Tough Guy - Chapter 10 - Leo34u (2024)

Chapter Text


At least I can finally fall asleep now.

When I wake up the next day, I feel gross.

My body is still sticky from sweat and dried cum and it’s only now that it really dawns on me what happened between me and Matt last night.

We had phone sex. f*cking phone sex.

I can’t even believe it. Everything just happened so fast.

I wasn’t able to think straight from how tired and horny I was and I hate myself for giving in to my desires.

It shouldn’t have happened.

The whole point of this trip was to keep some distance between me and Matt, but it seems like no matter what I try to stay away from him; something always pulls me back to him.

I’m an idiot.

How can I tell him to get over his feelings for me when I can’t get over mine either?

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I don’t know how we’re gonna get out of this.

It’s so messed up.

What I do know though is, that I’m in a desperate need of a shower.

A hot shower might help me clear my mind and ease the headache I’m getting from all this overthinking.

I swear it’s unhealthy how much I think about Matt.

Grabbing some fresh clothes, I step out of my room and walk towards the bathroom; trying to do so without bumping into my parents.

I can’t talk to them until I figure out what the f*ck I’m gonna tell them.

I’m scared as sh*t.

They already know something is off and sooner or later they’ll find out the truth.

But there is no way they’d accept it.

I mean, how is a parent supposed to react to finding out their children are in love with each other?

These children not only being normal siblings, but f*cking identical triplets.

It’s insane…And the worst is that I’m aware of that.

I know it’s so wrong and disgusting even, but no matter how hard I try to fight my feelings, my heart always wins against my brain.

My heart is screaming for Matt.

My body is screaming for him.

Iam screaming for him.

The more I try to deny or stop it, the worse it gets.

Even now with the hot water running down my body, all I can think about is Matt.

How he looked at me yesterday…how he talked to me…moanedfor me.

The way he was sucking his fingers between those plump lips, imagining it was my dick instead…

Goddamn it.

I’m getting hard again.

I lost count on how many times I was jerking off thinking about Matt in the past years…

It’s not like I wanted to…I’ve always been aware of how wrong it is. It’s more like I can only get off thinking about him.

I tried thinking of girls or watching all kinds of p*rn, but after a while my brain always drifts off to images of Matt on it’s own.

It always confused me, because I’m not gay. I like women. Ilove women.

They’re beautiful and I find many of them attractive, but I can’t imagine myself in a relationship with any of them.

I can’t even imagine having sex with them anymore.

Sure, I have had some experiences with women…but they never made me feel the way Matt does.

Our phone sex alone made me cum ten times harder than actual sex with any of those women did.

That’s definitely concerning. It’s something I’ve been losing my mind over for a long time now.

Because Matt is the only man I’m interested in. The only man I wasever interested in.

Matt is the only one I want. The only one I can see myself with…and I think I always knew there’s no one else for me. I just couldn’t accept it.

I have always been scared of having a relationship with any woman, because I already knew she could never make me feel the way Matt does.

She could never understand me as much as he does, could never know me as well as he does…she would never have the experiences I had with Matt in our entire childhood.

She would like me for my looks or maybe for the way I act around others, but she’d never know what’s going on inside my head or what I look like when I’m crying.

She wouldn’t know what I really like or dislike, what I worry about at night or what’s actually my favorite song.

Because loving someone takes time. Getting to actuallyknow someone, takes time. And I’m not willing to spend that time with someone else than Matt.

Why would I continue to wait when I already found my soulmate?

And it’s also just really unfair to get into a relationship with a woman when I already know I’m not able to give her the love she deserves, isn’t it?

„f*ck. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.“ I swear out quietly, leaning back against the shower wall and taking in some deep breaths.

Matt was right. It’s not gonna work. Whatever I try…I’ll never get over him.

Every time I see him will be a constant reminder of who I really want.

Who I reallyneed.

I’ll never find someone like Matt.

f*ck this.

f*ck what the others will think.

Matt makes me happy.

I’m gonna talk to Nate, Nick, Justin and my parents.

I’m gonna tell them the truth.

They know how close Matt and I always were…how much we need each other.

If they really love us then they’ll accept it.

And if they don’t…uhm, well…then uhm…we’re screwed.

That’s what I hate most about this. I can’t think positive, because what we’re doing is simply wrong and no one is supposed to support this.

But what can I say? I truly love him. And there’s nothing I want more in this given moment than to be with him.

Maybe everything I did and what I’m gonna do is stupid, but at least I’m fighting for Matt.

Determined to finally get him back, I put the water on cold to get my dick down, before I step out of the shower and dry myself off.

After I put on some sweats and a hoodie, I grab my phone from the sink and call Nate.

He picks up only a few seconds later.

„Hey, man. What’s up?“ He asks me from the other side of the line.

„Just wanted to check you didn’t change your mind.“

He chuckles.

„Nope, I’m in. We have some fun at the party and you’ll tell me what’s up with you.“

I let out a shaky breath and hum.

„Good. I couldn’t go there alone. See you later then.“

„Yeah, see you there.“

Ending the call, I check the time.

I still have about four hours until I have to get ready for the party.

James, an old friend from Highschool, is celebrating his birthday this evening and when he heard I’m back in Boston, he invited me immediately.

I haven’t seen him in a long time, due to also spending a lot of time in LA, but Nate is still pretty close with him.

Going out without Matt and Nick is not something I normally do and Nate is the only reason I don’t lose my mind over it.

I’m still nervous and don’t really want to go, but it’s the perfect opportunity to spend time with Nate and tell him about my feelings for Matt.

I just hope he won’t freak out too much and help me find a solution…and I think the party is gonna ease up some tension between us.

It’s around 8:30 pm when I arrive at James’s house.

My hands are sweating and I feel like my heart is gonna beat out of my chest. I’m so nervous to talk to Nate.

Sure, he’s my best friend and I trust him with my life, but this is a serious topic and I have no idea how he’s going to react to my confession.

„Chris!“ I jump as I hear Nate and turn around, a big smile spreading over my face as I see him.

„Hey, man! What’s up?“ I ask, pulling him into a hug. It’s crazy how much I missed that kid.

„Nothing new. Why did you come here with an Uber? I thought your mom was gonna drive you.“

I scratch my head and look down.

„Uhm yeah, that’s what she had planned, but I’m trying to avoid her as best as possible. She’s asking too many questions that I can’t answer yet.“

Nate narrows his eyes, clearly not amused by that.

„Bro, you’re scaring the sh*t out of me. That’s nothing like you.“

I sight and run a hand through my hair, looking him in the eyes and forcing a smile.

„I know. It’s complicated. I’m gonna tell you…I promise. Let’s just- go inside first, okay?“

Nate only hums, his eyes scanning my face, and I quickly step towards the front door; trying to escape his piercing gaze.

The first thing that comes back into my mind as I walk through the door is how f*cking rich James is.

Better said, how much he enjoys showing off his money…orhis parents money

I wouldn’t even call this a house, it’s more like a mansion.

The entrance area alone costs probably as much as half my parent‘s house.

The walls are decorated with golden picture frames and there are even chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

I‘m surprised there‘s not a big red carpet in the middle of the room, leading the way to some big ass stairs or something.

Okay…I guess it got some sort of royal vibe and I have to admit it’s also kinda cool to live in a house like that, but I just couldn’t do it.

No matter how much money Nick, Matt and I earned in the past years, we‘re not the type of people to show off.

We‘re humble, as my mom likes to say.

We got everything we need and want and - most importantly - are able to pay my parents back for everything they did for us.

So why get a big ass house and care about what others think about you, when you can just live in a normal house and be happy with your family and friends?

„Chris!“ Someone shouts out from behind me and I turn around to see James approaching me.

„Hey, bro! How have you been? We haven’t seen each other in so long!“ He says a little too excited for my liking, and pulls me into a hug.

I‘m a bit startled by his obvious excitement to see me again, but play along and hug him back.

„Yeah, I know. I‘ve been doing fine…what about you?“ I ask him politely, pulling away from the hug as quickly as I can.

Yes, James and I have been friends in Highschool and it’s cute that he missed me…but it seems a bit suspicious to me.

We‘ve never been THAT close.

I wasn’t expecting him to literally jump into my arms.

Actually, I didn’t even think he likes me that much.

It always seemed like he likes Matt much more than me, which - I have to admit - made me jealous sometimes.

I just never liked the way he looked at him, in such adoration and- f*ck, I don’t even know.

He might’ve even had a crush on him when I think about it like that…

„I‘ve been following you and your brothers on YouTube for some time now. I love your videos! They‘re so funny!“

Ah…here we go.

“Thank you, James. I appreciate it. Happy Birthday by the way. I only got you a small present, but I hope you like it.“

James‘s eyes light up and he smiles, running a hand through his brown locks.

„Thank you so much! That’s totally fine- I mean, we haven’t seen each other in so long. I wouldn’t know what present to give you either.“

God, what is wrong with this kid? Why the f*ck is he so excited to see me?!

I swear I can see his tail wiggling behind him.

„I‘m glad you understand.“ I mumble out, giving him the small bag I brought with me and watching him as he looks inside.

„Oh my god! That’s my favorite chocolate and such a good wine! Thank you, Chris.“ He cheers, hugging meagain.

„Yeah, uhm…Nate helped me pick.“ I say with a forced smile, trying to get some distance between us.

This is unreal. He‘s acting like a crazy fan.

„Why is Matt not with you?“

Trying to ignore the fact he only asks for Matt and doesn’t even seem to care about Nick, I force myself to stay polite and don’t show how annoyed I am.

„He and Nick have some important things left to do in LA and don’t need my help with them, so I figured I might as well go home for a while.“ I lie through a forced smile, trying to make it sound believable.

James scans my face for way too long, his smile faltering not one bit.

It‘s almost scary the way he smiles…all teeth and sparkling eyes.

Like he got trained how to smile perfectly or something…

„Aw, what a shame! I would’ve loved to see Matt again.“

Matt. Why the f*ck is he only talking about wanting to see Matt and doesn’t seem to care about Nick one single bit?!

„Speaking off him…he never said something about having a girlfriend in any of your videos. Is it possible that he’s also gay like Nick and has a secret boyfriend? I mean…I just can’t imagine him being single.“

Oh. My. God.

This got to be a f*cking joke.

There is no f*cking way he just asked me that.

Is there any other way to make it more obvious that you’re crushing on someone?

I swear the amount of self control it takes for me to not smack him across the face, right the f*ck now, is unreal.

„No…Matt and I are straight. Nick is the only gay triplet.“ I say with a forced chuckle, watching his smile falter a bit.

That f*cking moron didn’t seriously think he’d have a chance with Matt, did he?

„I mean…sexuality can always change. I always thought I was straight until I got a dick shoved down my throat. Sounds bad, but was actually one of the best days of my life. Being bi is amazing…I can only recommend.“

My mouth falls open in shock.

He’s just saying that as if he’s talking about the weather.

I don’t even know what I’m supposed to answer to that.

„Oh uhm…well, I’m glad you figured out your sexuality…“ I mumble out, scratching the back of my head.

He doesn’t even seem to notice my startled expression and just continues talking.

„Yeah, it was great. I know this is quite personal, but if you or Matt ever want to try something else than puss*…I’m ready to oblige.“


Get me out of here.

„Uhm…thank you, I guess?“ I say quietly, trying not to blush in embarrassment and from how unbelievably uncomfortable this conversation is.

„Sorry, I have to go to the bathroom real quick..“ I add right after, as I realize that he was just about to continue talking.

If I had known James apparently got a crush on me AND Matt…god, I would’ve never come to this party.

This was supposed to be a little distraction for me and Nate, so that we could talk about everything.

Nothing more.

Where the f*ck is he even at?!

Leaving me alone with that weird ass James…

I’m gonna get him for that.

After searching for what seems like hours and passing the fourth couple making out on the dance floor, I finally spot Nate talking to some girl in the corner of the room.

Letting out a sight, I press myself through the crowd and finally reach him.

Shooting the girl a quick smile and mumbling out an apology, I grab Nate`s arm and literally drag him out of the room and into the bathroom.

„What are you doing?! I had a great chat with that girl!“

Ignoring his complains, I just huff.

„We’re not here because of that! I though we wanted to talk.“

„Oh, so now you wanna talk all of a sudden? Right when I was talking to my dream woman?!“

Rolling my eyes and crossing my arms, I let out a deep breath.

„Okay, whatever. I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have interrupted you. I just really needed to get away from James and I’m losing my mind if I have to stay here a minute longer.“

Tilting his head, Nate looks at me confused.

„Okay, now you’re overreacting. We have been here for, what? Half an hour and you didn’t even have a Pepsi yet. James can’t be THAT bad.“

„Oh but he can! Apparently he’s got a crush on me AND Matt all of a sudden and he literally told me I could f*ck him if I wanted to.“

Nate`s eyes widen in disbelief, before he bursts out into laughter.

„No way! Oh my god. That’s so f*cking funny!“ He laughs out, wiping a tear from his eyes, while I just stand there and watch him annoyed.

„Stop laughing. This is not funny at all. Do you have any clue how f*cking uncomfortable that conversation was?!“

Instead of answering me, Nate just starts laughing even harder.

After two f*cking minutes, in which I just glare at him and watch him laugh his ass off, he finally stops and catches his breath.

„Oh god…I haven’t been laughing that much since forever. Wait until I tell Nick about this.“ He chuckles out, looking at me with a goofy smile.

„Shut up. Since you don’t seem to be interested in what’s been going on anymore…I might as well just leave.“ I mumble out with a pout and turn around to grab the handle of the door and get out of the bathroom.

Nate obviously doesn’t let that happen and I can’t help but smirk a bit as he grabs my arm and pulls me back.

„You know that’s not true. I just wanted to give you some time and space and let you enjoy the party a bit before we talk. You seem way too stressed about whatever is going on and it’s actually scaring me. We’re best friends, Chris. This is just weird. We tell each other everything.“

Letting out a shaky breath, I turn around again to look at him and hum, fidgeting with my hands.

„I know. That’s why I’m here, Nate. My parents and Nick don’t knew what’s going on yet…you’re the first person I’m telling this to and to be honest- I don’t even know what I’m expecting from you. I just- need to talk to someone not involved and get another opinion on this.“

„It’s about Matt, isn’t it?“ He asks me quietly, his expression soft but serious, no hint of his previous goofiness left.

I swallow, my throat suddenly feeling dry.

„Yeah…I told you we had a fight and it’s kind of true, but the reason we had that fight is what’s been stressing me out so much.“

Now or never.

I have to tell him the truth.

„Matt and I are in love with each other.“


It’s so silent I bet you’d be able to hear a pin drop, despite all the loud noises coming from outside of the bathroom.

I hold my breath as I wait for Nate to react…to say something, do something,anything.

Even him yelling at me would be better than this mortifying silence...better than literally being able to hear my thoughts.

But he doesn’t do anything but stare at my face, his gaze burning a hole through me as he seems to try to figure out if I’m joking or actually mean it.

„Oh my god…you’re serious.“ He mumbles out in disbelief, causing me to swallow hard.

I let out a breath I’ve been holding in for too long and slowly nod.

„Y-Yeah…I mean it. A lot happened in the past few months and I’m willing to tell you everything. I just- need you to say something.Please.“I can feel tears forming in my eyes, this whole situation suddenly becoming way too real and a wave of anxiety threatening to overwhelm me.

Nate is still only staring at me and I can literally see the way his mind is reeling.

I don’t blame him.

I don’t know how I would react in such a moment, but it’s killing me.

I’m scared.

I don’t know what he’s thinking…what’s gonna happen next.

This is so much worse than I thought.

„You guys are so, so f*cking stupid. Seriously, you’re the biggest idiots I know. No wonder Nick is loosing his mind with you two.“ He mumbles out after while and rubs his eyes in frustration.

I let out a relived breath and huff out a weak laugh, trying to calm my racing heart a bit.

„I guess you’re not wrong..“

Nate hums and looks at me again, shaking his head in disbelief and groaning in annoyance.

„This is not f*cking real…there are eight billion people on this planet and you seriously fall in love with YOUR TRIPLET BROTHER?! Oh my god, I cannot believe this. No wonder you didn’t tell Nick! He’s gonna get a f*cking heart attack!“

Wincing softly as I hear his words, I scratch the back of my head, blushing in embarrassment.

I don’t even try to say anything more as Nate continues his little rant and watch him with both amusem*nt and guilt.

He’s freaking out…but not in a bad way.

He just seems like he’s completely done with me and I can’t help but smile a bit at that.

He’s acting just like Nick right now and I’m having a hard time suppressing my laughter at how frustrated he looks.

„I’m sorry…It’s not like I wanted it to happen..“

Nate scoffs and looks at me with furious eyes and crosses his arms.

„You better don’t say anything more today. I have to process all of this first and think of a solution in which Nick is not dying because of a heart attack!“ He rants on, walking back and forth and keeping his head down.

The sight is actually way too funny and I would be laughing my ass off, if I didn’t know this is still a serious topic and I’m just really f*cking lucky Nate seems to take this situation with humor right now.

I just don’t think that will last for long…

After a while he comes to a halt and takes in a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

„Call an Uber. We’re leaving, but don’t think I’m done with you yet.“ He mumbles out, walking out of the bathroom and dragging me with him.

Twenty minutes later, the Uber arrives and we get inside, telling the driver to head to my parents house.

The ride is silent, besides some quiet music playing from the radio and even though there is still some tension in the air, I can feel myself relaxing a bit.

Nate is looking out of the window, seeming pretty calm himself and it makes me think that maybe everything is going to work out alright, even though I know I will be hearing a whole speech once we’re home.

„Nate?“ I ask him quietly and he hums in response.

„Why are you so calm about this? You don’t seem really mad at all.“

He huffs and turns his head to look at me, a soft smile appearing on his lips.

„Because I always knew.“

Tough Guy - Chapter 10 - Leo34u (2024)
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