander and his brother went to Arthur's party, but Arthur didn't have a good time. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Avoiding Common Pronoun Errors Most of the time, determining whether a pronoun should be singular or plural is easy. Just check the noun that acts as the antecedent, and bingo, you're done. But sometimes a pronoun takes the place of another pronoun. The pronouns being replaced are particularly confusing because they're singular, even though they look plural. In this section I tackle the hard cases, showing you how to handle these tricky pronouns. I also show you how to avoid sexist pronoun usage.

Usina troublesome singular pronouns property Everybody, somebody, and no one (not to mention nothing and everyoney. These words should be barred from the English language. Why? Because matching these pronouns to other pronouns is a problem. If you match correctly, your choices sound wrong. But if you match incorrectly, you sound right. Sigh. Here's the deal. All of these pronouns are singular: v0 The "ones": one, everyone, someone, anyone, no one. u0 The "things": everything, something, anything, nothing. u0 The "bodies": everybody, somebody, anybody, nobody. u0 And a few more: each, either, neither. These pronouns don't sound singular. Everybody and everyone sound like a crowd. If you didn't leave anyone out, if you included everyone or everybody, how can you be talking about a singular word? Well, you are. The logic (yes, logic applies, even though English grammar rules don't always bother with logic) is that everyone talks about the members of a group one by one. You follow this logic, probably unconsciously, when you choose a verb. You don't say Everyone are here. Let the party begin! You do say Everyone is here. Let the party begin! Picking the correct verb comes naturally, but picking the correct pronoun doesn't. Check out this pair: Everyone was asked towww.watchtvsitcoms.com bring their bubble gum to the bubble-popping contest.

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Everyone was asked to bring his or her bubble gum to the bubblepopping contest. Which one sounds right? The first one, I bet. Unfortunately, the second one is correct, formal English. The bottom line: When you need to refer to "ones," "things," "bodies," and so on in formal English, choose singular pronouns to match (he/she, his/her) and avoid using "their." Which sentence is correct? A. Matilda the lifeguard says that nobody should wear their earplugs in the pool in case shark warnings are broadcast. B. Matilda the lifeguard says that nobody should wear his or her earplugs in the pool in case shark warnings are broadcast. Answer: Sentence B is correct. Nobody is singular. His or her is singular. Their is plural. I know, I know, the sentence sounds horrible. Once upon a time, sentence A would've been accepted, even by authors that English teachers love, such as Shakespeare and Jane Austen. A little more than 100 years ago, however, sentence A was arrested by the grammar police. Now B is correct and A is not. (In conversational English, sentence A abounds. Actually, it abounds in formal English also; it's wrong in both.) Try another. Which sentence is correct? A. Each of the computers popped its disk drive when the doughnut cream dripped in. B. Each of the computers popped their disk drives when the doughnut cream dripped in. Answer: Sentence A is correct. The pronoun ite refers to each of the computers. Each is singular, all the time. Think of each as converting a group of computers into one computer, followed by another, then another, and so on. Each makes you consider the computers one by one. Thus its — the singular pronoun — is correct. Try one more. Which sentence is correct? A. I'm sorry that somebody lost their bookbag, but I've lost my mind! B. I'm sorry that somebody lost his or her bookbag, but I've lost my mind! Answer: Sentence B is correct in formal English because somebody is singular and should be matched with a singular pronoun (his or her), not with a plural pronoun (their). www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 10: Everyone Brought Their Homework: Pronoun Errors

Sex or gender? The word gender used to refer only to words. what they start thinking about when they reach For example, the gender of his is male, and puberty. Enter gender. The word already signithe gender of her is female. The word that fied the difference between his and hers, but it describes male or female identity — the Ifs a had the advantage of being separate from physboy! Ifs a girl! birth announcements sort of ical pleasure. identity — is sex. But as everyone over the age At least once a month for a few years, every of two minutes knows (okay, maybe not two article on feminism in my local newspaper (The minutes, but at a very young age) sex may also New York Times) was followed by a letter from refer to an activity that greatly interests the an outraged grammarian. The letters would say human race. something like "You advocate gender equality In the late twentieth century, feminists and but the word gender is an attribute of a word, others began to analyze the way men and not of a paycheck. You should advocate sexual women were treated by society, the way men equality." After a few more tsk-tsks, the writer and women related to each other, and many would cite the dictionary and sign off. similar topics. To speak of sex in reference to Despite all of those outraged grammarians (or these topics was correct according to the dicperhaps because of them), the word genderleft tionary definition of sex. Naturally, the word sex the dictionary and settled comfortably into its sometimes caused participants in those very new meaning. Gender is now accepted as a serious discussions to stop thinking about socigrammar term, designating male and female. etal roles and start thinking about, well, sex. Gender is also accepted when it sorts people, A new word was clearly needed — one that societal roles, and anything else into male and distinguished between boy/girl identity and female categories.

Steering clear of sexist pronouns In preparing to write this section, I typed "pronoun + gender" into a Web search engine and then clicked "search." I wanted a tidbit or two from the Internet about the use of non-sexist language. I got more than a tidbit. In fact, I got over 700,000 hits. I can't believe that so many people are talking about pronouns! Actually, talking is not quite the appropriate word. Arguing, warring, facing off, cursing, and a few other less polite terms come to mind. Here's the problem. For many years, the official rule was that masculine terms (those that refer to men) could refer to men only or could be universal, referring to both men and women. This rule is referred to as the masculine universal. Here's an example. In an all-female gym class the teacher would say: Everyone must bring her gym shorts tomorrow. and in an all-male gym class, the teacher would say, www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Everyone must bring his gym shorts tomorrow.

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Employing the masculine universal, in a mixed male and female gym class, the teacher would say, Everyone must bring his gym shorts tomorrow. Judging by the Internet, the battles over this pronoun issue aren't likely to be over in the near future. My advice? I think you should say he or she and his or her-when grammar requires such terms. The masculine universal excludes females and may offend your audience. However, you may say, Everyone must bring his or her gym shorts. or Everyone must bring his gym shorts. or All the students must bring their gym shorts. or Bring your gym shorts, you little creeps! All of these example sentences are grammatically correct.

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Chapter 11

Just Nod Your Head: About Agreement In This Chapter !• Distinguishing singular verb forms from plural verb forms fc- Matching the subject to the verb *• Choosing the correct verb forms for questions and negative statements & Knowing when to pay attention to prepositional phrases ft* Matching verbs to difficult subjects

^ ^ o l l y w o o d filmmakers and about a million songwriters have tried to con¥ m vince the public that opposites attract. Grammarians have clearly not gotten that message! Instead of opposites, the English language prefers matching pairs. Matching, in grammar terminology, is called agreement. In this chapter, I explain agreement in number — the singular or plural quality of a word. Here's the rule: You must match singular elements with other singular elements, and you must pair plurals with other plurals. In this chapter, I show you how to make subjects and verbs agree. I tackle this issue in a couple of tenses and in questions, and then I show you some special cases — treacherous nouns and pronouns that are often mismatched.

Writing Singular and Plural Verbs If you're a native speaker of English, you correctly match singular and plural subjects and verbs most of the time. Your ear for proper language effortlessly creates these subject-verb pairs. Helping you along with this task is the fact that in most tenses, you use exactly the same form for both singular and plural verbs. In this section I show you the forms that don't change and the ones that do. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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The unchanqeabtes When you're writing or speaking regular verbs in simple past, simple future, past perfect, and future perfect tense, this topic is almost a free pass. (Some of the progressive forms change; see the next section for more detail.) The non-progressive forms of these verbs don't change. Here are some samples, all with the regular verb to snore, of tenses that use the same form for both singular and plural subjects. Ludwig snored constantly, but his cousins snored only on national holidays. (The simple past tense verb snored matches both the singular subject Ludwig and the plural subject cousins.) Ludmilla will snore if she eats cheese before bedtime, but her bridesmaids will snore only after a meal containing sardines. (The simple future tense verb will snore matches both the singular subject Ludmilla and the plural subject bridesmaids.) Cedric had snored long before his tonsils were removed by that sabertoothed tiger. The tigers had snored nightly before they met Cedric. (The past perfect verb had snored matches both the singular subject Cedric and the plural subject tigers.) By the time this chapter is over, Lola will have snored for at least an hour, and her friends will have snored for an even longer period. (The future perfect verb will have snored matches both the singular subject Lola and the plural subject friends.) For more information on verb tenses, see Chapter 3.

The changeantes Have you just resolved to speak only in those unchanging tenses? Sorry! You won't be able to keep to that resolution. The other tenses are crucial to your communication skills. But take heart. You need to know only a few principles to identify singular and plural verbs.

Simple present tenses In simple present tense, nearly all the regular verb forms are the same for both singular and plural. If the subject of the sentence is /, we, or you, don't worry. They all use the same verb, and number isn't an issue. (I snore, we snore, you snore.) In choosing simple present tense verbs, you do have to be careful when the subject is a singular noun (Lola, tribe, motorcycle, loyalty, and so on) or a plural noun (planes, trains, automobiles, and so on). You also have to be on www.watchtvsitcoms.com your toes when the subject is a pronoun that replaces a singular noun

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 11: Just Nod Your Head: About Agreement

(he, she, it, another, someone, and so on). Finally, you have to take care when the subject is a pronoun that replaces a plural noun (they, both, several, and so on). To boil all this down to a simpler rule: Be careful when your sentence is talking about someone or something. You don't need to worry about subject-verb agreement in sentences in which the subject is /, you, or we. For sentences that talk about someone or something, here's how to tell the difference between the singular and plural forms of a regular verb: The singular verb ends in 5 and the plural form doesn't. Here are some examples of simple present tense regular verbs: Singular

Plural

the tiger bites

the tigers bite

Lulu rides

they ride

she screams

the boys scream

Lochness burps

both burp

When in Rome and Greece: Classical plurals Granted, the Coliseum is a magnificent sight, and the Greek myths are pretty cool. But those languages! Thanks to the ancient Romans and Greeks, a number of English words form their plurals in a strange way. Here are some singular/plural pairs: V Alumnus/alumni: The singular, alumnus, is a masculine term. The plural may refer to groups of males, or, if you accept the masculine term as universal, alumni may refer to both males and females. (See Chapter 10.) J*** Alumna/alumnae: The singular, alumna, is a feminine term. The plural refers to groups of females, though some speakers protest the masculine universal by using alumnae for both males and females.

u* Parenthesis/parentheses: (This sentence is in parenthesis, but I try not to write with too many parentheses because readers find more than three parentheses confusing.) f " Datum/data: Technically, data is the plural of datum and takes a plural verb (the data are clear). However, more and more people are matching data with a singular verb (the data is clear). To be correct and to impress all your grammarian friends, match data with a plural verb. u* Phenomenon/phenomena: The singular term is phenomenon, a noun meaning "a marvel, a special occurrence or event" The plural term is phenomena, correct but so obscure nowadays that my computer thesaurus keeps trying to change it to phenomenon.

v* Analysis/analyses: Analysis is the singular, meaning "a course of psychological therapy" or, more generally, "a serious investigation or examination." The plural changes www.watchtvsitcoms.com the /to e.

Part II: Avoiding Common Errors

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You guys understand, don't you? You may have noticed that the word youis both singular and plural. I can say, Y

"' to Eggworthy when he is dancing around wearing only blue dye. I can also say, You are crazy. . „ ... . . ... . . , .. to all those people who think Martians constructed the pyramids. In either case, I use the plural form of the verb (are). The fact that you is both singular and plural may be responsible for the popularity of such terms as you all, y'all,

youse (very big in New York City), you guys (ditto), and you people. These terms are colorful but not correct in formal English. Use you for both singular and plural subjects, and if you care enough, make the meaning clear with context clues: Today you must all wear clothes to the Introduction to Nudism class because the . . . . "I must have you and only you!" cried Ludwig to his soon-to-be sixth wife.

Progressive tenses Progressive tenses — those that contain an -ing verb form — may also cause singular/plural problems. These tenses rely on the verb to be, a grammatical weirdo that changes drastically depending on its subject. Just be sure to match the subject to the correct form of the verb to be. (See Chapter 3 for all the forms of to be.) Check out these examples of progressive verbs: is0 Singular present progressive: I am biting, you are biting, Agwamp is biting, no one is biting u* Plural present progressive: We are biting, you are biting, the tigers are biting, they are biting. v* Singular past progressive: I was biting, you were biting, Agwamp was biting, no one was biting. u* Plural past progressive: We were biting, you were biting, the tigers were biting, both were biting. In case you're wondering about the future progressive, I'll mention the good news: This one never changes! Singular and plural forms are the same (I will be biting, we will be biting, and so on). No problems here.

Present perfect and future perfect tenses The present perfect and future perfect tenses (both progressive and nonprogressive) contain forms of the verb to have. Use have when the subject is /, you, or a plural noun or pronoun. Use has when you're talking about a singular noun or pronoun that may replace the singular noun. Some examples: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 11: Just Nod Your Head: About Agreement www.watchtvsitcoms.com v* Singular present perfect: I have bitten, I have been biting, you have bitten, you have been biting, Agwamp has bitten, Lola has been biting, she has bitten, everyone has been biting. u* Plural present perfect: We have bitten, we have been biting, you have bitten, you have been biting, the tigers have bitten, the tigers have been biting, several have bitten, they have been biting.

Easier Than Marriage Counseling: Making Subjects and Verbs Agree Once you're able to tell a singular from a plural verb (see previous section), you can concentrate on matchmaking. Remember that you must always pair singular subjects with singular verbs, and plural subjects with plural verbs. No mixing allowed. Notice how in these sample sentences, singular subjects are matched with singular verbs, and plural subjects are matched with plural verbs: The ugly lawn gnome loves the lovely plastic elf. (gnome = singular subject, loves = singular verb) The lovely plastic elf is pining after the ugly lawn gnome. (elf= singular subject, is pining = singular verb) The weeds are a problem to this unhappy couple, (weeds = plural subject, are = plural verb) The hedge clippers are their only hope! (clippers = plural subject, are = plural verb) We plan to start clipping on St. Valentine's Day. (we = plural subject, plan = plural verb) How did I know that the subject-verb pairs were either singular or plural? 1 determined the number of subjects performing the action and then matched the verbs. Here are some steps to take in order to make sure that your subjects and verbs agree: 1. Pop the question to find the verb. (See Chapter 2.) 2. Pop the question to find the subject. (See Chapter 4.) 3. Determine whether the subject is singular or plural. 4. Match the appropriatewww.watchtvsitcoms.com verb: singular verb to singular subject, plural verb to plural subject.

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*.ONS

Time isn't money, but in grammar, they're both singular Time and money are the same, at least in grammar. In grammar, you count them as one single quantity, not as separate units. Thus,

One exception to the rule occurs when you talk about money as a physical thing — pieces of paper or metal. For example,

Fifty minutes is not enough for a television news show about Lochness.

Fifty dollars are taped to the wall behind Lochness's cash register because he thinks that such a display is "classy."

A hundred dollars was a powerful temptation to Analivia, and she decided to allow the giant computer company to use her latest equation.

One hundred francs were dropped, one by one and with great ceremony, into the child's piggybank.

Choosing Verbs for Tu/o Subjects Sentences with two subjects joined by and take a plural verb, even if each of the two subjects is singular. (Think of math: one + one = two. One subject + one subject = plural subject.) Here are some sample sentences with subjects joined by the word and: The lawnmower and the hedge clipper are their salvation, (lawnmower + clipper = plural subject, are = plural verb) The ugly lawn gnome and the lovely plastic elf belong together, (gnome + elf= plural subject, belong = plural verb) Romance and lawn care do not mix well, (romance + lawn care = plural subject, do mix = plural verb)

>QUIZ

Subjects joined by or, like subjects joined by either/or, may take either a singular or a plural verb. See Chapter 21. Which sentence is correct? A. Lubdub and his co-conspirator plan to steal the lawn ornament. B. Lubdub and his co-conspirator plans to steal the lawn ornament. Answer: Sentence A is correct. The subject is Lubdub and his co the Congo Is the part of the name? Usually not, even when it's hard to imagine the name without it. In general, don't capitalize the. When the name doesn't appear, lowercase geographical features: u* mountain *> valley * gorge u0 beach

An exception to the rule on country names In general, you should capitalize the names of countries and languages. One exception to this rule: A few countries have kindly lent their names to common objects: trench fries, scotch whiskey, Venetian blinds, and so forth. By attaching itself to a common object, the language or country name takes on a new meaning. The name no longer makes the reader think of the country or language. Instead, the reader simply thinks of an everyday object. In situations such as this, the country or language name loses its capital letter. For example: The people of France speak French, but they eat trench fries. (The expression french fries refers to common objects, associated more with fast food outlets than with the country of France.) I love French food. (Now French refers to the country, not to a common object.) The people of China have probably never heard of Chinese checkers. (The expression Chinese checkers refers to a game, not to the country of China.) I love Chinese food. (Now Chinese refers to the country.) Do Turks dry themselves with turkish towels? (The expression turkish towels refers www.watchtvsitcoms.com to household items, not to the country of Turkey.)

Chapter 16: CAPITAL LETTERS

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If you're not sure whether or not to capitalize the geographical part of a common item, use a capital letter. Correct the capitalization in this paragraph. When Alex sent his little brother Abner to Italy, Abner vowed to visit mount Vesuvius. Alex asked Abner to bring back some Venetian blinds, but Abner returned empty-handed. "Let's go out for Chinese food," said Abner when he returned. "Some sesame noodles will cheer me up." Here is the answer, with explanations in parentheses: When Alex sent his little brother Abner to Italy (correct — country name), Abner vowed to visit Mount Vesuvius (capitalize the entire name of the mountain). Alex asked Abner to bring back some Venetian blinds (correct — lower case for the name of a common object), but Abner returned empty-handed. "Let's go out for Chinese food (because this isn't the name of one specific item, such as french fries, capitals are better)," said Abner when he returned. "Some sesame noodles will cheer me up."

lackiina race and ethnicity If you come from Tasmania, you're Tasmanian. If you come from New York, you're a New Yorker. (Don't ask me about Connecticut; I've never been able to get an answer, though I've asked everyone I know from that state.) Those examples of capitalization are easy. But what about race and ethnicity? As the names change, so do the grammar books. But grammar authorities are always a little behind on this topic. Like everyone else, grammarians struggle to overcome the legacy of a racist society and its language. Here are some guidelines concerning capitalization and race: u* White and Black (or white and black) are acceptable, but be consistent. Don't capitalize one and not the other. Always capitalize Asian because the term is derived from the name of a continent. v0 European American, Asian American, African American (and the less popular Afro-American) are all in capitals. W Mexican American, Polish American, and other descriptions of national origin are written with capital letters because the terms are derived from country names. *> To hyphenate or not to hyphenate, that is the question. Afro-American is generally written with a hyphen. As for terms such as Asian American, Mexican American, African American, and the like, the answer depends the hyphen, American is the primary word, on your politics. Without www.watchtvsitcoms.com described by the word that precedes it. So without the hyphen, you emphasize the identity of American. With the hyphen, both words are equal, so both parts of the identity have equal importance.

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Marking Seasons and Other Times Lochness hates the summer because of all the tourists who try to snap pictures of what he calls "an imaginary monster." He's been known to roar something about "winter's peaceful mornings, " even though he never wakes up before 3p.m. After reading the preceding example, you can probably figure out this rule without me. Write the seasons of the year in lower case, as well as the times of day. The only exception is in poetry, but everyone knows that poets make up their own rules, so those exceptions don't count. I have good news and bad news about the abbreviations for morning and afternoon — a.m. and p.m. Some books tell you to capitalize them (A.M. and P.M.) and some specify lower case. So no matter what you do, half your readers will think you're right (the good news) and half will think you're wrong (the bad news). By the way, a.m. stands for ante meridian (when the sun hasn't yet reached its highest point). The other term — p.m. — stands for post meridian, when the sun has passed its highest point in the sky. The abbreviations for a.m. and p.m. come from Latin, in which ante and post mean before and after.

Schooling: Courses, \lears, and Subjects As every student knows, school is complicated. So is the rule concerning the capitalization of school-related terms. Don't capitalize subjects and subject areas unless the names refer to a language. Check out these examples: v0 history u0 science u0 physics u0 mathematics u0 English v0 Spanish v0 physical education V economics

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Chapter 16: CAPITAL LETTERS

On the other hand, capitalize the titles of courses. Here are some examples: J> Economics 101 u0 Math for Poets v0 Intermediate Chemistry u0 Physics for Nuclear Terrorists u0 Spanish Translation and You! u0 The Meaning of the Paper Clip in American History The years in school, while interminable and incredibly important, are not capitalized. v0 seventh grader u0 eighth grader v0 freshman v0 sophom*ore v0 junior i> senior Correct the capitalization in this paragraph. Hurrying to his Chemistry class, Kneejerk slipped on the ice on the very first day of his Senior year. He was carrying a small jar of purple crystals, which, when added to water, were guaranteed to produce dense, purple smoke. Kneejerk wanted to impress the love of his life, Freshman Lilac Jones, who had enrolled in history of the ancient world with Professor Krater. Lilac's class, deep in the study of history, never knew the peril they had escaped. Answer: Here's the correct version, with the reasons in parentheses: Hurrying to his chemistry (don't capitalize subjects) class, Kneejerk slipped on the ice on the very first day of his senior year (never capitalize years in school). He was carrying a small jar of purple crystals, which, when added to water, were guaranteed to produce dense, purple smoke. Kneejerk wanted to impress the love of his life, freshman (never capitalize years in school) Lilac Jones, who had enrolled in History of the Ancient World (capitalize course titles) with Professor Krater. Lilac's class, deep in the study of history (this one is correct — lower case for subject areas), never knew the peril they had escaped. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Writing Capitals in Book and Other Titles Lochness is hosting a book party to celebrate the publication of his new book, I AM NOT A MONSTER. He has postponed the party three times because he can't decide how to capitalize the title. What should he do? Actually, he should scrap the book, which consists of 540 pages of unbelievably boring detail about his humdrum life. Apart from that issue, here's what Lochness should do: J> Capitalize / and Monster. I is always upper case and Monster is an important word. Also, / i s the first word of the title, and the first word of the title is always capitalized. u0 Capitalize Am because it's a verb, and verbs are at the heart of the title's meaning. (See Chapter 2.) u0 Capitalize Not because it changes the meaning of the verb and thus has an important job to do in the sentence. u0 Lowercase the only word left — a. Never capitalize articles (a, an, and the) unless they're the first words in the title. Do you see the general principles that I've applied? Here is a summary of the rules for all sorts of titles: I u0 Capitalize the first word in the title. f

! J> Capitalize verbs and other important words. u0 Lowercase unimportant words. The problem, of course, is deciding what is important and what is unimportant. Authorities vary. (See the sidebar on manuals of style at the end of this chapter.) In the following list, I summarize the general principles for deciding what's important and unimportant (for words that aren't at the beginning of the title): v0 Lowercase articles Ça, an, the). u0 Lowercase conjunctions, the connecting words (and, or, but, nor, for). v0 In general, lowercase prepositions. Some style manuals say that you should capitalize long prepositions — those with more than four letters. Others tell you to lowercase all prepositions, even the huge ones {concerning, according to, and so on). See Chapter 9 for a list of common prepositions. Bottom line: Check with your immediate authority (editor, boss, teacher, and so on) to make sure that you write in the style to which he or she is www.watchtvsitcoms.com accustomed.

Chapter 16: CAPITAL LETTERS

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When writing the title of a magazine or newspaper, should you capitalize the word the? Yes, if the is part of the official name, as in The New York Times. No, if the publication doesn't include the in its official name, as in the Daily News. Which words should you capitalize in these titles? the importance of being lochness romeo and lulu slouching towards homework Answers: The Importance of Being Lochness (The is the first word of the title. Importance, Being, and Lochness are important words. Lowercase of because it's not an important word.) Romeo and Lulu (Romeo is the first word of the title and is also a name. Similarly, Lulu is a name. Lowercase and because it's not an important word.) Slouching Towards Homework (Slouching is the first word of the title. Homework is important. Towards can go either way. It's a preposition — a relationship word — and thus may be lower case, at least according to some grammarians. It's also a long word, which makes it suitable for capitalization in the opinion of other grammarians.)

Concerning Historic Capitals: Events and Eras Bobo entered her time machine and set the dial for the Middle Ages. Because of a tiny glitch in the power supply, Bobo instead ended up right in the middle of the Industrial Revolution. Fortunately for Bobo, the Industrial Revolution did not involve a real war. Bobo still shudders when she remembers her brief stint in the Civil War. She is simply not cut out to be a fighter, especially not a fighter in the nineteenth century. On the next Fourth of July, Bobo plans to fly the bullet-ridden flag she brought back from the Battle of Gettysburg. The story of Bobo's adventures should make the rules concerning the capitalization of historic events and eras easy. Capitalize the names of specific time periods and events but not general words. Hence W Capitalized: Middle Ages, Industrial Revolution, Civil War, Fourth of July, www.watchtvsitcoms.com Battle of Gettysburg J> Lowercase: war, nineteenth century

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Some grammarians capitalize Nineteenth Century because they see it as a specific time period. Others say that you should lowercase numbered centuries. I prefer to lowercase the century. OUIZ

Correct the capitalization in this paragraph. Bobo has never met Marie Antoinette, but Bobo is quite interested in the French revolution. With her trusty time-travel machine, Bobo tried to arrive in the Eighteenth Century, just in time for Bastille Day. However, once again she missed her target and landed in the middle of the first crusade. Answer, with explanations in parentheses: Bobo has never met Marie Antoinette, but Bobo is quite interested in the French Revolution. (Capitalize the name of a war.) With her trusty timetravel machine, Bobo tried to arrive in the eighteenth century, (Optional, but most grammarians write numbered centuries in lower case.) just in time for Bastille Day. (Correct. Capitalize the names of important days.) However, once again she missed her target and landed in the middle of the First Crusade. (Capitalize the name of the war.)

If U Cn M Ths, U Cn Abbreviate Faster! Faster! You're falling behind! Does that message sound familiar? Or am I the only one who sees life as an out-of-control train? I suspect that everyone occasionally feels the need to speed things up — when listening to a lecture on the joys of grammar, for example. I can't cite a historical source, but I suspect that abbreviations stem from the need to get-it-over-with-quickly. Why spend eleven letters when two will do the job? Why write New York City when you can write N. Y.C. ? Why? Well, for several reasons. First of all, you want people to understand you. The first time you saw e.g., did you know that it meant for example? If so, fine. If not, you probably didn't understand what the author was trying to say. Second, abbreviations clash with formal writing. Formal writing implies thought and care, not haste. Now that you know why you shouldn't abbreviate, here's how to do so correctly: v* Capitalize abbreviations for titles and end the abbreviation with a period. For example, Mrs. Snodgrass, Rev. Tawkalot, Sen. Veto, Jeremiah Jones, Jr., and St. Lucy. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Chapter 16: CAPITAL LETTERS

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^ In Britain, omitting the period after Mr, Mrs, and Ms is acceptable. ^ Capitalize geographic abbreviations when they're part of a name but not when they're alone. Put a period at the end of the abbreviation: Appalachian Mts. or Amazon R., for example. On a map you may write mt. (mountain). v* The United States Postal Service has devised a list of two-letter state abbreviations. Don't put periods in these abbreviations. Examples: AZ (Arizona), CO (Colorado), WY (Wyoming), and so on. u* Write measurements in lower case and end the abbreviation with a period. (Metric abbreviations are sometimes written without periods.) For example: • yds. (yards) • ft. (foot or feet) • lbs. (pounds) • km (kilometer) • cm (centimeter) • g (gram)

Jfc\NG/

Don't confuse abbreviations with acronyms. Abbreviations generally chop some letters out of a single word. Acronyms are new words made from the first letters of each word in a multi-word title. Some common acronyms include the following: NATO: North Atlantic Treaty Organization OPEC: Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries AIDS: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome You generally write abbreviations with periods, but acronyms without periods.

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Want to drive your teacher crazy? Write a formal essay with &, w/, w/o, or b/c. (For the abbreviation-deprived, & means and, w/ means with, w/o means without, b/c means because.} These symbols are fine for your notes but not for your finished product. Correct Legghorn's homework. Yesterday (Tues.) I went in the a.m. to CO. I saw Mr. Pimple, who told me that the EPA had outlawed his favorite pesticide. I have three gal. in the basem*nt, & I'll have to discard it. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Answer: (Tuesday) I went in the morning to Colorado. I saw Mr. Pimple, who told me that the EPA had outlawed his favorite pesticide. I have three gallons in the basem*nt, and I'll have to discard it. Explanation: Don't abbreviate in homework assignments except for titles (Mr. Pimple) and easily understood acronyms (EPA, or Environmental Protection Agency). If this had been a note to a friend, however, the abbreviations would have been perfectly acceptable.

Giving the Last Word to the Poet One summer's morn Upon the lawn Did Legghorn cry, "Forlorn! Forlorn Am I and so shall sigh Until I die. Goodbye." One of the advantages of poetry is that you can usually convince people that your grammar mistakes are artistic choices. (Try it on your teacher, but no guarantees.) But poetry does have a system of rules for capital letters: v0 In formal poems you usually capitalize the first word of each line. v* Regardless of where you are in the line, begin a new sentence with a capital letter. W In quoting poetry, capitalize everything the poet capitalized. Put a slash to show where a line ends.

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Chapter www.watchtvsitcoms.com

16: CAPITAL LETTERS

What this year's comma is wearing: Manuals of style Not quite as exciting as a designer's collection are fashions in grammar. Yes, fashions. A comma here, a comma there. A period on one side of the Atlantic but not on the other. Capital letters for the abbreviation of a few centuries and then lowercase. In this whirl of changing grammar rules, how can conscientious writers be sure that they're in style? Easy. Just check a manual. Many institutions publish manuals of style; each manual lists the institution's preferences for punctuation, capitalization, citation, and a whole other list of -ationsthat you've never heard of. All you have to do is check the index to find the answer to your grammatical dilemma. (You'd have to be institutionalized if you sat down and read the

whole thing. Boring doesn't even begin to describe them, but they are good for reference.) Your teacher/boss/editor (whoever's judging your writing) will be able to tell you which manual of style he or she prefers. Then you know that your work will be in fashion, or at least in the fashion that your particular authority figure likes. A few popular manuals of style are the Modern Language Association (MLA) Handbook for Writers of Research Papers (Modern Language Association of America), The Chicago Manual of Style (The University of Chicago Press), and The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage (Crown).

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PartIV

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Polishing Without Wax—The Finer Points of Grammar The 5 t h Wave

"OKfctj people, remember - vjVen wiling ijour extortion iettev^ place ihe. pronoun close www.watchtvsitcoms.com enough to l i s antecedent io ensure claritg. *

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In this part...

hink of this part of the book as sandpaper — a set of scratchy, annoying rules that rub the rough edges off of your writing. After you polish a paragraph according to the information in this part, the finished product will have the correct pronouns (Chapter 17), the appropriate verb tense (Chapter 18), and no misplaced descriptions (Chapter 19). All of your comparisons will be logical and complete (Chapter 20), and none of your sentences will be unbalanced (Chapter 21). For the finer points of grammar, read on.

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Chapter 17

Pronouns and Their Cases In This Chapter • Choosing the correct pronoun as subject and understanding compound subjects and appositives • Selecting the right pronoun for a comparison p>- Finishing linking verb sentences with the correct pronoun ^ Using the proper object pronoun and showing possession with pronouns • Choosing the correct pronoun for some nouns ending in -ing

dgar Rice Burroughs' famous character Tarzan is a smart fellow. Not only can he survive in the natural world, but he also teaches himself a fairsized English vocabulary, saves his beloved Jane from quicksand, and — when he travels to England — learns how to tie his shoelaces. Despite all these accomplishments, one task trips him up. He never seems to grasp pronounverb pairs. "Me Tarzan, you Jane," he says over and over. "I am Tarzan" is apparently beyond him. Millions of suffering grammar students know exactly how Tarzan feels. Choosing the correct pronoun is enough to give even a thirteen-year-old a few gray hairs. (I have a whole section on my head from the who/whom issue.) But there's actually a logic to pronouns, and a few tips go a long way toward making your choices more obvious. In this chapter I cover the three sets, or cases, of pronouns — subject, object, and possessive. So grab a vine and swing into the jungle of pronouns.

Me Like Tarzan: Choosing Subject Pronouns The subject is the person or thing that is talked about in the sentence. (For more on locating the subject, see Chapter 4.) You can't do much wrong when you have the actual name ofwww.watchtvsitcoms.com a person, place, or thing as the subject — in other words, a noun — but pronouns are another story.

P flrt M Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

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A subject pronoun is said to be in the nominative case. Legal subject pronouns include /, you, he, she, it, we, they, who, and whoever. If you want to avoid a grammatical felony, stay away from me, him, her, us, them, whom, and whomever when you're selecting a subject. Here are some examples of pronouns as the subject of a sentence: / certainly did tell Lulu not to remove her nose ring in public! (/ is the subject of the verb did te//.) Agwamp and she will bring the killer bees to the next Unusual Pets meeting. (She is the subject of the verb will bring.) Whoever marries Ludwig next should negotiate a good prénuptial agreement. (Whoever is the subject of the verb marries.)

Compounding interest: Pairs of subjects Most people do okay with one subject, but sentences with two subjects are a different story. For example, I often hear my otherwise grammatically correct students say such things as Him and me are going to the supermarket for some chips. Although her and / haven't met, we plan to have dinner soon. See the problem? In the first sample sentence, the verb are going expresses the action. To find the subject, ask who or what are going. The answer right now is him and me are going, but him and me aren't subject pronouns. Here's the correct version: He and / are going to the supermarket for some carrots and celery. (I couldn't resist correcting the nutritional content too.) In the second sample sentence, the action — the verb — is have met. (Not isn't part of the verb.) Who or what have met? The answer, as it is now, is her and /. / is a legal subject pronoun, but her is not. The correct version is as follows: Although she and / haven't met, we plan to have dinner soon. ^

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Pairs or even larger groups of subjects are called compound subjects. Each of the preceding sample sentences includes a compound subject. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 17:

\V? ^ "™"

Pronouns and Their Cases

^ n e S 0 0 < ^ w a v t 0 c n e c ^ y ° u r pronouns is to look at each one separately. If you've developed a fairly good ear for proper English, isolating the pronoun helps you decide whether you've chosen correctly. You may have to adjust the verb a bit when you're speaking about one subject instead of two, but the principle is the same. If the pronoun doesn't sound right as a solo subject, it isn't right as part of a pair either. Here is an example: ORIGINAL SENTENCE: Ludmilla and her went to the spitball-shooting contest yesterday. CHECK 1: Ludmilla went to the spitball-shooting contest yesterday. Verdict: sounds okay. CHECK 2: Her went to the spitball-shooting contest yesterday. Verdict: sounds terrible. Substitute she. CHECK 3: She went to the spitball-shooting contest yesterday. Verdict: much better. RECOMBINED, CORRECTED SENTENCE: Ludmilla and she went to the spitball-throwing contest yesterday. Which sentence is correct? A. Mudbud, you, and me appointed the judges for the spitball-shooting contest, so we have to live with their decisions, however wrong. B. Mudbud, you, and I appointed the judges for the spitball-shooting contest, so we have to live with their decisions, however wrong. Answer: Sentence B is correct. / is a subject pronoun, and me is not. If you take the parts of the subject separately, you can hear the correct answer.

Attracting appositttes Do you want to say the same thing twice? Use an appositive. An appositive is a noun or a pronoun that is exactly the same as the noun or pronoun that precedes it in the sentence. Check out these examples: Raven, the girl whose hair matches her name, is thinking of changing her name to Goldie. Tee Rex, holder of the coveted Dinosaur of the Year trophy, has signed an endorsem*nt deal with a company that makes extra-large sneakers. Lochness, the Spy of the Month, will hold a press conference tomorrow at 10 a.m. Lola, a fan of motorcycles, acknowledges that life in the fast lane is somewww.watchtvsitcoms.com times hard on the complexion.

Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Do you see the pair of matching ideas in each sentence? In the first, Raven and the girl whose hair matches her name are the same. In the next sentence, Tee Rex and holder of the coveted Dinosaur of the Year trophy make a pair. In the third, the Spy of the Month is the same as Lochness. In the last sentence, Lola and a fan of motorcycles are the same. The second half of each pair (the girl whose hair matches her name, holder of the coveted Dinosaur of the Year trophy, the Spy of the Month, and a fan of motorcycles) is an appositive. Appositives fall naturally into most people's speech and writing, perhaps because human beings feel a great need to explain themselves. You probably won't make a mistake with an appositive unless a pronoun or a comma is involved. (See Chapter 25 for more information on appositives and commas.) Pronouns can serve as appositives, and they show up mostly when you have two or more people or things to talk about. Here are some sentences with appositives and pronouns: The winners of the raffle — Ali and he — will appear on the Tonight Show tomorrow. (Appositive = Ali and hé) The judges for the spitball contest, Saliviata and she, wear plastic raincoats. (Appositive — Saliviata and she) The dancers who broke their toenails, Lulu and I, will not appear in the closing number. (Appositive = Lulu and I) Why are he, she and /correct? In these sample sentences, the appositives are paired with the subjects of the sentence (winners, judges, dancers). In a sense, the appositives are potential substitutes for the subject. Therefore, you must use a subject pronoun. The appositive pronoun must always match its partner; if you pair it with a subject, the appositive must be a subject pronoun. If you pair it with an object, it must be an object pronoun. You can confirm pronoun choice with the same method that I describe in the previous section. Take each part of the pair (or group) separately. Adjust the verb if necessary, and then listen to the sentence. Here's the check for one of the sentences that I used earlier: CHECK 1: The judges for the spitball contest wear plastic raincoats. Verdict: sounds okay CHECK 2: Saliviata wears plastic raincoats. (You have to adjust the verb because Saliviata is singular, not plural, but the pronoun sounds okay.) CHECK 3: She wears plastic raincoats. (Again, you have to adjust the verb, but the pronoun sounds okay.) Bottom line: Isolate the pronoun and listen. If it sounds fine, it probably is. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Chapter 17: Pronouns and

Their Cases

Picking pronouns for comparisons Lazy people that we are, we all tend to take shortcuts, chopping words out of our sentences and racing to the finish. This practice is evident in comparisons. Read the following sample sentences: Lulu denied that she had more facial hair than he. That sentence really means Lulu denied that she had more facial hair than he had. If you say the entire comparison, as in the preceding example, the pronoun choice is a cinch. However, when you drop the verb (had), you may be tempted to use the wrong pronoun, as in this sentence: Lulu denied that she had more facial hair than him. Sounds right, doesn't it? But the sentence is wrong. The words you say must fit with the words you don't say. Obviously you aren't going to accept Lulu denied that she had more facial hair than him had. Him had is just too gross. The technical reason? Him is an object pronoun, but you're using it as the subject of had. Whenever you have an implied comparison — a comparison that the sentence suggests but doesn't state completely — finish the sentence in your head. The correct pronoun becomes obvious. Implied comparisons often contain the word than (as in the preceding sample sentences). The words so and as are also frequently part of an implied comparison: The sponges that Legghorn grew do not sop up so much moisture as they. Eggworthy gave Ludwig as much trouble as her. Ratrug, live in concert on Broadway, is as entertaining as she. The complete comparisons are as follows: The sponges that Legghorn grew do not sop up so much moisture as they do. Eggworthy gave Ludwig as much trouble as Eggworthy gave her. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Ratrug, live in concert on Broadway, is as entertaining as she is.

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In some incomplete comparisons more than one word is missing. For example: Grandmother gives my sister more souvenirs than me. means Grandmother gives my sister more souvenirs than Grandmother gives to me, because my sister is a spoiled brat and is alwaysflatteringthe old bat. and Grandmother gives my sister more souvenirs than I. means Grandmother gives my sister more souvenirs than I do because I have better things to do with my allowance.

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Think before you make a decision, because the pronoun choice determines the meaning of the sentence. Which sentence is correct? A. Tee Rex broke more claws than I during the fight with Godzilla. B. Tee Rex broke more claws than me during the fight with Godzilla. Answer: Sentence A is correct. Read the sentence this way: Tee Rex broke more claws than / did during the fight with Godzilla. You can't say me did. Last one! Which is correct? A. Lochness told me more atomic secrets than she. B. Lochness told me more atomic secrets than her. Answer: Both are correct, depending on the situation. Sentence A means that Lochness told me more atomic secrets than she told me. Sentence B means that Lochness told me more atomic secrets than he told her.

Connecting pronouns to (inking Verbs Think of linking verbs as giant equal signs, equating two halves of the sentence. All forms of the verb to be are linking verbs, as well as verbs such as seem, appear, smell, sound, and taste. The type of pronoun that begins the www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Pronouns and Their Cases

equation (the subject) must also be the type of pronoun that finishes the equation. (For more information on finding linking verbs and the pronouns that go with them, see Chapter 2.) In this section, I talk about pairs of subject pronouns with linking verbs. Looking at pairs of words is helpful because choosing pronouns for compound subjects is always hard. Check out this sentence: The new champions, who spelled "sassafras" correctly for the first and only time, are him and me. Correct or incorrect? Here's how to check. Think of the equal sign (the linking verb). If the pronouns are correct, you should be able to reverse the sentence. After all, 2 + 2 = 4 and 4 = 2 + 2. If I reverse the preceding sample sentence, I get Him and me are the new champions who spelled "sassafras" correctly for the first and only time. Uh oh. Him and me are. Not a good idea. What would you really say? He and I are. So go back to the original sentence. Change the pronouns. Now the sentence reads The new champions, who spelled "sassafras" correctly for the first and only time, are he and I. 4gWt

In conversation, many people ignore the reversibility rule and choose an object pronoun. In conversation you can get away with such a choice, but in formal writing the rules are tighter. If you have a linking verb followed by a pronoun, choose from the subject set. Which sentence is correct? A. The students voted "Most Likely to Go to Jail Before Graduation" are Lizzy and I. B. The students voted "Most Likely to Go to Jail Before Graduation" are Lizzy and me. Answer: In formal English, sentence A is correct. Reverse the sentence: Lizzy and I are the students voted "Most Likely to Go to Jail Before Graduation." Verdict: Fine. If you reverse sentence B, you get Lizzy and me are. This phrasing is not a good idea, though it is acceptable in conversational English. (See Chapter 1 for more information on formal and conversational English.) www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Using Pronouns as Direct and Indirect Objects Previously in this chapter, I've concentrated on subject pronouns, but now it's time to turn to the receiver of the sentence's action — the object. Specifically, it's time to turn to object pronouns. (For more information on finding the object, see Chapter 6.) Pronouns that may legally function as objects include me, you, him, her, it, us, them, whom, and whomever. Here are some examples of direct and indirect object pronouns, all in italics: Ticktock smashed him right on the nose for suggesting that "the mouse ran down the clock." (smashed is the verb; Ticktock is the subject; him is the object) Archie married us, despite our parents' objections, in a quadruple ring ceremony, (married is the verb; Archie is the subject; us is the object) Olivier, president and chief operating officer of Actors Inc., sent me a horrifying letter, (sent is the verb; Olivier is the subject; letter and me are objects)

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A direct object receives the action directly from the verb, answering the questions whom or what after the verb. An indirect object receives the action indirectly (clever, those grammar terms), answering the questions to whom or to what after the verb. In the previous sample sentence, letter is the direct object and me is the indirect object. For more information on direct and indirect objects, see Chapter 6. Which sentence is correct? A. After a great deal of discussion, the principal punished we, the innocent, for the small nuclear device that disrupted the cafeteria yesterday. B. After a great deal of discussion, the principal punished us, the innocent, for the small nuclear device that disrupted the cafeteria yesterday. Answer: Sentence B is correct. Us is the object of the verb punished.

Choosing objects for prepositions Prepositions — words that express relationships such as about, after, among, by, for, behind, since, and others — may also have objects. (For a more complete list of prepositions, see Chapter 9.) Here are some examples: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Pronouns and Their Cases

Pinkworm, fearful for his pet tarantula, gave his dog to us yesterday. Jellibelle's dance solo is a problem for her because she can't find a suitable costume. Legghorn's latest play received a critical review from them. Archibald didn't like the window so he simply plastered over it. Notice that the object word answers the usual object questions (whom? what?): Pinkworm, fearful for his pet tarantula, gave his dog to whom? Answer: to us. Jellibelle's dance solo is a problem for whom? Answer: for her. Legghorn's latest play received a critical review from whom? Answer: from them. Archibald didn't like the window, so he simply plastered over what? Answer: over it.

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Also notice that all the pronouns — us, him, her, them, it— come from the set of object pronouns. Which sentence is correct? A. The conversation between Agwamp and I always revolves around piano-throwing. B. The conversation between Agwamp and me always revolves around piano-throwing. Answer: Sentence B is correct. Between is a preposition. Between whom? Between Agwamp and me. Me is one of the objects of the preposition between.

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For some reason, the phrase between you and I has caught on. However, it's time to unhook it! Between is a preposition, so object pronouns follow it. The pronoun / i s for subjects, and me is for objects. So between you and me, me is the word you want.

Seeing double causes problems You'll probably choose the correct object pronoun when there's only one in the sentence, but compounds (pairs or larger groups), cause problems. The solution is fairly easy: Check each part of the compound separately. Your ear helps you find the right choice. Here are some examples: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar www.watchtvsitcoms.com ORIGINAL SENTENCE: Paris, pleading poverty, presented Perry and me with a check for fifteen cents. CHECK 1: Paris, pleading poverty, presented Perry with a check for fifteen cents. Verdict: The sentence sounds fine. CHECK 2: Paris, pleading poverty, presented me with a check for fifteen cents. Verdict: The sentence sounds fine. When you isolate the pronoun, me is obviously the correct choice. You're unlikely to accept Paris, pleading poverty, presented I with a check for fifteen cents. Try another one. ORIGINAL SENTENCE: Perry, claiming to be far richer than Ted Turner, presented the government and he with a billion dollars. CHECK 1: Perry, claiming to be far richer than Ted Turner, presented the government with a check for a billion dollars. Verdict: The sentence is fine. CHECK 2: Perry, claiming to be far richer than Ted Turner, presented he with a check for a billion dollars. Verdict: presented he? Nope. The sentence doesn't work. CHECK 3: Perry, claiming to be far richer than Ted Turner, presented him with a check for a billion dollars. Verdict: Now the sentence sounds right. RECOMBINED SENTENCE: Perry, claiming to be far richer than Ted Turner, presented the government and him with a check for a billion dollars.

Pronouns of Possession: No Exorcist Needed Possessive pronouns show (pause for a drum roll) possession. Not the movie head-twisting-backwards kind, but the kind where you own something. Possessive pronouns include my, your, his, her, its, our, their, mine, yours, hers, ours, theirs, and whose. Check out the following sample sentences: Legghorn took his apple out of the refrigerator marked "Open Only in Case of Emergency." Sure that the computer had beeped its last beep, Lola shopped for a new model. To our dismay, Lochness and Lulu opened their birthday presents two

days early. www.watchtvsitcoms.com Vengeance is mine.

Lester slapped the dancer whose stiletto heels had wounded Lola's big toe.

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Chapter 17: Pronouns and Their Cases

The possessive pronouns in these examples show that the apple belongs to Legghorn, the beep belongs to the computer, the dismay belongs to us, and the presents belong to Lochness and Lulu. Vengeance belongs to me. (Mine is the possessive pronoun that refers to something / own, something that belongs to me.) The last sentence is a little more complicated. The word whose refers to the dancer. The stiletto heels belong to the dancer. The big toe belongs to Lola, but possession is shown in this example with a possessive noun (Lola's) not a possessive pronoun (her). Notice that none of the possessive pronouns have apostrophes. They never do! Ever! Never ever! Putting apostrophes into possessive pronouns is one of the most common errors. (It's doesn't mean belongs to it. It's means it is.)

O.UIZ

Why don't possessive pronouns have apostrophes? I have no idea. Logically, you expect possessive pronouns to have apostrophes, because apostrophes show possession for nouns (Angle's mug, for example). But logic and grammar aren't always friends or even acquaintances, and (as you may have noticed) possessive pronouns don't have apostrophes. Ever. Which sentence is correct? A. Smashing the pumpkin on his mother's clean floor, Rocky commented, "I believe this gourd is yours." B. Smashing the pumpkin on his mother's clean floor, Rocky commented, "I believe this gourd is your's." Answer: Sentence A is correct. No possessive pronoun has an apostrophe, and yours is a possessive pronoun.

ùeatinq itiith Pronouns and "4na" Nouns The rule concerning possessive pronouns and "-ing" nouns is broken so often that it may be a losing battle. However, the rule isn't completely useless, like many of the other rules that people break. Moreover, this rule is actually logical. Some nouns that end in -ing are created from verbs. (In grammarspeak, they're called gerunds. See Chapter 24 for more information.) When you put a pronoun in front of one of these nouns, you must be sure that the pronoun is possessive. Here are some examples: Just because I once got a speeding ticket, my parents object to my taking the car for even short drives, (not me taking) Lola knows that their creating a dress code has nothing to do with the pierced her toes, (not them creating) fact that she recentlywww.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

Eggworthy likes his singing in the shower, (not him singing) The goldfish accept our placing food in the tank so long as we don't try to shake their fins, (not us placing) Why possessive? Here's the reasoning. If you put a possessive pronoun in front of the noun, the noun is the main idea, Therefore: My parents object to the taking of the car. They don't object to me. Lola knows something about the creating of a dress code. She may not know anything about them. Eggworthy likes the singing. Eggworthy may not like him. The goldfish accept placing food. They don't accept us. Some -ing words weren't created from verbs, and some -ing words aren't nouns. Don't worry about distinguishing between one and the other. Just apply this simple test: You need a possessive if the meaning of the sentence changes radically when you drop the -ing word. Check out this example: Lochness loves me singing and always invites me to perform at his concerts. If I drop the -ing word, the sentence says Lochness loves me. Now there's a radical change of meaning. Clearly the sentence is incorrect. The correct version is Lochness loves my singing. Now the focus is on singing, not on me. Which sentence is correct? A. Stunned by my low batting average, the coach forbade my swinging at every pitch. B. Stunned by my low batting average, the coach forbade me swinging at every pitch. Answer: Sentence A is correct. The coach went on and on about my swinging at every pitch and never mentioned anything about my personal life. (In sentence B, he's forbidding me, all of me.) www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Chapter 18

Fine-tuning Verbs In This Chapter ^ Distinguishing between active and passive voice •* Choosing the correct verb to describe different events at different times Is* Reporting information with the proper tense t* Describing ideas that are always true

# ^ a v e you ever written a letter and then, after reading it, gone back and v I crossed out half the words? Do the verbs tie your tongue (well, actually, your pen) in knots. Are you constantly editing yourself to avoid verb problems. If so, this chapter is for you.

GWina Voice to Verbs Verbs can have two voices. No, not soprano and tenor. Verbs can be either active or passive. Take a look at these two examples: "The window was broken yesterday," reported Eggworthy, carefully tucking his baseball bat under the sofa. "I broke the window yesterday," reported Eggworthy, carefully tucking his baseball bat under the sofa. How do the two versions differ? Grammatically, Eggworthy's statement in version one focuses on the receiver of the action, the window, which received the action of breaking. The verb is passive because the subject is not the person or thing doing the action but instead the person or thing receiving the action. In version two the verb is in active voice because the subject (I) performed the action (broke). When the subject is acting or being, the verb is active. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

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To find the subject of a sentence, locate the verb and ask who or what before the verb. For more information on subjects, see Chapter 4. For more information on the basics of verbs, see Chapter 2. Here are some active and passive verbs: Lulu gives a free-tattoo coupon to Lola, (active) Lola is convinced by Lulu to get a tattoo, (passive) Lochness slaps Lulu, (active) Lulu is tattooed by Lola, (passive)

Making the Better Choice: Active Voice Unless you're trying to hide something or unless you truly don't know the facts, you should make your writing as specific as possible. Specifics reside in active voice. Compare these pairs of sentences: The president of the Egg-Lovers' Club was murdered yesterday. (The cops are still looking for the villain who wielded the hammer and crushed the president's skull like a . . . well, like an eggshell.) Murgatroyd murdered the president of the Egg-Lovers' Club yesterday. (Murgatroyd is on the lam.) It is recommended that the furnace not be cleaned until next year. (Someone wants to save money, but no one is taking responsibility for this action. If the furnace breaks when the thermometer hits twenty below because too much glop is inside, no one's name comes up for blame.) The superintendent recommends that the furnace not be cleaned until next year. (Now the building's residents may storm the superintendent's office after they chip icicles off their noses.) Do you notice how the active-verb sentences provide extra information? In the first pair of sample sentences, we know the name of the murderer. In the second pair, we know who recommends deferring maintenance of the furnace. Knowing (in life as well as in grammar) is usually better than not knowing, and active voice is usually better than passive voice. Active voice is also better than passive because active voice uses fewer words to say the same thing. Compare the following sentences: Murdlock was failed by the teacher because the grammar book was torn up by Murdlockwww.watchtvsitcoms.com before it was ever opened. (20 words) The teacher failed Murdlock because Murdlock tore up the grammar book before opening it. (14 words)

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs

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Okay, six words don't make the difference between a 900-page novel and a three-page story, but those words do add up. If you're writing a letter or an essay, switching from passive to active voice may save you one-third of your words — and therefore one-third of the reader's energy and patience. Right about now you may be remembering a past homework assignment: the teacher asked for 500 words on Hamlet and you had only one teeny idea about the play. You may have thought that padding was a good idea! Wrong. Your teacher (or boss) can see that you've buried only one teeny idea in those piles of paragraphs. Besides losing points for knowing too little, you're likely to lose points for wasting the reader's time. The solution? Write in active voice and don't pad your writing. Label the verbs in these sentences as active or passive. A. The omelet was made with egg whites, but the yolks were discarded. B. Eggworthy slobbers when he eats eggs. Answer: Sentence A is passive (was made, were discarded), and sentence B is active (slobbers, eats). Try one more. Which is active and which is passive? A. The nail was hammered into that sign by Lochness. B. Lochness is building a tank for his pet piranhas. Answer: Sentence A is passive (was hammered), and sentence B is active (is building).

Putting It in Order: Sequence of Tenses All verbs express information about three time periods: the present, the past, and the future. Unfortunately, human beings have a tendency to want more specific information about timing. Enter about a million shades of meaning, closely followed by about a million rules. For information on the basic tenses of verbs, see Chapter 3. In this chapter I focus on some special cases — which verbs to use when more than one thing is happening. To clarify what's happening when, timelines accompany some of the examples in this section. Match the events on the timeline to the verbs in the sentence to see where in time each tense places an action. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

Case 1: Simultaneous events — main Verbs Look at the italicized verbs in each of these sample sentences: Trueheart swiped a handkerchief and daintily blew her noise, (swiped and blew = two events happening at almost the same moment; both verbs are in past tense) Trueheart will be in court tomorrow, and the judge will rule on her case. (will be and will rule = two events happening at the same time; both verbs are in future tense) Trueheart is extremely sad about the possibility of a criminal record, but she remains hopeful, (is and remains = states of being existing at the same time; both verbs are in present tense) If two actions take place at the same time (or nearly the same time), use the same tense for each verb.

Case 2: Simultaneous events — Verbals The verb doesn't express all the action in a sentence. Some verb forms don't act as the official verb in the sentence; in fact, they don't act as verbs at all, even though they give you some information about an event. These verb forms are called verbals. In the following sentences, check out the italicized words. The first is a verbal and the second is the main verb. Notice that the same verbal matches with present, past, and future verbs and places the two actions at the same time or close enough in time to make the difference irrelevant. Also notice that none of the verbals are formed with the words have or had. (Have and had help express actions taking place at different times. See Case #6 later in this section.) Swiping a handkerchief, Trueheart daintily blows her nose. (The swiping and the blowing take place at nearly the same time — in the present.) Swiping a handkerchief, Trueheart daintily blew her nose. (The swiping and the blowing took place at nearly the same time — in the past.) Swiping a handkerchief, Trueheart will daintily blow her nose. (The swiping and the blowing will take place at nearly the same time — in the future.) Another variation: www.watchtvsitcoms.com

To blow her nose daintily, Trueheart swipes a handkerchief. (The blowing and the swiping take place at nearly the same time — in the present.)

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs

To blow her nose daintily, Trueheart swiped a handkerchief. (The blowing and the swiping took place at nearly the same time — in the past.) To blow her nose daintily, Trueheart will swipe a handkerchief. (The blowing and the swiping will take place at nearly the same time — in the future.) .^BEir

Participles are verb forms that may act as adjectives. In the preceding sample sentences, swiping is a present participle, and swiping a handkerchief is a participial phrase describing Trueheart. The action expressed by the present participle takes place at the same time (or nearly the same time) as the action expressed by the main verb. For more information on participles, see Chapter 24. To blow is an infinitive, the basic form of a verb. Infinitives never function as verbs in the sentence. In the previous sample sentences, to blow her noise daintily is an infinitive phrase describing Trueheart. For more information on infinitives, see Chapter 2. For tips on using infinitives creatively, see Chapter 24.

Case 3: Events at two different times in the past Everything in the past happened at exactly the same moment, right? Oh, if only this statement were true. History tests would be much easier, and so would grammar. Sadly, you often need to talk about events that took place at different times in the past. The verb tenses you use create an order of events — a timeline — for your reader. Check the italicized verbs in this sentence: Trueheart had already swiped the handkerchief when she discovered the joys of honesty. There are two events to think about, one taking place before the other. (Unfortunately for Trueheart, the joy of honesty came after the theft, for which she's doing ten to twenty in the penitentiary.) Note the timeline: handkerchief stolen

joys of honesty

had swiped

discovered

NOW

For two events in the past, write the earlier event with had and the more recent event in simple past tense (without had). For grammar-lovers only: in the past perfect tense. (See Chapter 3 for definiVerbs written with had arewww.watchtvsitcoms.com tions of tenses.)

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

Check out these examples: Because of Lulu's skill with a needle, where a hole in the sock had gaped, a perfect heel now enclosed her tender foot. (Event 1: the hole in the sock gapes; event 2: the mended sock covers the foot.) When Lochness had inserted the microfilm, he sewed the hole in the now illegal teddy bear. (Event 1: Lochness inserts the microfilm; event 2: Lochness sews the bear.) Though she had lost her wallet, Ludmilla kept a tight grip on her sanity. (Event 1: Ludmilla loses her wallet; Event 2: Ludmilla does not lose her mind.) After the song had been played at least twelve times, Legghorn shouted, "Enough!" (Event 1: The song is played twelve times; event 2: Legghorn loses it.) A common error is using had for everything. Wrong! Don't use had unless you're consciously putting events in order: WRONG: Trueheart had dried her eyes, and then she had gone to see the judge. RIGHT: After Trueheart had dried her eyes, she went to see the judge. Also, sometimes you may want to talk about events in the past without worrying about specific times. You went on vacation, had a great time, sent some postcards, ate a lot of junk food, and came home. No need for had in this description because the order isn't the point. You're just making a general list. Use had when the timing matters. Don't overuse it.

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Note: You may encounter one other use of had, the subjunctive. See Chapter 22 if you have to know absolutely everything about had — and believe me, you don't. Which sentence tells you about events that happened at different times? A. Slipping the judge a fifty-dollar bill, Trueheart hoped for mercy. B. Although she had slipped the judge only one fifty-dollar bill, Trueheart hoped for mercy. Answer: Sentence B reports events at different times. Trueheart tried the bribe at 10 a.m. and spent the rest of the day planning a trip to Rio (cancelled when her ten-to-twenty-year jail term was announced). In sentence A, Trueheart bribes and hopes at the same time. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs

One more question. Which sentence reports events happening at two different times? A. To prepare for her trial, Trueheart bought a copy of Be Your Own Lawyer! B. Trueheart had bought a copy of Be Your Own Lawyer! when the trial began. Answer: Sentence B has two events, one earlier than the other. The purchase of the book (had bought) happened before the trial (began). In sentence A, the two events (to prepare, bought) happen at the same time.

Case bi More than Mo past events, ait at different times This rule is similar to the one described in Case 3. Apply this rule when you talk about more than two events in the past: Trueheart had baked a cake and had inserted a sharp file under the icing before she began her stay in jail. Now the timeline is as follows:

baking

file

1 had baked

had inserted

jail

NOW

1 began

What do you notice? The most recent event (began her stay in jail) is written without had. In other words, the most recent event is in simple past tense. Everything that happened earlier is written with had— that is, in past perfect tense. For more information on tenses, see Chapter 3. Here are some examples: Murgatroyd had bent his knees and had bowed his head before he shot the spitball. (Events 1 and 2: Murgatroyd tries to look respectful. Event 3: Murgatroyd shoots the spitball, proving once and for all that he can't act respectfully.) Legghorn had planned the shower, and Lola had even planned the wedding by the time Ludmilla agreed to marry Ludwig. (Events 1 and 2: Legghorn and Lola visit the wedding coordinator. Event 3: Ludmilla www.watchtvsitcoms.com makes the biggest mistake of her life.)

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www.watchtvsitcoms.com Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

Felonia had composed a sonata, played it for royalty, and signed a recording contract before she reached her tenth birthday. (Events 1, 2, and 3: Felonia writes the music, performs it, and makes big bucks. Event 4: Felonia's mom puts ten candles on the cake.)

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In the last example three verbs — composed, played, and signed — form a list of the actions that Felonia performed before her tenth birthday. They all have the same subject (Felonia). The word had precedes only composed, the first verb of the three. You may omit the word had in front of played and signed because they are part of the same list and they all have the same subject. The reader knows that the word had applies to all three of the verbs. In other words, the reader understands that Felonia had composed, had played, and had signed. Identify the events in this sentence and put them in order. Where patriots had fought and wise founders had written a constitution, a fast-food catfish restaurant stood. Answer: Events 1 and 2: People with a better idea fight the old government and write a plan for a new government. Event 3: In the free and successful society that results, someone builds a restaurant after suing the landmarks preservation commission for the right to tear down a historic building.

Case 5: Tufo events in the future Leaving the past behind, it's time to turn to the future. Read this sentence: Ratrug will have completed all 433 college applications before they are due. Ratrug's applications will be error-filled — he spelled his name Ratrig on at least three — but they will be done before the deadline. Deadline is the important word here, at least regarding verb tense. The have form of the future, also called future perfect tense, involves a deadline. You don't necessarily have two verbs in the sentence, but you do have two events:

Past NOW

D t

Future .

Ratrug works on applications

applications r r I due

will have completed

are

Use the future perfect tense to talk about the earlier of the two events. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs

Here are a few examples: Ms. Trueheart will have served all of her sentence before the parole board meets. (The deadline in the sentence is the parole board meeting.) By nine tonight, Eggworthy will have successfully scrambled the secret message. (The deadline in the sentence is nine o'clock.) Analivia will have left for Lulu's trip up Mount Everest by the time the mountaineering supply company sends her gear. (The deadline in the sentence is the delivery of mountain-climbing supplies.) Which sentence is correct? A. Shakey will have tossed the salad tonight. B. Shakey will have tossed the salad out the window before anyone has a chance to taste it. Answer: Sentence B is correct. Future perfect tense involves a deadline, which in this sentence is before anyone has a chance to taste it.

Case 6: different times, different Verb forms Remember those weird verb forms from Case 2, earlier in the chapter? The verbals? When they express different times, a helping verb (having or have) is involved. Check out this sentence: Having sealed the letter containing his job application, Nobrain remembered his name.

sealing

remembering NOW

having sealed

remembered

In other words, Nobrain's job application — unless he rips open the envelope — is anonymous because the sealing of the letter took place before the remembering of his name.

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www.watchtvsitcoms.com P a r t IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

Here are additional examples: Having finished her homework, Felonia turned on the television to watch the oatmeal-wrestling tournament. (Event 1 : Felonia finishes her homework at 2 a.m. Event 2: The tournament begins at 3 a.m. For some reason, the networks are reluctant to broadcast the match during prime time.) Having won all the votes, Lola named herself "Empress-in-Chief." (Event 1: Lola gets 100 percent of the votes. Event 2: Lola loses her head.) Having exhibited the painting in Mudbud's new gallery, Felonia considered herself an all-around artistic genius. (Event 1: Felonia convinces Mudbud to hang her Homework Blues still life. Event 2: Felonia adds an art link to her Web page.)

The present participle (finishing, for example) combines with present, past, and future verbs to show two events happening at the same time or at nearly the same time. The present perfect form of the participle (having finished) combines with present, past, and future verbs to show two events happening at different times.

She done him wrong The word done is never a verb all by itself. A those of regular verbs — look exactly the same true party animal, this verb form insists on being as the plain past tense. Consider the verb to accompanied by helping verbs. In grammar- walk: speak, done is a past participle of the verb to do. PLAIN PAST TENSE: I wa/tedtwenty miles. Naked, shivering, totally-alone participles never function as verbs. Here are some examples: PRESENT PERFECT TENSE: I have walked twenty miles. WRONG: He done all he could, but the sky fell anyway. WHAT THESE TWO SENTENCES HAVE IN COMMON: The word walked, which is RIGHT: He had done all he could, but the sky a verb in the first example and a past parfell anyway. ticiple — part of a verb — in the second example. WRONG: She done him wrong. RIGHT, BUT A BAD SENTENCE: She has done him wrong. BETTER SENTENCE: What she has done to him is wrong.

WHY ENGLISH DOES THIS: I have no idea. BOTTOM LINE: You may use walked alone or with a helper because the same word may be both a past tense verb and a participle. You may not use done by itself as a verb, however, because it's not the past tense of to do. The past tense of to do is did.

You may blame the fact that so many people create sentences like the first example (He done all he could) on one of the many joys of www.watchtvsitcoms.com English grammar. Some past participles —

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs

Another one of the verb-forms-that-aren't-verbs, the infinitive, may also show events happening at two different times. The present perfect infinitive (to have finished, for example) is the one that does this job. Don't worry about the name; just look for the have. Here's an example: It was helpful to have bought the cookbook before the dinner party. (Event 1: Pre-party, panicked trip to the bookstore. Event 2: Guests arrive, unaware that they're about to eat Alfalfa Stringbean Surprise.) ,$»NG/

The have form (the present perfect form) of the infinitive always places an event before another in the past. Don't use the have form unless you're putting events in order: WRONG: I was sorry to have attended the party. RIGHT: I was sorry to attend the party. The music was terrible and there was nothing to eat but vegetables. ALSO RIGHT: I was sorry to have attended the party before I got a chance to investigate the menu. Shakey's salad was terrible. >auiz Which sentence shows two events happening at the same time, and which shows two events happening at different times? A. Running up the clock, the mouse spoke with his friends. B. Having run up the clock, the mouse spoke with his friends. Answer: Sentence A shows two events happening at the same time. The mouse is running and speaking with his friends. Sentence B shows two events happening at different times. The mouse has arrived at the top of the clock and is now speaking with his friends (notice that the word having is involved, indicating that different events are occurring at different times).

Reportinq Information: The Verb lefts the Story Flipping his hair over each of his three shoulders, the alien told us about the explosion on his planet. The gas of three rocket tanks caught fire and destroyed the spaceport terminal, he said. He went on to explain that almost everyone on the planet was affected, including the volleyball team, which sustained significant losses. All their courts, he said, were covered with rubble, and they forfeited the intergalactic tournament. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Polishing Without Waxwww.watchtvsitcoms.com — The Finer Points of Grammar The alien's story is summarized speech. I'm not quoting him directly. If I were, I'd insert some of his exact words: "Oh, the humanity!" he cried. In the previous summarized speech, the verbs are all in past tense. Although rare, it's possible to summarize speech in present tense also. Present tense adds an extra dose of drama: Flipping his hair over each of his three shoulders, the alien tells us about the explosion on his planet. The gas of three rocket tanks catches fire and destroys the spaceport terminal, he says. He goes on to explain that almost everyone on the planet is affected, including the volleyball team, which sustains significant losses. All their courts, he says, are covered with rubble, and they forfeit the intergalactic tournament. When reporting information, either present or past tense is acceptable. However, mixing tenses is not acceptable. Don't move from one to the other, except for one special case, which I describe in the next section, "Recognizing Eternal Truths: Statements That Are Always in Present Tense." WRONG: Shakey said that he had tossed the salad out the window. It hits a pedestrian, who sues for lettuce-related damages. (The first two verbs are in past tense, and the next two are in present tense.) RIGHT: Shakey said that he had tossed the salad out the window. It hit a pedestrian, who sued for lettuce-related damages. (All verbs are in a form of the past tense.) Correct the verb tense in this paragraph. The verbs are in italics. Lola testified that she excavated at the town dump every Tuesday afternoon before she attends choir practice. She often found arrow heads, broken pottery, discarded automobile tires, and other items of interest. One day she discovers a metal coil about two feet long. On one end of the coil was a piece of gum. As she thoughtfully removes the gum and starts to chew, a whistle blew. Lochness sprinted into the dump at top speed. "Get your hands off my gum," he exclaims. Lochness smiles. His anti-gum-theftalarm had worked perfectly. Answer: The story is in two different tenses, past and present. To correct it, choose one of the two. Here is the past tense version, with the changed verbs underlined: Lola testified that she excavated at the town dump every Tuesday afternoon before she attended choir practice. She often found arrow heads, broken pottery, www.watchtvsitcoms.com discarded automobile tires, and other items of interest. One day she discovered a metal coil about two feet long. On one end of the coil was a piece of gum. As she thoughtfully removed the gum and

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Chapter 18: Fine-tuning Verbs

started to chew, a whistle blew._ Lochness sprinted into the dump at top speed. "Get your hands off my gum," he exclaimed. Lochness smiled. His anti-gum-theft-alarm had worked perfectly. Here is the present tense version, with the changed verbs underlined: Lola testifies that she excavates at the town dump every Tuesday afternoon before she attends choir practice. She often finds arrow heads, broken pottery, discarded automobile tires, and other items of interest. One day she discovers a metal coil about two feet long. On one end of the coil is a piece of gum. As she thoughtfully removes the gum and starts to chew, a whistle blows. Lochness sprints into the dump at top speed. "Get your hands off my gum," he exclaims. Lochness smiles. His anti-gum-theftalarm has worked perfectly One special note: When you're not reporting what someone says, you can make a general statement about something that always happens (someone's custom or habit) using present tense. You can easily combine such a statement with a story that focuses on one particular incident in the past tense. Therefore, the preceding story may begin in present tense and move to past tense in this way: Lola excavates at the town dump every Tuesday afternoon before she attends choir practice. She often finds arrow heads, broken pottery, discarded automobile tires, and other items of interest. Up to here in the story, all the verbs are in present tense because the story tells of Lola's habits. The story isn't reporting what someone said. In the next sentence, the story switches to past tense because it examines one particular day in the past. One day she discovered a metal coil about two feet long. On one end of the coil was a piece of gum. As she thoughtfully removed the gum and started to chew, a whistle blew. Lochness sprinted into the dump at top speed. "Get your hands off my gum," he exclaimed. Lochness smiled. His anti-gum-theft-alarm had worked perfectly.

Recognizing Eternal Truths: Statements That Are Always in Present Tense What's wrong with these sentences? www.watchtvsitcoms.com Analivia explained that one plus one equaled two.

Ms. Belli said that the earth was round. She added that diamonds were made of carbon.

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Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar Well, you may be thinking, Equaled two? What does it equal now? Three? Was round? And now it's a cube? Were made of carbon? Now they make diamonds from pastrami? In others words, the verb tense is wrong. All of these statements represent eternal truths — statements that will never change. When you write such statements, you must always write in present tense, even if the statement was made in the past: Analivia explained that one plus one equals two. Ms. Belli told us that the earth is round. She went on to say that diamonds are made of carbon. Which sentence is correct? A. Legghorn said that Lulu had a cold. B. Leggorn said that Lulu has a cold. Answer: Sentence A is correct. Lulu's cold is not an eternal truth, though it has lasted three weeks and shows no signs of letting up. Be consistent in verb tense.

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Chapter 19

Saying What You Want to Say: Descriptive Words and Phrases In This Chapter > Placing descriptions so that the sentence says what you mean m- Beginning a sentence with a description ^ Using infinitives as descriptions P- Avoiding double meanings for descriptive words & Omitting words without losing meaning * # # # • « # « « « • • « « • « # » » • » # « # • » » » « » » # • • • « # • » • • « * # • « « « »

m Jnce upon a time, ye olde ancestor of our Modern English, Old English, \ r was the language of the land. Most words had many forms: one to show that the word received an action and one to show that it performed an action. Because the words themselves carried so many aspects of meaning, you could arrange them in many ways and still say the same thing. Word order was less important in Old English than it is in Modern English. The good news is that speakers of Modern English don't have to learn dozens of forms of words. The bad news is that Modern English speakers have to be careful about word order. Most people do all right with nouns and verbs, but descriptive words are another matter. In this chapter, I show you some common mistakes of placement. Specifically, I show you how placing a description in the wrong spot can completely wreck your sentence.

Ruining a Perfectly Good Sentence: Misplaced Descriptions Can you spot what's wrong with this sentence? www.watchtvsitcoms.com

Lulu put a ring into her pierced nose that she had bought last week.

www.watchtvsitcoms.com Part IV: Polishing Without Wax — The Finer Points of Grammar

The describing words that she had bought last week follow the word nose. The way the sentence is now, that she had bought last week describes nose. The Internet sells plenty of unusual items, but not noses (yet), though I imagine a Web address for plastic surgeons offering discount nose jobs is out there somewhere. Here's the correction: Into her pierced nose Lulu put a ring that she had bought last week. Now that she had bought last week follows ring, which Lulu really did buy last week. The description that she bought last week is an adjective clause. It modifies the noun ring. For more information on adjective clauses, see Chapter 24. Here's another description that wandered too far from home: Lulu also bought a genuine, 1950-model, fluorescent pink hula-hoop with a credit card. According to news reports, toddlers and dogs have received credit card applications, but not plastic toys — at least as far as I know. Yet the sentence says that the hula-hoop comes with a credit card. How to fix it? Move the description: With a credit card Lulu also bought a genuine, 1950-model, fluorescent pink hula-hoop. Granted, most people can figure out the meaning of the sentence, even when the description is in the wrong place. Logic is a powerful force. But chances are your reader or listener will pause a moment to unravel what you've said. The next couple of sentences may be a washout because your audience is distracted. UVU. K^r 2 \r^r

The rule concerning description placement is simple: Place the description as close as possible to the word that it describes. ^ m c n sentence is correct? A. Lochness put the paper into his pocket with atomic secrets written on it. B. Lochness put the paper with atomic secrets written on it into his pocket. Answer: Sentence B is correct because the paper has atomic secrets written on it, not the pocket. www.watchtvsitcoms.com

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Chapter 19: Saying What You Want to Say: Descriptive Words and Phrases With atomic secrets is a prepositional phrase, specifically, an adjectival prepositional phrase (those grammatical terms really roll off the tongue, don't they?) describing paper. Written on it is a participle, a verb form that isn't used as a verb. Participles describe nouns and pronouns. In this sentence, written on it describes the noun secrets. For more information on prepositional phrases, see Chapter 9. For more information on participles, see Chapter 24. Try another. Which sentence is correct? A. Analivia peddled to the Mathematics Olympics on her ten-speed bicycle with a complete set of differential equat

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